Dumb lyrics 1

[stackdump]

I heard a song on the radio today, the words were so weird I actually looked them up. Are these the worst song lyrics ever written?

Artist(Band):The Beautiful South (Heaton/Rotheray)
It doesn't take a labrador
To show a blind man sun
Either you are simply beautiful
Or I am simply dumb
Dumb, dumb, dumb
The sun, the sky, the moon, the stars
Jupiter, Neptune and Mars
All these things I clearly see
It don't take a telescope for you to love me

The line "It doesn't take a labrador, To show a blind man sun", means what exactly? Are we talking about someone from Labrador or the dog?

It's the last line in particular that kills me, "It don't take a telescope for you to love me". Does this imply that some young (or old lovers) would actually buy a telescope to sustain their relationship?

My previous favorite was a band called Shakespeare' sister that wrote the lines...

Woke up this morning, street was full of cars,
all bright and shiny like they just arrived from Mars

Oddly, I quite like the tunes, but I challenge you to beat these lyrics for poetic awfulness!

 

[CRilliterate]

Great 2c gbaughma!

________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[CajunCenturion]

==> Whether you hit the nail on the head or you just landed a blow in the vicinity, I think you have unhanded my entry in this discussion. Nicely done.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to unhand anything. I thought you asked.

That's the nice thing about odd or ambiguous lyrics, they mean different things to different people.

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[Thadeus]

CC, speaking of ambiguous, I meant my response as an honest thank you and a compliment.

~Thadeus

 

[GwydionM]

Slightly off-topic, try googling for mondegreen. Or look here for some examples.

------------------------------
An old man who lives in the UK

 

[LFI]

My favorite worst lyric of all time comes from Sir Elton John. I think he just got lazy, but I can't believe he couldn't find a different rhyme for "show"...

If I were a sculptor,
[red]but then again, no.[/red]
...or a man who sells potions
in a traveling show...

I like the potions part, but why start the thought of being a sculptor, only to interrupt it?

I went ahead and looked up the surrounding lyrics, just in case this is a context-thing:

If I were a sculptor, but then again no,
Or a man who sells potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you.

Now I hate the potions-line too. What do those two lines have to do with the rest of the verse?

Except for those two lines, however, I think the song is quite lovely.

Dave

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce
they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does

 

[KenCunningham]

The song is quite lovely, Dave, but I don't think the lines are lazy, just a device to move the song forward and to show that the writer couldn't imagine doing anything other than write his [insert partner of choice] a song. It was probably written by Bernie Taupin too.

 

[CRilliterate]

Once my American born friend after I complained about lyrics said 'Do you actually listen to the words?' and looked at me funny...
I am thinking now - are all of us here non-native to US? lol


________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[Trevoke]

gbaughma : off-topic, does your friend build go boards?


CRIlliterate : guilty as charged, non-US born.

My first entry in this thread isn't "dumb" lyrics so much as .. dumb rhyme?

We all know Queen - The Show Must Go On, no?

I guess I'm learning (I'm learning), I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning (turning, turning) round the corner now

"That time in Seattle... was a nightmare. I came out of it dead broke, without a house, without anything except a girlfriend and a knowledge of UNIX."
"Well, that's something," Avi says. "Normally those two are mutually exclusive."
-- Neal Stephenson, "Cryptonomicon"

 

[SamBones]

I'm a Yank, born and raised, and I listen to the lyrics.

I think it depends on the type of music. In some genres the music is just there in the background to carry and support the lyrics. In other genres the vocals are just another instrument fighting for it's share of the mix.

I love Mondegreens...

...'scuse me while I kiss this guy...

 

[Trevoke]

I thought those were Jimi Hendrix lyrics? ...
And he says "Excuse me while I kiss the sky" although it's so amazingly unpronounced you have to wonder if it's on purpose or not.

"That time in Seattle... was a nightmare. I came out of it dead broke, without a house, without anything except a girlfriend and a knowledge of UNIX."
"Well, that's something," Avi says. "Normally those two are mutually exclusive."
-- Neal Stephenson, "Cryptonomicon"

 

[Turkbear]

Hi,
There is a series of small books:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/s...e,+availability,-daterank/103-9770419-6034260

That have many,many of these womnderful mis-hearngs



To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[gbaughma]

gbaughma : off-topic, does your friend build go boards?

