Why do so many people not acknowledge help 27

[johnnymac43]

When a question is asked in a technical forum, the first reply is usually a useful piece of advice or a request for more details. In some tek-tips forums, the number of occasions when there is no response from the originator is substantial. In my view, a word of thanks or a simple answer to a question should be the 'normal' outcome.

I recently raised this topic in a technical forum. When it disappeared after a short time I was unsure whether it was because it was in the wrong place, or because the thread attracted some unexpected abuse:- (What is your problem?) (What are you complaining about?) (Why haven't you given more stars to us for our good advice to others?)

After some deliberation I have decided to try this forum in the hope of getting some serious discussion going.

Cheers

John

 

[arlems]

To my view, it is a failure to properly communicate or knowing the components of communication. Those people who cannot ack help, or simply can't ack others, might not even know that acking is the action of ending that specific communication cycle. Therefore, by not being able to use this component, they run into much trouble in life, and they might not even know why. Look around and see what happen when someone fails to ack others. He creates a very small upset every single time, and he run into much trouble with communicating to people.

 

[EdwardMartinIII]

I've always chuckled at the line "What we have here is a failure to communicate".

I've been thinking about this a bit this morning and it occurs to me that there are some very simple ways to achieve closure on something. Most of the time, a simple "Hey so-and-so, you still having this problem?" not only conveys an interest in helping solve the problem, but often acts as a gentle reminder that there is more than one person involved in this transaction, without it becoming a passive-aggressive plea for acknowledgement (not that anyone here's doing that, mind you). Sure, the initiator can still ignore you, but most will -- in my limited experience -- respond back with a pleasant "Yeah, it worked great. Thanks!" and then you can respond "Happy to Help!" or "My pleasure!" and the transaction is closed.

That would be a win-win scenario, I'm thinking. They have their answer, and they know this as a place where people care about doing a good job. They may come back again. They may offer help, too. A lot of that depends on the stoutness of their moral fiber. Mmmmm, fiber...

Cheers,


Edward

"Cut a hole in the door. Hang a flap. Criminy, why didn't I think of this earlier?!" -- inventor of the cat door

 

[greyted]

EdwardMartinIII,
"Hey so-and-so, you still having this problem?"
There was a question asked the other day, can't remember the thread, but it did elicit a response from the thread originator.

CajunCenturion,
You are welcome.


Ted

"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity."
Benjamin Disraeli.

 

[SpankYou]

Hey everyone,

Just thought I'd say a bit, I'm enjoying reading this thread, really got me thinking.

I haven't been a member too long, but I have recently been employed by a company, that has forced me to learn VBA (luckily I knew VB), and a couple of other programs with which I have little or no experience. Unfortunately I don't think they see manuals as a crucial part of a program, I mean what I have found some people doing with certain programs is crazy. Thanks to everyone that has helped me at Tek-Tips, a number of which have been in this thread, I am now happily confident with programs I'd never even heard of a couple of months ago.
To show my gratitude I have in my free time attempted to help people with things I have learnt, and previously knew from experience. I mean I have always at least tried to say thanks for help offered to me, and always give people stars where deserved. But it wasn't until I started helping people, that I realised how ungrateful some people are.

I have encountered numerous threads with the title as URGENT!!! - now I'm always reluctant to help these people as a rule, but sometimes ithink hey why not. More often than not though I never recieve any thanks at all.

I have seen threads with a huge explanation of what they want, then an hour later another posting on the thread from the person that posted it initially, replying saying "do you not know anything???!?!?"

I mean I try my best, i'm by no means an expert, but I figure, i'll deal with the easier questions, and let the real experts deal with the expert questions.I think if people took time to...

Post answers where the have worked them out their selves. Use please and thank you.
Stop being so impatient.
Help at least a couple of people (as previously suggested) for every post they make, if there is nothing they can answer, there is always another day!

.... then maybe people would recieve the gratitude they deserve. When you start helping others, you realise how hard people have worked for you.

Anyway

Hope all is well for you lot

Keep up the good work (i'll try to as well)

And thanks again for everyone that has helped me.

Cheers

Sam

 

[arlems]

Just a few good men. Thank you Sam for writing in such a way that people can understand your communication. I have learned in many fields that a normal person get his exchange in with others. Meaning he can give and can receive, and when the balance is equal, his relationship with others get stronger and stronger.

When one stops giving, then he certainely reduces his chance of receiving from others. It could go as far as being a criminal, which is to receive and never give. A real criminal is insane, and he can't help others, he can't give to others, he just take everything for free from others, even their lifes.

Obviously, there are gradients between a sane person and a complete insane. So please continue to give and help others.

 

[GlenJohnson]

This is one big post. I apologize for skimming through it and not reading each and every post. What I wonder is about people that are just down rite rude. Here's a post from someone who didn't have the patience to let us help him. thread96-626222 What do you folks think?

