SalesSpeak

[BoxHead]

I was looking at leasing a car awhile back. The salesman was very enthusiastic about explaining the "Guaranteed Value" part of the deal. I could lease the car for five years and they would absolutely guarantee that the value of the car would remain much higher than if I purchased the car and tried to sell it at the end of five years.

So, I asked. My choices are
A: I could buy the car, drive it for 5 years and then bring it back to sell it to you for some low dollar amount, or
B: I could lease the car, drive it for five years and then come back to buy it from you at a much higher price?

Not the sharpest crayon in the box, I'd guess, the salesman grinned even bigger and said, "Exactly!"

I guess part of me has to admire the trainer who got him so enthusiastic about this "selling point", but I also wonder if there are other examples of really, really stupid things that salespeople have said to others where it was obvious that they weren't paying a bit of attention to what they were saying.

Or, along slightly different lines, SalesSpeak that has gained acceptance through repetition.
Example: I have to assume that it was a tool salesman who coined the phrase, "A craftsman is only as good as his tools."

 

[Turkbear]

Hi again,
Another of my 'favorite' ad tricks, is the use of non-standard ( sometimes even archaic) language to fool the buyer..
Hence ads for

Faux Pearls
Ersatz Diamonds
etc..







To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[Stella740pl]

Faux Pearls
Ersatz Diamonds

That reminded me of one silver jewelry shop near which I used to work. When people inquired what are those clear stones, cubic zirconia or crystals, the girl at the counter responded: "Diamonites". Most curious customers also drilled, what the heck are those diamonites, who else in the whole world heard of them, or what are they made from, she said something that those are very good stones. Or well.

 

[BoxHead]

And, Stella740pl, that reminded me of waiting tables in my college days and being instructed how to handle customers' questions about the menu:

Q: Is your seafood fresh?
A: It's fresh-frozen!

And that reminds me of a visit to McDonalds when they had a sign posted advertising, "Soft serve chocolate ice cream".

I ordered a chocolate cone and was given a vanilla cone with some tar-like stripes running through it. I repeated that I had ordered a chocolate ice cream cone and the manager explained, "That's what we call chocolate."

I told him the word was already being used and got my money back.

 

[AnotherHiggins]

BoxHead,

Your Car Salesman story definitely beats anything I can offer, but I did hear some doozies last time I bought a car.

I drive a first generation, 2003 Toyota Prius (a gas-electric hybrid, for those unfamiliar). This was the last model year before they made significant body and engineering changes that produced the car that exploded in popularity, leading to nation-wide 8-month waiting lists. But when I bought mine, there were tons on dealership lots. Salesmen didn't bother learning anything about it because they sold so few.

Luckily I did research before going out and looking at cars, because I talked to a few salesmen who were willing to tell me anything to make a sell. Among my favorite claims:
[ul]
[li]Because the gasoline engine shuts off when stopped, and because the electric engine accelerates for the first 15-20 mph before the gasoline engine kicks back in, the gasoline engine is spared a lot of wear and tear. (So far, I’m buying this. Then he continued….) So the gasoline engine is expected to last at least 1 million miles. [/li]
[li]The exhaust from this car is cleaner than the ambient air in Los Angles on a smoggy day.
[ul][li]I love this one. Heck, it might even be true, but if it were it seems like it would appear somewhere in Toyota’s sales literature.[/li][/ul][/li]
[li]There were several mangled attempts to explain the Electrically Controlled Variable Transmission (ECVT) – actually all of the salesmen said it had a Continuously Variable Transmission (CVT) (I won’t bore you with the differences - but there are differences). During my first test drive, I asked what the ‘B’ position on the gearshift was for (the ‘gears’ run P R N D B). The salesman didn’t hesitate. He confidently told me that it stood for ‘Battery’. Put the car in ‘B’ and you can drive in all-electric mode. It turns out that it stands for Engine Breaking and basically shifts to a ‘lower gear’ – it is used for coming down steep hills where you shouldn’t ride the brakes.[/li]
[li]If, god forbid, anything bad should happen to the Hybrid battery after it’s 80,000-mile warranty is up, it is simply impossible to have the car repaired. The batteries aren’t available except when buying a new Prius. (This was actually a sales manager trying to push me into a more expensive car).[/li]
[li]If you ever run out of gas, you can just drive with the electric motor for several miles until you find a gas station. This one is true – if you don’t mind voiding the warranty![/li][/ul]

I wound up buying from a dealer in Sanford, NC from very friendly salesman who didn’t feed me any bull - and I got a great price.