<greg stupid mode>
Umm... what's a go board?
</greg stupid mode>



Just my 2¢

"In order to start solving a problem, one must first identify its owner." --Me
--Greg

 

[stackdump]

I certainly agree that lyrics are sometimes deep and meaningful and can create moods and emotions. Many are beautifully poetic when read on their own. There is hope for our various languages.

Doesnt quite work the same with;
You say tomato and I say tomato
You say potato and I say potato

Sometimes lyrics just compliment the overall 'effect' of the song. I heard Jumpin Jack Flash recently and felt compelled to turn it up real loud. The lyrics keep the rhythm going and Mick's vocals give it real attitude. I have no idea what Mick is saying, but that overall 'sound' makes one great track, it's just impossible to keep still while listening to it.

 

[tsdragon]

For overall strange lyrics and groan inducing rhymes I would recommend Tom Lehrer.

Who else would write songs about:

Smut
Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
The Olde Dope Peddler
World War III (So Long Mom)
My Home Town (NOT like your average home town)
I Hold Your Hand in Mine (NOT what you'ld expect)

Who else would rhyme:

quibbled and ribald
philately and Lady Chatterly
pigeon and smidgen
shut and unsubt-le
try-and-hide and cyanide
quickenin' and strychnine (strychanine)

And many, many more.

In high school I memorized ALL of his songs. I can still remember most of them (even "The Elements").

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[Trevoke]

Hm.. I can't send messages to users. So..
Off-topic again..

http://kurokigoishi.co.jp/english/seihin/goban/index.html

That's a go board
Sorry for disrupting the thread
If you're curious, my username at gmail.com and we can talk more.

"That time in Seattle... was a nightmare. I came out of it dead broke, without a house, without anything except a girlfriend and a knowledge of UNIX."
"Well, that's something," Avi says. "Normally those two are mutually exclusive."
-- Neal Stephenson, "Cryptonomicon"

 

[IknowMe]

My favorite lyrics for friday....

ITS FINALLY FRIDAY IM FREE AGAIN
I GOT MY MOTOR RUNNING FOR A WILD WEEKEND
ITS FINALLY FRIDAY IM OUT OF CONTROL
FORGET THE WORKING BLUES AND LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLLLLL

Enjoy your weekend!

Wow, I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I think I've forgotten this before.

 

[mjldba]

or perhaps you'll like this quote from Frazier Crane as he entered Cheers on night, "Everybody have fun tonight, everybody whang-chung tonight.

 

[CRilliterate]

Was 'Cheers'filled with Asians on that night?

________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[mjldba]

Wish I could remember but I don't.

 

[SantaMufasa]

CRilleterate and mjldba, Just to clarify each of your most recent contributions: "...filled with Asians..." and "Wish I could remember...", do you not remember to what Fraser was referring?

Those lyrics are from a popular song at the time from a band with the same name ("Wang Chung"). They were pretty much a "one-hit wonder". According to the band themselves, the term "Wang Chung" had nothing to do with Asians, but instead was the textual representation (wording) that they believed most closely approximated the sound of an unfretted "strum" on their guitars..."Wang Chung".

And re-visiting Dave's (LFI's) assertion that Elton John's "Your Song" has dumb lyrics...I agree, but I believe the dumbest lyrics of the song are at the end...after Elton sang tribute and such devotion to his partner, he ends up delivering some of the more thoughtless of all love-song lyrics...

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

How believable is he if he says "yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen...but I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue"?

Amongst my votes for All-time Dumbest lyrics, however, come from Manfred Mann:

Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night (again and again ad nauseum)
Madman drummers bummers,
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin', sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night (again and again ad nauseum)
Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong,
play the song with the funky break"
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in his curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Mama always told me not to look into the eye's of the sun
But mama, that's where the fun is
Some brimstone baritone anticyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
Says, "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in it's funny bone,
that's where they expect it least"
And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner,
watching the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone, reminding him of romance
Now Scott with a slingshot finially found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-me-not said daddy's within earshot save the buckshot, turn up the band.

Excuuuuuse Me !?!?! How many drugs would one need to consume to come up with lyrics like these? Who can please decipher what the heck it all means?



Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]