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  1. mjldba

    Usage of the word epicenter

    Think about the situation "autocorrect" put this poor guy in .......... Andy is watching TV & his phone notifies him of an incoming text. It says "Hi Charlie, wanted to let you know I just got caught hopping on your wife, sorry". Andy puts down the phone, picks up his pistol and shoots his...
  2. mjldba

    Dumbest colleagues you have ever worked with

    This happened to a guy I work with. He was setting up a PC for a new employee and he was explaining the standard login ID and password requirements. She created her login ID but hesitated when entering her password .... she didn't know what to use so she asked my buddy what he used. He said...
  3. mjldba

    Dumbest colleagues you have ever worked with

    Many years ago we were using a packaged application that required the login and password to be entered in uppercase letters. One of our illustrious endusers was having difficulty logging in so I went to her desk to go over the basic login procedure. When I brought up the uppercase requirement...
  4. mjldba

    Rebuild index job massively increased DB size. How to get back down?

    If you're using a FULL recovery model then rebuilding indexes is growing your log file (ldf). I suggest doing a transaction log backup and then shrinking the log file. If you're using a SIMPLE recovery model then rebuilding indexes is growing your data file (mdf). If you do a SHRINKDATABASE...
  5. mjldba

    Hurricun

    I was a car mechanic many years ago & it drove me nuts when someone asked me to check the water in their "bat-tree". I told them the water level in their battery was fine.
  6. mjldba

    First Amendment Rights meet my granddaughter's sense of humor, headon

    If that department store happens to be Wal-Mart then you might want to submit your granddaughter's snap to peopleofwalmart.com Lots of similar content there
  7. mjldba

    First Amendment Rights meet my granddaughter's sense of humor, headon

    ding ding ding ding ding .... we have a winner!
  8. mjldba

    Obscure Engineering Conversion Factors

    automotive decadence = a car with 52 dents
  9. mjldba

    duplicating redundancy...

    Few years ago I saw a guy trying to be the biggest Texas cowboy badazz he could be wearing a T-shirt that proudly stated "If you ain't a cowboy then you ain't s**t". If you take the slang contraction "aint't" and expand it to what is probably "are not" then you have "If you are not a cowboy...
  10. mjldba

    Name for the area under a curve.

    In reference to your DNT ("Do Not Touch") remark, I think the area under a curve is also referred to as "ribs" :)
  11. mjldba

    Penmanship in the Digital Age

    I tend to print because I want to be sure other people in my dept. can read my notes because, aside from my signature, my handwritting is awful. Actually, I tend to join the printed letters together in a flowing manner to I guess I use a hybrid form of manuscript & cursive.
  12. mjldba

    Typically British versus typically American given names

    My GF's father was named Hyman .... glad that fell from popularity.
  13. mjldba

    Man shot in head, but notices only 5 years later

    Lucky he is
  14. mjldba

    DBAs... is it always like this?

    It's not like this every day, just the days the end in "y" ... including Saturday & Sunday
  15. mjldba

    Most Annoying Words

    A friend of my ex-wife is a HS teacher and she adopted the "like" method of relating a previous conversation via monologue. "I said I'm like not going to the game" and "She's like why not?" and "I'm like what cares about football" and "She's like I'm with you, the team like sucks" and "I'm like...
  16. mjldba

    Most Annoying Words

    Amazing" is like fingernails on a chalkboard for me. As soon as I hear someone say "I saw < movie title here > and it was amazing", "I tried the new Starbuck's Double Mocha Latte Carnival and it was amazing", or "James called me last night & we talked for hours...it was amazing" I know I...
  17. mjldba

    The National Anthem?

    agree with you about focusing on content rather than melody. First time I heard "God Bless the USA" (Lee Westwood) was at an NFL championship game that occured at the same time as the Desert Storm offensive. We were patted down outside the stadium (usual) by stadium security and patted down...
  18. mjldba

    The National Anthem?

    The US and Canadian anthems are sung before NHL hockey games & I love the Canadian anthem because it can actually be sung by an average human being. I'm sure more than a few professional singers have rendered the US anthem "their-style" because the vocal range necessary is demanding. My...
  19. mjldba

    Can a single thing make a 'concerted' effort?

    I've always understood (or assumed) that "concerted effort", whether made by an individual or a group, meant "focused or organized to achieve a singular goal".
  20. mjldba

    It is not just IT support that gets 'those' calls

    From: IT To: all employees When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse...

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