[tt]_____
[blue]-John[/blue][/tt]
[tab][red]The plural of anecdote is not data[/red]

Help us help you. Please read FAQ181-2886 before posting.

 

[jebenson]

Perhaps the "Buy one Cut, Get another Same Price"... marquee is just a joke, to get people talking. Name recognition is a big thing in advertising, and it is possible that at least some people tried that salon because of the slogan. It also can be construed as, "If you get your hair cut here, you'll like it so much that you'll get your next haircut here too."

It's similar in joking sentiment to the slogan on a tire business here in Austin (which I've mentioned in another thread, I can't recall which):

"If it's in stock, we've got it!"

I've never patronized that tire store, but I know exactly where it is and the name of the business, all because of that sign.


I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

 

[chiph]

Your Car Salesman story definitely beats anything I can offer, but I did hear some doozies last time I bought a car.

I just *love* car salesmen. Especially when the first question they ask is "What color are you looking for?". It's just begging for me to string them along, as it's a sure sign they have -zero- product knowledge.

So, I always answer that my favorite color in the whole world is Brown, and that's what color I absolutely want my next car to be painted.

No one has made a brown car in the US since 1984 or so, so it's fun to watch them go through the mental contortions of "OMG, we don't make a brown car, how do I tell him this and not lose the sale?"

Chip H.

____________________________________________________________________
If you want to get the best response to a question, please read FAQ222-2244 first

 

[cupid11213]

I would have told you that i know a great guy who would paint it BROWN for a really great price.

I used to work as a salesman for several years (trust me it helps to learn the trade to get into sales manager positions anywhere in any trade.

I never bull sh8*#d a customer, but i had alot of friends who would.

*one trick they will always use on you is to have you agree with everything they say "yes,yes,yes" and most likely when they ask you to purchase it your most likely answer will be "yes".

*you might think I'm bull sh****g you but most customers will fall for that kind of strategy, i have seen it for many years since my father is still in the car sales business.

****ever heard when you say that yes you would buy their car they answer you " ok. well lets park it in the sold section"

well to let you in on a secret the SOLD SECTION is anywhere where there is space to park the car...



Some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, while others wonder what happened.

 

[jrbarnett]

I've had my current mobile (cell) phone for about five years, so tend to get rather a large number of calls from the company offering to "upgrade the phone for free to <insert new model> for only £x/month line rental"
Pardon? I'm on a pay as you go tariff, so don't pay line rental, its included in the price of the calls.
When I point out that this is not "free", they say "Oh" and end up hanging up on me.

John

 

[nicksims]

A great source for more bad advertising is Consumer Reports magazine. I don't work for them. Just a big fan. But the last page is always a special section of bad advertising, misleading information on items for sale, and ridiculous warranties.

Nick

 

[Thadeus]

In college I lived over a certain store.

That store had a large number of signs on the facade that were all used for advertising.

My favorite was one that simply states.

GOING OUT [sub]for[/sub] BUSINESS SALE!

Looking at it, it's hard to believe I ever lived there... In fact I had to argue with my roommate in order to stay when he determined at semester break that I should move out...

~Thadeus

 

[tsdragon]

I heard this on a TV commercial just last night: "The other car dealers told me my trade-in wasn't worth much, but <dealer> gave me full Blue Book value."

It sounds good, but those two are NOT necessarily contradictory. The full Blue Book value may only have been a few hundred dollars, in which case the other dealers were correct - it wasn't worth much.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[stackdump]

Reading these stories about 'bad salesman' reminded me of a 'bad customer' story...

My wifes car was falling to pieces, but she loved the car so much she would not let go of it until it was totally shot. We took it to a car dealership and asked the sales guy what he would give us for it if we traded it against a new car, the guy offered us $500. We looked around a few other places and eventually went back to that same dealership, but ended up with a different and much junior sales guy.

