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Tom Swifties 4

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BocaBurger

Vendor
Feb 5, 2004
1,164
US
Anyone here old enough to remember Tom Swifties?

"I need a great homerun hitter", said the manager, ruthlessly.

"I can't create any documents", said the PC user, wordlessly.



BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!
 
I couldn't decide between the following two:
(Limerick:)
"The delight's going to my head,
'Impressive feat, it must be said,
It's finally here,
Try not to leer,
Here's the hundredth post in this thread,"
said Anna, versely.

(Haiku:)
"Many different posts,
But each with a clever twist.
Now, the hundredth post,"
said Anna, versely.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue]
[/tt][red]"If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."[/red]
-Mitch Hedberg

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.
 
I'm a poet, and didn't know it!" Tom exclaimed inversely.

"One-line rhyme?" asked Tom universally.

"In jail with no bail," Tom said conversely.
 

"I may be the most famous prisoner ever," Tom said iconically.

Tim





[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say
[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]
 
I hurt myself in Yoga class." Tom said disjointedly.

"I'm teaching my dog to bark on command." said Tom, ruffly.

"I think that rat bit me." said Tom, rabidly.

"I've been a victim of identity theft!" said Tom, poorly.

"I don't think I should have bought this boat for $50.00." said Tom, sinkingly.

"The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain." said Tom while doing very little. "That was quite a stretch." said Tom expandedly.

"I like the painted Fu dogs." said Tom Cantonically. "I wonder who will get that one." said Tom wonderfully.

"When I was in China, I never saw those little cookies." said Tom fortuitively.


BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!
 


"Earlier, there were only 2 stars out. Now you can see Orion's Belt." exclaimed Tom with astronomical emphasis.

Skip,
[sub]
[glasses] [red]Be advised:[/red] When you ignite a firecracker in a bowl of vanilla, chocolate & strawberry ice cream, you get...
Neopolitan Blownapart! [tongue][/sub]

 
I hope you don't write code like that." said Tom buggily.

"I let my former wife keep the winning ticket!" Tom exclaimed.



BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!
 

"Aren't I still starry?" Cassiopeia asked [blue]em[/blue]phatically??

Tim



[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say
[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]
 


"Why do I play solitaire?" Tom asked idealy.

Tim

[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say
[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]
 


"Some of these websites are shocking," Tom said with I browse raised.

Uh, Bill, yeah that's it, Bill

[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say
[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]
 
Can we take a rest?" the convict cuffed.
"Spare me that strike!" Jim bawled
"Will this thread take any end?" Tom longed...
:eek:)

[blue]An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. - "Mahatma" Mohandas K. Gandhi[/blue]
 
That Tom exclaimed, “This tipper takes the cake!” with a sigh, lent a cheeky appearance to his statement.

Skip,
[sub]
[glasses] [red]Be advised:[/red] When you ignite a firecracker in a bowl of vanilla, chocolate &amp; strawberry ice cream, you get...
Neopolitan Blownapart! [tongue][/sub]

 
I want to hear everyone's best excuses because I need a good one for my girlfriend," Tom replies.
 
I was rebooting my computer." Tom said, through a Window.

"I was not kissing her, it was vertical CPR." Tom said disparedly.



BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!
 
Someone took my bottle of bourbon," Tom said dispiritedly.


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard. [dragon]
 
It's a trick I learned at the did-stealery, and I can proof it" Tom said drunkenly.

Tim

[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say
[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]
 
I love beans, broccoli and cukes." said Tom gasously.

" Do you think these gas prices are the Middle East's way of thanking us for all that freedom?" Tom questioned, poorly.



BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!
 

"If only I could teach my pet troleum to sit (or at least to stay)," Tom said fuelishly.

Tim



[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say
[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]
 

"Those silly comedians, a barrel of laughs, tried to crack up my pet, troleum, but instead, made my pet, roll," Tom stated borishly.

Skip,
[sub]
[glasses] [red]Be advised:[/red]When Viscounts were guillotined just as they were disclosing where their jewels were hidden, it shows to go that you should...
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken! [tongue][/sub]
 
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