Glen A. Johnson
Johnson Computer Consulting
MCP W2K
glen@johnsoncomputers.us

Want to get great answers to your Tek-Tips questions? Have a look at FAQ219-2884

"Once the game is over, the king and the pawn return to the same box."

 

[strongm]

Oh dear. The poster there is rather unpleasant...

 

[CajunCenturion]

And gone now.

Thank you to those you provided the Red-Flags.

Good Luck
--------------
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[arlems]

Glen, I read that post, and immediately recognized the attitude. I read your answer, saw that you tried to help the guy, and that alone is commendable.

I guess the Red-Flag is the tip in such case. He'll get one in a minute. I have noticed a handful of people always helping. You are one of them, CajunCenturion is another, as well as bcastner, and a few others. I have read your treads and got some good information out of them.

 

[GlenJohnson]

Thanks arlem. That is the whole point of Tek-Tips. For those of you who listen to Kim Kommando, the self proclaimed "Digital Goddess", she's starting a forum on her web site where users can help each other. What a concept!

Glen A. Johnson
Johnson Computer Consulting
MCP W2K
glen@johnsoncomputers.us

Want to get great answers to your Tek-Tips questions? Have a look at FAQ219-2884

"Once the game is over, the king and the pawn return to the same box."

 

[tb]

Hi every one - now it's time for me to add my 2 cents worth.

Thanks for everybody that helps out whenever and whereever they can - really appreciated !

I am having trouble to see the difference between 1. someone that really has a problem (really advanced coding or maybe staring at a blank wall and needs an extra pair of eyes or someone that started a new job and is thrown into the deep end to maintain code that is rocket science) and 2. someone that needs our help to complete homework assignments.

I know that I participate out of my own free will and that I am not obliged to answer anything - but . . .
How do you differenciate between the two - I might be wrong (and I am sure you guys will tell me that) but I really don't feel like helping a guy getting an A for his homework.




"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy." - Spike Milligan

 

[Stevehewitt]

I agree, but I have been told by people (mainly techy newbie's to TT who don't realise I have been a member for years!) that homework isn't allowed!
Generally, I agree - but this really isn't applicable in this forum. TT have a rule about this - its not allowed

 

[manarth]

As to how to differentiate between the 2,

- if it looks like a homework question, it probably is
- clicking on their username will take you to their profile, where you can read their previous posts, see how long they've been a member, etc. this can sometimes give a new perspective to the question.

<marc> i wonder what will happen if i press this...[ul][li]please give feedback on what works / what doesn't[/li][li]need some help? how to get a better answer: faq581-3339[/li][/ul]

 

[sleipnir214]

Some of the things that have clued me in that a post is a student asking a homework question:[ul][li]The post begins &quot;I have this homework question that...&quot; (yes, I have actually seen this. More than once)[/li][li]The post asks a question with some very artificial-sounding constraints: &quot;I have to write a function that calculates the volume of a left-handed smoke shifter, and I have to use an array...&quot;[/li][li]It's a problem a teacher or professor once assigned assigned to me.[/li][li]It sounds like a test question: &quot;What's the difference between a stack and a queue, and what are some examples of how you would use each one?&quot;[/li][/ul]

Want the best answers? Ask the best questions:

http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html

TANSTAAFL!!

 

[bcastner]

A very interesting and lively discussion.

My related pet peeve: I do not like posters who offer money or other bribes for a response.

I just feel it demeans the whole Forum process, users helping users.

 

[sleipnir214]

Gee, I feel left out. No one's ever offered me a bribe for a response.

Want the best answers? Ask the best questions:

http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html

TANSTAAFL!!

 

[benlinkknilneb]

bcastner:
I saw a post on another forum just yesterday where the poster was offering to buy a six-pack of Sam Adams for the most helpful post as an &quot;added incentive&quot;.

 

[EdwardMartinIII]

Hm, I know that there are several people in and around the board who are minors. That seems a dicey proposition...

Cheers,


Edward

&quot;Cut a hole in the door. Hang a flap. Criminy, why didn't I think of this earlier?!&quot; -- inventor of the cat door

 

[manarth]

on the other hand, who, if emailed by a member, would turn down beer?!

<marc> i wonder what will happen if i press this...[ul][li]please give feedback on what works / what doesn't[/li][li]need some help? how to get a better answer: faq581-3339[/li][/ul]

 

[GlenJohnson]

My related pet peeve: I do not like posters who offer money or other bribes for a response I'm not proud, bribe me. I'm also over 21, beer would work.



Glen A. Johnson
Johnson Computer Consulting
MCP W2K
glen@johnsoncomputers.us

http://www.johnsoncomputers.us

Want to get great answers to your Tek-Tips questions? Have a look at FAQ219-2884

&quot;Once the game is over, the king and the pawn return to the same box.&quot;