I mentioned that we have been in a few hours ago and that his colleague had offered us a $1000 for the old car. We were getting the paperwork together when my wife looked at me shaking her head and chirped "...no he didnt, he offered us $500...".

I could have died.

 

[CRilliterate]

Stack,
my daughter says Hello to your wife.
We went to Buffet on Sunday for brunch and waiter asks me how old is my daughter and I said - eleven, and my daughter says 'Nah-hah, I am t-we-l-we'... but she IS eleven, DOB in October, she is going ot stay 11 until October,2007!!!
But they charged me full price and I didn't care to argue how dumbfound I was ... but we had a talk...

I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[Stella740pl]

but she IS eleven, DOB in October, she is going ot stay 11 until October,2007!!!

You mean, until October,2006, or that she is really ten?

But it's probably time to require her to carry some student ID with date of birth on it - or to pay the price herself from her allowance.

 

[CRilliterate]

2006 ofcourse! I was actually wondering about those IDs they get in school with picture...this is what this is for.
Thanks, Stella.

I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[Chopstik]

Funny enough, I took a call from my local internet provider last night asking if I would be interested in switching my phone service over to their new digital phone service. Before I had the opportunity to express that I would not be interested, the salesman quickly began his spiel.

Yes, for only $40 US/month (not including taxes and other fees), I could get this service which would allow me to call anywhere in the US, etc. There would also be a small fee to be switch service providers, but overall, the quality and price would be better and less (respectively) than my current provider. Was I interested.

I then proceeded to inform him that I currently use an internet phone service already that allows me to call anywhere in the US and China, as well as taking calls from the US and China (I essentially have a local number in both countries so callers in both countries are not calling international with the associated costs), for the low price of $25 US.

The salesman repeated his question as to whether I would be interested in his offer. I asked whether he was listening to me the first time around or if he thought I did not understand the value of money and would prefer to pay more for less services (such as he was offering). He huffed a bit and then hung up. Oh well...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."
- Winston Churchill

 

[CRilliterate]

The salesman repeated his question as to whether I would be interested in his offer.

And I said 'Why would I?' - this usually sets 'em off for a few seconds that's allowing me to say 'while you are at this let me tell you about garage sale i am having this Saturday...are you interested in items that will be sold?'

Result as with Chopstik but I am so proud of myself for a sec...then I am feeling guilty for getting down to level of 'chasing sales person away'...

I do not know if this qualifies for Sales Talk but for a few month I have someone Mr.Greene calling me and asking for /Name/ person. I am saying that this person doesn't live here and he goes 'You know what?' and I say 'No, I don't' and hang up...then he calling again.
Sometimes I miss him. I know they hired him for the scary voice tone and ability to be obnoxious to a strangers. I will talk to him eventually...no time yet...

________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[SilentAiche]

I bought a new computer yesterday (thus ending my absence from TT for several weeks) at Best Buy. Never again. They have this deal where their "geek squad" checks out your computer before you take it home. Sales-guy said it would take 20 minutes. At the 20 minute mark I asked the geek squadress and learned no one had even looked at my machine yet. Her excuse - "walk-up" customers had taken their time.

Did I hear them right?? After spending nearly a thousand damn bucks, am I not a ^#@%*&% customer?

Still pissed at Best Buy, but dang happy to reconnect at last to TT.

Tim

[blue]______________________________________________________________
I love logging onto Tek-Tips. It's always so exciting to see what the hell I
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[Turkbear]

Hi,
I have the same reaction when a salesperson takes a phone call while waiting on me...I realise that it is probably their boss's fault for understaffing the counter, but it still tempts me to just walk away..





To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[SilentAiche]

I was extremely tempted to walk away, but I'd been away from TT for so long I couldn't stand it.

My simple solution to Best Buy: Have an (out of sight) staff dedicated to "checking out" new PCs; have them out of sight of walk-in customers; provide a "waiting" room for those customers who you require to wait, a place with, I don't know, CHAIRS. Tell the customer the TRUTH about how long it will take.


Grrrr,

Tim



[blue]______________________________________________________________
I love logging onto Tek-Tips. It's always so exciting to see what the hell I
said yesterday. [/blue]