SalesSpeak

[BoxHead]

I was looking at leasing a car awhile back. The salesman was very enthusiastic about explaining the "Guaranteed Value" part of the deal. I could lease the car for five years and they would absolutely guarantee that the value of the car would remain much higher than if I purchased the car and tried to sell it at the end of five years.

So, I asked. My choices are
A: I could buy the car, drive it for 5 years and then bring it back to sell it to you for some low dollar amount, or
B: I could lease the car, drive it for five years and then come back to buy it from you at a much higher price?

Not the sharpest crayon in the box, I'd guess, the salesman grinned even bigger and said, "Exactly!"

I guess part of me has to admire the trainer who got him so enthusiastic about this "selling point", but I also wonder if there are other examples of really, really stupid things that salespeople have said to others where it was obvious that they weren't paying a bit of attention to what they were saying.

Or, along slightly different lines, SalesSpeak that has gained acceptance through repetition.
Example: I have to assume that it was a tool salesman who coined the phrase, "A craftsman is only as good as his tools."

 

[AngelB]

If I get asked 'Is Mr Evans there?' by a telemarketer, I like to reply in a somewhat offended voice 'No, he's in prison'.

Click.

Geraint



Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all

 

[CRilliterate]

Fact that you don't HAVE a credit card though you loved the offer does it well too.

I am wondering if there is somewhere telemarketers forum where they exchange 'rude customers' posts:-D

________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[jrbarnett]

I had a good one yesterday. In order to understand this, you have to understand that I live with my parents. My father and I are always impersonating each other for cold callers.

Caller: Hello, is that Mr Barnett?
Me: Yes
Caller: Oh, its <name> from <motor insurance company>. I gather your car insurance is due for renewal about now.
Me: I don't know why you're calling me as I don't own a car or hold a driving license.
Caller: Oh, I'll remove you from our calling list then. Sorry to bother you. <hangs up>.

John

 

[sha76]

I've started a new game; I always (without being rude to them, or just telling them to go away) get the caller to hang up on me. Sadly I'm a victim of my own success & hardly get any sport out of it these days!
NB The quickest way to get rid of double glazing salesmen, etc: "Sorry, I rent"

"Your rock is eroding wrong." -Dogbert

 

[jsteph]

The thing my wife and I do when telemarketers call is to hang up before 'online' signal goes to their headset.

There's always about a 2-second delay from the time you say 'Hello' to the 'online'--this is because most of larger call centers have the call system dial numbers sequentially or from a list, and as soon as an audible voice is heard on an answered call, it routes the 'live' call to an available agent.

So I count one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand--CLICK, if no sound is heard.
--Jim

 

[hawks]

I like to say just a minute please I'll get him/her. Then I transfer the telemarketer to some toll free number. Date line, chat room anywhere that there is not a charge.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Jim and Hawks, Are you saying that you still receive telemarketing calls at all (presumably after you have added your name to the "National Do-Not-Call" list)? Any unauthorised commercial solicitation following your adding your name to the DNC list risks a $10,000 penalty (in your favour) per call.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[

http://www.dasages.com:

Providing low-cost remote Database Admin services]
Click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips if you use Oracle in Utah USA.

 

[chiph]

Any unauthorised commercial solicitation following your adding your name to the DNC list risks a $10,000 penalty (in your favour) per call.

The telemarketers are now using a loophole in the law that says if they have an existing relationship with you, they can still call you. So what they do is get you to participate in a "survey". Bingo - you now have a relationship with them, and they can call you back regardless of your number being on the do-not-call list.

Chip H.


____________________________________________________________________
If you want to get the best response to a question, please read FAQ222-2244 first

 

[2ffat]

Actually, these people have always called me at work. Why, I don't know.


James P. Cottingham
-----------------------------------------
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[CRilliterate]

I think if do-not-call list has their name they can't call but if they went and re-registered under another name?

I think creditors suppose to be added to do-not-call list also:-D Have anyone thought about it?

________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[Bo9]

In college we used to have a running contest to see who could keep a telemarketer on the line the longest without signing up for anything or giving them any more information than they already have. Since it was a contest you had to have a witness to time you and disqualify the call if you give up any information, usually by yelling "TIME! Disqualified, you just told them (whatever you gave up)" loudly enough that it usually ended the call. It really lets you practice your human engineering and really upsets some of the telemarketers since being on the phone and not getting anything from you does not make them any money. My personal best was four hours.

 

[hawks]

You got me by about 3 hours 59 minutes & 45 seconds... Don't know how you done it that long with out giving up any info. But congrats...

