Tom Swifties 4

[BocaBurger]

Anyone here old enough to remember Tom Swifties?

"I need a great homerun hitter", said the manager, ruthlessly.

"I can't create any documents", said the PC user, wordlessly.



BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!

 

[ESquared]

My new job title is De[blue]fender[/blue] Of The McLaren F1, and it's really crushing work!" said Tom after the accident.

McLaren F1 photos

 

[SilentAiche]

Skip,

I like the new sig.

Forgive me if I'm being fowl, but I'm surprised the D's allowed a sig involving "[blue]necked chicks.[/blue], however eggciting it might be.

I shouldn't have even axed...

Tim



[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[SkipVought]

"Eggcruciatingly painful necromancy!" exclaimed Tom to the dentist, after he pecked away at the dead, abscessed tooth, but could not pull it.

Skip,
[sub]
[red]Be advised:[/red]When Viscounts were guillotined just as they were disclosing where their jewels were hidden, it shows to go that you should...
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken! [/sub]

 

[donbott]

I don't get the yolk.

DonBott

 

[SilentAiche]

"He could pullet if he wasn't chicken," said Tom [blue]cow[/blue]ardly.

Tim



[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[AnotherHiggins]

I'm reminded of this:
Why do chicken coups have two doors?
[COLOR=white white]If they had four doors, they'd be chicken sedans[/color].

And now back to Swifties:

"I hate milking the cow," Tom uttered. (I wanted to respect the recent farm theme. I can't believe this hasn't already been posted.)

And a bonus:
"What is XM's competitor called," Tom asked seriously.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue]
[/tt][red]"If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."[/red]
-Mitch Hedberg

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.

 

[BocaBurger]

Buy IBM" said Tom, bullishly. (Can't believ we missed that for so long).

"This metal mesh saved my life." said Tom.....




wait for it.




gratefully.

"They love my music" said Gerry, greatfully.

"Help me Rhonda" sang Tom, boyishly.

"I can dance too." Said Tommy, tunefully.

"I can play Bach better than you." said Isaac, violintly.

"I like young girls" said Allen, woodenly.

"One pill makes you larger" sang Grace, slickly.





BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!

 

[SilentAiche]

"Bye, IBM" Tom said bearishly.

Tim



[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[SilentAiche]

"The letter before "T" is about the 18th in the alphabet," Tom estimated.

Tim

[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[SilentAiche]

"Working out at the gym is unreasonable and therefore ridiculous," Tom said absurdly.

Tim

[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[SilentAiche]

"IBM", Tom bragged, "with a single vowel movement."

Tim

(international "business" indeed, ...)

[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[tsdragon]

BOOOOO!


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[SilentAiche]

no smile
no wink
so I sink
apologies to all
if what i said
was all that small..
sorry, y'all.

T





[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[tsdragon]

Oh, don't be that way! When it comes to puns, "BOOOO" is a GOOD thing!


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[SilentAiche]

Tracy,

Please, please forgive my last post - I have a strange "thin skin" thing that sneaks up on me some times.

Ignore it, please. I was in an ill and strange mood, which sadly let me sort of lash out. I didn't mean it. You have, as much as anyone, helped me navigate here.

I'll try to return as a grown-up.

Tim

(BTW- you could have slammed me without end, and I am really grateful for your kind reply. Thank you.)



[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[tsdragon]

Hey, at least it was pretty decent poetry.

Don't sweat it, we all have our days. I try not to take anything said too seriously.


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[ESquared]

crime in knee
aye emgladd
eye gay vittup,
foe razzue cancee
there znotty nuffplait
and tomb utch serie ocity.

 

[tsdragon]

Hey, that's pretty good. I like that one. Maybe we should start a new thread like that.


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[SilentAiche]

E,

I agree with Tracy - your 09 May post was really clever. I tried about three times to poetically connect "crime in knee" with arthritus, but just couldn't make it work to my liking.

However, when y'all least expect it...

Tim
(grins and all!)



[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[SilentAiche]

The Czechs will be free!," Tom Prague-nosticated.

Tim

(a bump..........)

[blue]______________________________________________________________
Once, while sitting on the bank of Stick Creek, I found myself thinking about small lakes. Then, I realized, I was probably just pondering. [/blue]