Dumb lyrics 1

[stackdump]

I heard a song on the radio today, the words were so weird I actually looked them up. Are these the worst song lyrics ever written?

Artist(Band):The Beautiful South (Heaton/Rotheray)
It doesn't take a labrador
To show a blind man sun
Either you are simply beautiful
Or I am simply dumb
Dumb, dumb, dumb
The sun, the sky, the moon, the stars
Jupiter, Neptune and Mars
All these things I clearly see
It don't take a telescope for you to love me

The line "It doesn't take a labrador, To show a blind man sun", means what exactly? Are we talking about someone from Labrador or the dog?

It's the last line in particular that kills me, "It don't take a telescope for you to love me". Does this imply that some young (or old lovers) would actually buy a telescope to sustain their relationship?

My previous favorite was a band called Shakespeare' sister that wrote the lines...

Woke up this morning, street was full of cars,
all bright and shiny like they just arrived from Mars

Oddly, I quite like the tunes, but I challenge you to beat these lyrics for poetic awfulness!

 

[tsdragon]

I think they are talking about a Labrador dog, as in a seeing eye dog for the blind. That breed is very often used for seeing eye dogs due to their intelligence and sweet disposition.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[CajunCenturion]

==> Does this imply that some young (or old lovers) would actually buy a telescope to sustain their relationship?

I don't see that. To me it means that you don't need a telescope to the vastness of my love. It's right there in front of you. Both the telescope analogy and the seeing-eye dog analogy both support the same basic theme.

You shouldn't need any help or any tools to see my love. It's right there in front of you, and all you need to do is open your eyes.

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[KenCunningham]

One of my favourite bands. Paul Heaton's lyrics really are idiosyncratic, but brilliantly descriptive.

 

[Thadeus]

I'll put most Procul Harum lyrics up against any others for odd (I'm hesitant to call them dumb) lyrics. If anyone's got an explanation that doesn't boil down to, "well they were on some heavy hallucinogens", let me know.

In The Wee Small Hours Of Sixpence

In the wee small hours of sixpence
and the lighted chandelier
stands a rusty old retainer
whose old eyes are filled with tears
for his master, Good Sir Galant,
who is now off to the wars
And although his eyes are crying
we know grief is not the cause
And if grief is not the reason
he must be of sterner stuff
and his sword though old and rusty
must be blunt as sharp enough

I love this song by the way, as I do most of the Procul Harum work from this time period.

~Thadeus

 

[AnotherHiggins]

A couple of my favorite examples:

Disclaimer: As with above commenters, I like the songs and the bands.
[tt]
Paul Simon:
Song: The Myth Of Fingerprints"
Album: Graceland[/tt]

Well, the sun gets bloody
And the sun goes down
Ever since the watermelon

The next one is less 'dumb' than lazy[tt]
Primus:
Song: Mr. Knowitall
Album: Frizzle Fry[/tt]

They call me Mr. Knowitall
I am so eloquent.
Perfection is my middle name
And whatever rhymes with eloquent.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue][/tt]
[tab][red]The plural of anecdote is not data[/red]

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[CajunCenturion]

Thadeus - When I read the Procul Harum lyrics, I get this image.

I see an old warrior, now a teacher, in the twilight of his career, who has been training a new master and has seen that student accept the duties and responsibility of becoming the next master. The student has now become the master, and is off to his first conflict, and the wise old teacher sheds tears of joy in this coming of age, and in the passing of the torch. For the teacher, the body is weak, but the mind is as sharp as ever, and he's proud of his student, 'his master'.

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[SamBones]

It doesn't take a labrador
To show a blind man sun
...

I take this as, the sun is something you can feel. Even it it can't be shown, it's something the blind man can feel. That's the nice thing about odd or ambiguous lyrics, they mean different things to different people.

Here are some lyrics that are pretty odd. They're by a band called Jughead. Jughead is a side project of Ty Tabor, guitar player for King's X. Anyway, the song is called Yesterday I Found Myself. Here are just the verses (no chorus)...

Yesterday I cried balloons
Rubber tears came out
Like water on the moon
With scarlett eyes
I tried to find my way
Yesterday I found myself

Yesterday I lost a tooth
I saw the fairy on the roof
Yesterday I heard the news
My fruity looms became a noose

Yesterday I hit the wall
Had nobody else to call
Planted peaches in the mall
Was it yesterday at all

Sounds pretty stupid, but it is an awesome song.

I also nominate John Prine for best lyric writer.

 

[CRilliterate]

It doesn't take a labrador
To show a blind man sun???????????????

You've got to be kidding me...

It doesn't take a labrador
To show a blind man sun???????????????

It must had took a pot of pot
For lyrics with such twist
I do not need a telescope
To see how high was beast...



