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SalesSpeak

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BoxHead

BoxHead

Technical User
May 6, 2001
876
US
I was looking at leasing a car awhile back. The salesman was very enthusiastic about explaining the "Guaranteed Value" part of the deal. I could lease the car for five years and they would absolutely guarantee that the value of the car would remain much higher than if I purchased the car and tried to sell it at the end of five years.

So, I asked. My choices are
A: I could buy the car, drive it for 5 years and then bring it back to sell it to you for some low dollar amount, or
B: I could lease the car, drive it for five years and then come back to buy it from you at a much higher price?

Not the sharpest crayon in the box, I'd guess, the salesman grinned even bigger and said, "Exactly!"

I guess part of me has to admire the trainer who got him so enthusiastic about this "selling point", but I also wonder if there are other examples of really, really stupid things that salespeople have said to others where it was obvious that they weren't paying a bit of attention to what they were saying.

Or, along slightly different lines, SalesSpeak that has gained acceptance through repetition.
Example: I have to assume that it was a tool salesman who coined the phrase, "A craftsman is only as good as his tools."



 
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...And I remember doing a double-take when a software salesman tried to use the following as a selling point:
Dopey the Salesman said:
Each version is always better than the next.
Click to expand...
What did he say?!?!?!?

[santa]Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[ Providing low-cost remote Database Admin services]
Click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips if you use Oracle in Utah USA.
 
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I once had a mechanic try to convince me that my vehicle's brake system needed major repair because the front pads were about 70% worn, while the rear pads were only about 40% worn. "That's a big problem," he said.

I asked, "So, you're telling me that if I give you more money, you'll fix it so that the laws of physics don't apply to my truck?"

He turned red and quickly changed the subject.



I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson
 
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I had a salesman at a national electronics chain (ends in "City") explain to me that a TV I was looking at was an LCD.

This was wrong because:
1. It wasn't a flat panel display, it was a projection TV.
2. It didn't use LCDs in the projection system, either.

I didn't bother correcting him.

Chip H.


____________________________________________________________________
If you want to get the best response to a question, please read FAQ222-2244 first
 
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I got it! I got it! I JUST called dillership for the price for the car I know I want.
She said they have it in stock (lot whatever) and I asked for how much...and she said 'depends how much you put down'
And I said ???? how is that?
And she said 'If you choose to put down three thousand dollars it will cost you less'
I said how much less
and she said 'less amount of your down payment'...
I bet I could continue with her until now...should I call back? It was so much fun, she was also telling me how great this company is AFTER I told her I bought 4 cars from the so far. Isn't she lovely?
 
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CRilliterate,

Call back!

See if you could get 'cash back' by paying an even higher price. Use that as your down payment and you may end up driving for free. [smile]

 
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My favorite stupid bit of "sales speak" is the popular: "Save 50% Off!" Huh? You can either save 50%, or you can get 50% off (they're equivalent), but how can you save 50% off? Does that mean you get it for free? Or for 25% of the original price? Or what?

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard. [dragon]
 
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Customer's would always ask " tell me what's your best price?"

My reply would always be "The best price is the one you and I can agree on!" <grin>



Some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, while others wonder what happened.
 
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A good friend used to manage an ice cream shop, and he would periodically get the question, "Do you have chocolate?". My friend's response was always, "No <ma'am/sir>, we discontinued the chocolate ice cream because it just wasn't very popular."


I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson
 
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Had anyone walked away after that? lol

Someone from dillership left me a message last night asking what time I am going to be there today. I never said I am coming!!! I don't have enough down payment to save so much!
 
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Years ago when I was LOT younger a sales person told me that the interior of the vehicle that I was looking at had "genuine simulated leather" seats??



Mikey
 
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There is mobile Ad sign outside a Hair Salon that Reads,

"Buy one Cut, Get another Same Price"...

What the Heck does that mean??? Do the next time I come in I am guaranteed that the cut will cost the same as last time???

I have always wanted to go in and ask them, but everytime I pass by there it is late at night.

Casper

There is room for all of gods creatures, "Right Beside the Mashed Potatoes".
 
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Please, call them and find out for us, would you? I wll not sleep until I find out. Could that be it is badly written 'BYGOFree"?
"Buy one Cut, Get another XXXXXX Price"... I can't think of anything to replace xxxx with...
 
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Hi,
Probably means,
Buy One, Get another ( of same price - Haircuts can vary in price, depending of the salon and the client's desires) free..



[profile]

To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."
 
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It could be a hook to get you thinking and generate business & free advertising :)

<Do I need A Signature or will an X do?>
 
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Maybe, "Buy one haircut, get another haircut costing the same price free"

Whatever it means, it's badly written.

Hey! I wonder if the first haircut maybe counts as some sort of down payment on the second haircut. [smile]
 
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Mikey's experience reminded my of the sign I saw travelling through Northern Georgia one time:
Antique-shop Sign said:
Custom-made Antiques
Click to expand...
...or the other great slogan on some chintzy holiday ornament:
Christmas Ad said:
...Helps preserve the true artificiality of Christmas...
Click to expand...
Whadda great sign![2thumbsup]

[santa]Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[ Providing low-cost remote Database Admin services]
Click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips if you use Oracle in Utah USA.
 
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Hi,
I have seen ads touting 'Genuine Replicas'
( wouldn't want any fake ones) the come with a 'Certificate of Authenticity'...




[profile]

To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."
 
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BoxHead :
"Hey! I wonder if the first haircut maybe counts as some sort of down payment on the second haircut. "
-which reduces price by amount of down payment? They must be located next to my dealership.
 
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