Tom Swifties 4

[BocaBurger]

Anyone here old enough to remember Tom Swifties?

"I need a great homerun hitter", said the manager, ruthlessly.

"I can't create any documents", said the PC user, wordlessly.



BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!

 

[AnotherHiggins]

I think
"Elvis has left the building", said Tom expressly.
is my favorite that I've thought up. I googled 'said tom expressly" and found this treasure trove of Tom Swifties (pop-up warning). Their version is "Elvis is dead," said Tom expressly., which actually works better than mine. It seems most of these have been thought of before.

It's still fun, though.

[tt]_____
-John
[/tt]Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.

 

[donbott]

I'm sad I did'nt get that government post, said Tom disappointedly.

What do you mean there's nothing for me in the estate, said Tom distrustingly.

It's a compound fracture, said Tom disjointedly.

I'm joining the priesthood, Tom avowed.

I AM A HUMAN BEING!, Tom announced

It's on the tip of my tongue, said Tom pointedly.

I wasn't even near that pasture,said Tom sheepishly.

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't, said Tom insanely.


DonBott

 

[donbott]

I forgot the punchline, said Tom half jokingly.

ashamed to put my name on these

 

[MakeItSo]

Great link, anotherhiggins!
I just loooove this one:
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.


[blue]An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. - "Mahatma" Mohandas K. Gandhi[/blue]

 

[SkipVought]

"I've arrived to fix your sewing machine," declared Tom to MakeItSo.

But that split personality one is great!

Skip,
[sub]
[red]Be advised:[/red] When you ignite a firecracker in a bowl of vanilla, chocolate & strawberry ice cream, you get...
Neopolitan Blownapart! [/sub]

 

[MakeItSo]

Now I can finally sow seemlessly again, said I to Skip.


[blue]An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. - "Mahatma" Mohandas K. Gandhi[/blue]

 

[BocaBurger]

Stolen from a different thread:

"You are about as useful as a broken pencil" Tom said pointlessly.



BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!

 

[SkipVought]

Seems so!

"'K, 'K! I will sew the seam in the seed bag, so that you can seem to sow the seed in the soil," ceded Tom to MakeItSo.

Skip,
[sub]
[red]Be advised:[/red] When you ignite a firecracker in a bowl of vanilla, chocolate & strawberry ice cream, you get...
Neopolitan Blownapart! [/sub]

 

[tsdragon]

You really need to stop being so bad-tempered," Tom said demeaningly.


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[MakeItSo]

"I O U a thanks for disinfecting my IE" was Toms avowel!

[blue]An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. - "Mahatma" Mohandas K. Gandhi[/blue]

 

[SilentAiche]

Tom believes male pattern baldness is inhairently genetic.

Tim

[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[SilentAiche]

"I'll undo your averages," Tom demeaned!

(((((((Sorry, Tracy, this one was just tortured....))))))

Tim






[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[SkipVought]

"I'll undo your averages," Tom demeaned from the median, in a mode of standard deviation.

Beat this dead horse!

Skip,
[sub]
[red]Be advised:[/red] When you ignite a firecracker in a bowl of vanilla, chocolate & strawberry ice cream, you get...
Neopolitan Blownapart! [/sub]

 

[SilentAiche]

Aye, carry me loans to the grave, will ya? Beat this debt hearse indeed!

Tim

[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[rhertz]

Look, twin surgeons," Tom said paradoxically.

 

[SkipVought]

rhertz

"Suture self!" guffawed Tom in stitches.

Skip,
[sub]
[red]Be advised:[/red] When you ignite a firecracker in a bowl of vanilla, chocolate & strawberry ice cream, you get...
Neopolitan Blownapart! [/sub]

 

[BocaBurger]

95 replies and only two stars." said Tom, disappointedly.



BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!

 

[SkipVought]

"So many replies; so few luminaries." ruminate Tom nebulously, as he stirred his small amount of flour and fat for his gumbo.

Skip,
[sub]
[red]Be advised:[/red] When you ignite a firecracker in a bowl of vanilla, chocolate & strawberry ice cream, you get...
Neopolitan Blownapart! [/sub]

 

[SkipVought]

“I believe that, after examining the other seven quarters, this one might be the one best suited for me,” ruminated Tom Swift, Esquire, as he planned his numismatic enterprise.

Skip,
[sub]
[red]Be advised:[/red] When you ignite a firecracker in a bowl of vanilla, chocolate & strawberry ice cream, you get...
Neopolitan Blownapart! [/sub]

 

[AnotherHiggins]

That's it, Skip. You're cut off," said Tom with his rapier wit.

"I got some extra condiments," mustered Tom as he struggled to catch up to his friends.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue]
[/tt][red]"If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."[/red]
-Mitch Hedberg

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.