These job qualies crack me up

[Cstorms]

• Bachelor’s degree in a computer-related field or equivalent work experience.
• A+ certification and/or MCSA/MCSE certification.
• Two (2) to Four (4) years of PC troubleshooting, installation, configuration, and software administration.


My favorite part is the A+ and OR MCSA/MCSE .... so either you know your irq numbers, orrrr you know Windows. Hmm the HR director needs either a brain and or a different job.

 

[philhege]

Must have 5-6 years experience in SQL Server 2005."

Sure. Let me set my Wayback Machine[sup]TM[/sup] to RidiculaSpeed and get right on that.

Not that this was an actual position posting, but I know we've all seen similar.

Phil Hegedusich
Senior Programmer/Analyst
IIMAK

http://www.iimak.com

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Not NULL-terminated yet.

 

[IT4EVR]

It gets worse for developers/programmers.

Here is a list of must-haves for a position. Of course 2+ years experience in all.

C# 2.0
XML
SQL Server 2005(DBA-level)
Javascript
OOP
HTML
UI Design
UML
Graphics Design
CSS
ADO.NET
ASP.NET
Infopath
Sharepoint
Computer Science Degree or equivalent

 

[dyarwood]

I agree most of those type of ads are a little optimistic but if you get the beta versions it is possible to have that experience.

 

[LadySlinger]

I was always told 2 things regarding those types of ads:

1) Apply to the job anyways because they may just be feeding more information out there to scare away the "lazy" applicants.

or

2) Don't work there...especially if its not the HR department that posted those requirements.

 

[SQLSister]

My personal favorite was the HR person who told me I wasn't qualified for the job I had applied for (one I had 20+ years of pertinent exoerience for!) but who thought I would be qualified for a programming position they had open. "What language?" said I. "I don't know, is that important?" was the reply.

Questions about posting. See faq183-874

 

[Demonpiggies]

Personally being a newbie to sofware eng. and just graduating (less than a year ago) and working in the field it sucks that every entery-level job EXPECTS you to have literally 2-3 years job experience. I applied to Med***** in Boston for an entry-level software engineer. If you got the job they have you go offsite to this training facility for 2 months before you even see any of their products. Then for about a 2 weeks you'd go to their product knowledge lectures. And then you'd shadow someone for 4-6 months and then maybe if you were ready you're on your own. I don't get it...

 

[58sniper]

I can certainly understand that. Those in engineering positions, and some in administrative positions have access to a LOT of information that's sensitive (be it financial or personal). A company that's very disciplined in how and when it allows support staff to do things is far better than a business that just turns you loose on day 1. IMNSHO

Pat Richard, MCSE MCSA:Messaging CNA
Microsoft Exchange MVP
Want to know how email works? Read for yourself -

http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc2821.txt

 

[Demonpiggies]

Understandably but it seems wrong to believe someone with real work experience (5+ years) would actually consider taking this job. Maybe it is just me but that seems a bit ridiculous. Administrative is wholly different than being an engineer unless they themselves were promoted engineers.

 

[AlexCuse]

Just saw this gem:

PHYSICAL DEMANDS

Requires the ability to sit for long periods of time.

Ignorance of certain subjects is a great part of wisdom

 

[KornGeek]

Alex,

Sadly, that is often put in there for legal reasons. If a person has a medical condition that does not allow them to sit for long periods of time, they would be unable to do the job. However, if this requirement is not listed, they could claim discrimination. Probably nothing would come of it, but in this litigious society, companies often choose to err on the side of caution.

 

[AlexCuse]

Wow, I can't believe I have never seen that one before. Oh well, I still think its' funny! Kind of sad that they need to explain that for a programming job at the same time.

Ignorance of certain subjects is a great part of wisdom

 

[pmonett]

if this requirement is not listed, they could claim discrimination

So, if I publish an ad with the mention "requires the ability to think critically and objectively, and behave in an adult manner", does that mean I won't get ANY applicants ?

;-)


I've got nothing to hide, and I'd very much like to keep that away from prying eyes.

 

[mrdenny]

Pretty much, yeah.

Got knows I wouldn't qualify.

Denny
MCSA (2003) / MCDBA (SQL 2000)
MCTS (SQL 2005 / Microsoft Windows SharePoint Services 3.0: Configuration / Microsoft Office SharePoint Server 2007: Configuration)
MCITP Database Administrator (SQL 2005) / Database Developer (SQL 2005)

--Anything is possible. All it takes is a little research. (Me)

http://www.mrdenny.com

 

[rjoubert]

On the flip side, I saw a resume once that listed Notepad as a technical skill. Let's just say that resume found it's way into the ole' circular file.

 

[philhege]

Start -> Run -> notepad

Do I qualify now? ;^)

Phil Hegedusich
Senior Programmer/Analyst
IIMAK

http://www.iimak.com

-----------
Not NULL-terminated yet.

 

[SQLSister]

Sadly there are some HR departments who would knock out a perfectly qualified candidate (in all other respects) if he didn't have Notepad on his list and it was on their quals list becasue they wouldn't know that any technical person can use Notepad and most of us wouldn't bother to put it on the list. The guy probably got burned on a job application for something like that and now puts everything and the kitchen sink on his resume, so he won't get excluded again. My theory is I'd rather get excluded from a job at a company where the employees are that dumb.

Questions about posting. See faq183-874

 

[jrbarnett]

Technical questions on Notepad I can think of that could be asked and are relevant to many IT jobs:

1. Which one keystroke will insert the current date/time into the file?

2. How do you set it up so that the current date/time will automatically be appended to the bottom of the file whenever it is opened in Notepad?

3. When saving a file, how do you stop Notepad adding a ".txt" to the end of the filename?

I'd guess most HR types wouldn't have a clue how to do these.

John

 

[philhege]

You're right, John; deep knowledge is the key. When I was interviewed by a recruiter, he had the right questions to ask about my specialties, and they were structured in a way to elicit knowledge in increasing complexity as he went along.

You probably won't find that approach from your run-of-the-mill HR department.

Phil Hegedusich
Senior Programmer/Analyst
IIMAK

http://www.iimak.com

-----------
Not NULL-terminated yet.

 

[Glenn9999]

There's a lot of silly stuff out there. Like I say, HR people aren't too smart about anything IT related.

The guy that put Notepad on his resume probably realized that he was going to get burned if he didn't put everything and the kitchen sink on there. Reason: 99% of resumes these days get put into the ol' circular file because they don't have specific keywords in them set out by HR. Most resumes today get run through OCR systems and are rejected on the first pass based on the existence of certain keywords.

Actually with the way the HR monkeys do it (like I said, if you find one that actually knows anything about IT, they're about 90% ahead of the game among HR types), it's a very smart thing to list everything, even if you don't think of it as a "essential job skill". If anything, blame the HR departments this guy has met in the past if you think putting Notepad on his resume was a stupid thing. In fact, if you are in a position to hire, vent any kind of anger/feelings you have on this practice towards any HR folk if you have them.

Of course, if we go to my own experiences, I find that most people don't care about technical skills and experience whatsoever, but care more about your ability to be "the life of the party". Not coincidental given that I find 99% of those in position to hire have no clue about what they're hiring for.

And my favorite job qualification as listed in a job ad: Five years of ASP.NET & C# experience. Catch: This ad appeared a year after it was released.