Words of wisdom we've heard over Airline PA systems 18

[SantaMufasa]

I got such a laugh out of Golom's post in the "Speed vs. Velocity" thread:

In a few minutes we will be landing in <pick your favorite third-world city>
Please set your watches back 2,000 years.

...that I thought we needed to give some "air time" to other airline gems, without hijacking the other thread. One of my favourites:

"...Should we experience a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will appear above your head. Place the mask over your nose and mouth, and breathe normally. If you normally do not breathe normally, then breathe as you normally would when you normally do not breathe normally.

What others have you heard?


Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]

 

[tsdragon]

A friend of mine who is a flight attendant says he used this one regularly on Independence Air:

"Should we experience a change in cabin pressure an oxygen mask will be released automatically from the compartment above your seat. To activate the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards your face, place the mask over your mouth and nose, secure in place with the elastic strap around your head and breath normally. If you're traveling with someone who might need your assistance, put your own mask on first in order to better assist them. Parents, if you're traveling with more then one child, you'll have to choose your favorite!"


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[ncotton]

Tracy, that is harsh.

Hope this Helps.

Neil J Cotton
njc Information Systems
Systems Consultant

 

[Sympology]

Keeps the insurance payments down.

Compensation is cheaper for dead person than an injured one.

Only the truly stupid believe they know everything.
Stu.. 2004

 

[SantaMufasa]

In light of today's 21-person terrorist roundup in the UK that foiled a multi-plane, mid-air-destruction, liquid-bomb plot, it makes you pretty grateful for the folks that are doing their airline-security jobs. (No more carry-on drink bottles or other liquids from now on.)

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]

 

[RCorrigan]

SantaMufasa

This is some advise being published by the British Home Office in the light af those arrests :-

Hand luggage
All cabin baggage must be processed as hold baggage and carried in the hold of passenger aircraft departing UK airports.

The only items that may be taken through airport security search points and in to the cabin, in a single (ideally transparent) plastic carrier bag, are the following:

pocket-size wallets and pocket-size purses plus contents (for example money, credit cards, identity cards, etc) - handbags are not allowed.
travel documents essential for the journey (eg, passports and travel tickets)
prescription medicines and medical items sufficient and essential for the flight (eg, diabetic kit), except in liquid form unless verified as authentic
spectacles and sunglasses, without cases
contact lens holders, without bottles of solution
for those travelling with an infant: baby food, milk (the contents of each bottle must be tasted by the accompanying passenger) and sanitary items sufficient and essential for the flight (nappies, wipes, creams and nappy disposal bags)
female sanitary items sufficient and essential for the flight, if unboxed (eg, tampons, pads, towels and wipes)
tissues (unboxed) and/or handkerchiefs
keys (but not with electrical key fobs)
Nothing may be carried in pockets.

Searches and x-ray screening
All passengers must be hand searched, and their footwear and all the items they are carrying must be x-ray screened.

Pushchairs and walking aids must be x-ray screened, and only airport-provided wheelchairs may pass through the screening point.

Seems security will be busy for a while !!!!!!

<Do I need A Signature or will an X do?>

 

[Gooser]

Jeez, won't all that make it quicker to swim across the pond?

--Gooser

 

[ncotton]

Gooser....thats what most people haave chosen todo...look at any of the UK News sites and you will see the shoulder to shoulder chaos at all UK Airports.

Hope this Helps.

Neil J Cotton
njc Information Systems
Systems Consultant

 

[RCorrigan]

Gooser The advise goes on into more depth with specific regard to travel to the US ... I didn't include it as I didn't want to totally hijack the thread [please excuse the pun] but the info can be seen here

<Do I need A Signature or will an X do?>

 

[Gooser]

I hate to display my ignorance, but what happened?

(I recently moved and started a new job with a long commute, I haven't had much time for news-gathering lately.)

--Gooser

 

[sleipnir214]

[g]Gooser[/b]:
The U.K. Home Office and the police have foiled a nasty terrorist plot.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,207682,00.html

http://blogs.abcnews.com/theblotter/2006/08/british_authori.html

Want the best answers? Ask the best questions! TANSTAAFL!

 

[RCorrigan]

Gooser

The Gaurdian

BBC News

Sky News

CNN

<Do I need A Signature or will an X do?>

 

[Gooser]

Why don't they just separate the passengers, Islamists on one plane, the infidels on another?

(by Islamist, I mean extremist/fundamentalist Islamic fanatics)

--Gooser

 

[SantaMufasa]

...US counter-terrorism officials told the Associated Press that three major US airlines - United, American Airlines and Continental - had been targeted in the plot...

Conspicuous by its absence is DELTA Airlines...Could that be because DELTA stands for:

Don't
Even
Let
Terrorists
Aboard

???

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]

 

[Gooser]

US AIR?

U Sure Al-Quaeda Isn't Riding?

--Gooser

 

[ncotton]

Cause if we could do that...we'd have to find someone that can make a bomb for one of those two planes.

Taste of their own medicine...or that wasted on suicidal nuts? Probably damage us more with the cost of a plane...

Hope this Helps.

Neil J Cotton
njc Information Systems
Systems Consultant

 

[Gooser]

...And I thought it was bad when they secretly replaced my Maxwell House[sup][small]TM[/small][/sup] with Tasters' Choice[sup][small]TM[/small][/sup], now they're secretly replacing Enfamil[sup][small]TM[/small][/sup] with Boom-Boom Juice?

--Gooser

 

[KenCunningham]

My brother in law was due to fly back from Arizona via Newark last night, but as far as we know hasn't yet been able to get a flight. He was flying Continental too! I'll give you his spin on matters when I get the chance.

All I ask of you
Is make my wildest dreams come true

 

[tsdragon]

My boss and his family are currently on vacation in Spain. They flew into Europe thru London. He is currently concerned about getting back again. He is supposed to return this weekend. If he manages to get on his flight, I wonder what kind of a mood he will be in on Monday.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[SilentAiche]

...And I thought it was bad when they secretly replaced my Maxwell HouseTM with Tasters' ChoiceTM, now they're secretly replacing EnfamilTM with Boom-Boom Juice?

er, actually, I think, the problem is replacing "V-8" with "C-4."

Tim



[blue]_______________________________________________________
"Although many figures are strange, prime numbers are truly odd."[/blue]

 

[Golom]

Airlines weren't always so careful. We were on a flight (long before 9/11) to depart New Delhi at about midnight. As we sat on the ground the time edged on to 12:30, then 1:00 and finally there was an announcement

Ladies and Gentlemen. Please step off the aircraft and identify your luggage. We have unloaded all of it because we cannot account for all the luggage on board.

OK. Trudge off the plane ... identify the luggage ... climb back aboard ... and another hour goes by ... and then we have to do it all again.

Half an hour later (its now about 3:00 AM) a baggage handler marches onto the plane holding a battered suitcase over his head, preceded by a stewardess asking "Does anyone here own this suitcase?"

Now understand ... this is the suitcase that (probably) contains the bomb or nerve gas or whatever it is, so they've decided that the best thing to do is bring it into the plane's passenger cabin. Fortunately a little guy who hadn't understood any of the announcements excitedly claimed the suitcase and we finally got it off the ground.