________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[IknowMe]

My thoughts are along with TS and Cajun's seing eye dog theory.

It doesn't take a labrador
To show a blind man sun

Of course not, a blind man could feel the sun.

The other verses in the song indicate the same message,
I believe the writer is trying to show how obvious his love for this person is.

I apologize these are out of order but here are the other two verses.

It doesn't take a mathematician
To add a simple sum
Either you are simply beautiful
Or I am simply dumb

It doesn't take Robert The Bruce
To see the web you've spun
Either you are simply beautiful
Or I am simply dumb


Not quite sure who Robert The bruce is (perhaps he's known for good eyesite or some type of spider studies)


Wow, I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I think I've forgotten this before.

 

[CRilliterate]

to SHOW...not to FEEL the sun, common...
No one can SHOW anything to a blind person. It is just an excuses for a bad lyrics.

You are beautifull...
You are beautifull...
You are beautifull...
It's true...
I saw your face
from outterspace
and I don't know what to do...

Another hit that makes me want to stop the car, get out and weap...


________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[IknowMe]

Robert The Bruce, is this refering to the "Scottish Heroe".

Regardless if he was the reference or not it was an interesting Google, but I'm still not getting the web conection.

Unless the song is leaning towards his grasp of a political web?


Wow, I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I think I've forgotten this before.

 

[SamBones]

From a Google search...

After a bloody defeat, and whilst taking refuge in a dark cave escaping the English army, Robert sat and pondered his campaign. Feeling the power of failure he looked up and saw a small spider climbing up its silken thread to reach its web, time and time again the spider fell, but returned again to struggle its way home. As you might have guessed, the influence that this imagery had on Robert lead him to pick up his sword and exclaim "If at first you don't succeed - try, try again!". His words remain with us all still.

http://www.highlanderweb.co.uk/wallace/bruce.htm

 

[IknowMe]

If you asked someone to "show" a blind person where the restroom was, would that be an incorrect statement? Thoughtless?

Wow, I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I think I've forgotten this before.

 

[stackdump]

So to show how much love this guy has, he knows that it would not have taken a defeated Scotsman in a cave to have noticed that the subject was weaving some form of web. Yeah right, ok, I give up on that one.

Maybe Im now jinxed by the God of bad lyrics, but this song by Sting came on the radio today.

One day in a nuclear age
They may understand our rage
They build machines that they can't control
And bury the waste in a great big hole
Power was to become cheap and clean
Grimy faces were never seen
But deadly for twelve thousand years is carbon fourteen

My offspring tell me that Carbon 14 is naturally occurring. It's not a waste product and neither is it dangerous. But, of course fourteen does rhyme with "seen" though, so it does have a useful application in pompus lyrics.

The idiot should have used

But deadly is plutonium and uranium-eeeeen.

 

[CRilliterate]

I would point blind person in a direction of a restroom or take him to one but I would be very tempted to use word 'show' yes...but will blind person ask to show him or?

________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[buck2506]

Somehow in all this discussion of blind men I think of the line "I see" said the blind man to his deaf son.

 

[AnotherHiggins]

I see, said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.

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[gbaughma]

No one can SHOW anything to a blind person.

Interestingly enough, one of my best friends is blind. I show him things all the time. He just looks with his hands.

Of course, a few things I can't/won't show him... how to use his lathe (we haven't figured out that one yet, although he does darned well with a table saw, router, drill press, and does some of the most beautiful woodwork you'd ever want to see....)

He was born with very poor vision, and went totally blind from rubella, 6 months before they came out with the vaccine. Ouch. But he doesn't consider himself impaired... quite the opposite. We have things I call "Jim Jobs"... for example, if I have a light bulb out in my dash board, he can feel which one isn't warm, and change it a LOT easier than I could (because I have to see to line it up again). He "listens" considerably faster than I do, and I have actually seen him butterfly reading a braille Popular Mechanics, while listening to a talking book in one ear, and listening to morse code in the other.

He mows his lawn, on a riding lawn mower no less, with his girlfriend giving him directions with a walkie-talkie. He will notice things that I don't (especially if I've made something out of wood and haven't sanded it to HIS satisfaction... lol)

And, he's got a SLEW of blind jokes. Like the guy who walked into the hardware store with his seeing eye dog, picked up the dog and started swinging him around his head. When the manager asked if he needed help, he said "Nah, just having a look around."





Just my 2¢

"In order to start solving a problem, one must first identify its owner." --Me
--Greg

 

[Thadeus]

CC,
Thanks for the Procul Harum deciphering... Whether you hit the nail on the head or you just landed a blow in the vicinity, I think you have unhanded my entry in this discussion. Nicely done.

~Thadeus [new imagery has taken root]