 

[SantaMufasa]

Bo,

First, rather than considering the telemarket on the other end of the line as some sub-human, scum-of-the-earth slimeball, I envision them to be some "Poor Joe" or "Poor Joanna" that that may be a single parent, just trying to pay rent and put food on the table for themselves and their kid(s); that they are somebody's adult kid (similar to my working-stiff six kids). Then, at that point, I apply the "Golden Rule" test and ask myself, "How would I want someone to treat my working-stiff kid?"

I would hope that if my kid was unfortunate enough to have to resort to Telemarketing to pay her/his bills, that those with whom my kids dealt would have enough respect for their own time value and the time value of others, that should the Potential Customer (PC) not care for what my kid is offering, that the PC simply offer some frank and honest response like, "I don't care to do business via this method. Please place my number on your 'Do Not Call List'." Telemarketers (in the U.S., at least) are obligated to follow those instructions and end the call.

Playing games like the one you prescribed (regardless of how despicable we believe Telemarking to be) is, frankly, a benign form of theft: Theft of the telemarketer's time and her/his company's wages-paid to the rep.

I would have a hard time doing such a thing then responding "Yes," to the question, "Am I honest in my dealings with others?"

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[

http://www.dasages.com:

Providing low-cost remote Database Admin services]
Click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips if you use Oracle in Utah USA.

 

[SF0751]

I would have a hard time doing such a thing then responding "Yes," to the question, "Am I honest in my dealings with others?"

From thread717-1172206:

Should I be worried about ethics here?...

The phone rang as I was sitting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, "Is this William Wagenhoss?"

This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?"

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said off to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood."

I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable!!!

So it's okay to terrify a telemarketer, but it's not okay to waste their time? I'm not fond of telemarketing calls, either, but I can't see how one "game" is less ethical than the other.

Susan
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls, and looks like work."
- Thomas A. Edison

 

[Turkbear]

Hi,
Thanks Dave...I spent my early work years ( I had no marketable skills but was articulate and quick-witted) as a telemarketer for various companies ( some very good, some sleazy - I was young and hungry)..

The best response to that type of call is a simple
'No Thanks' - do not give a reason and just say goodbye - and these days, add the 'Place me on your do not call list' ..
( we were trained to handle any reasons for declining)

If someone was rude and insulting ( or tried to play 'games' ) there were ways of insuring that the person was on every sleazy call list in existance -- I never resorted to that stuff, or the other techniques some folks used to intimidate/cajole/persuade the person into buying which is why I was not very good at the job and quit the field when I found other work I could do.




To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[2ffat]

If you want to give Telemarketers fits, you can legally do it.

http://www.junkbusters.com/script.html

You can possibly sue telemarketers if they don't answer your questions.

http://www.junkbusters.com/fcc.html

James P. Cottingham
-----------------------------------------
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[CRilliterate]

Santa! And I almost cried reading and all this was not what it seemed? BWHOOOooooooooooo...my spirit broken.,

________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[Stella740pl]

Bo9,

You got me by about 3 hours 59 minutes & 45 seconds... Don't know how you done it that long with out giving up any info.

And I don't know why. My time is much more valuable and expensive that one of a telemarketer, and even more so to me. I guess if I had 4 hours completely free, I would have found better things to do. My game is to get off the phone as fast as possible without plain rude hanging up.

What I can't believe is that the telemarketer was talking to you all that time and didn't hang up - I mean, he/she has other calls to do. Are you sure it was a telemarketer and not one of your friends setting you up?

Turkbear,
do not give a reason and just say goodbye ...( we were trained to handle any reasons for declining)

Were you also trained to deal with the 3 major reasons I give?

1.Sorry, I am not interested. Bye.

2.Sorry, I don't have time to talk to you.
TM: Can I call you some other time when you are not so busy?
No. I never have time. Sorry. Bye.

3.Sorry, I can't make a desicion like that myself. I have to discuss it with my husband, and he is not home. (And he usually says that he has to discuss it with his wife.) Bye.

 

[Turkbear]

Hi,
The last one was the easiest - ( especially if talking to a man)..

"Gee I'm sorry you do not have the power to make decisions on your own..your wife must not have much faith in your abilities...Does she also pick out what you wear?"

If they did not hang up in indignation, I had them...

1 and 2 are just as good as 'No Thanks', as long as you are firm and hang up..





To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[Stella740pl]

"Gee I'm sorry you do not have the power to make decisions on your own..your wife must not have much faith in your abilities...Does she also pick out what you wear?"

If they did not hang up in indignation, I had them...

So far, we've never heard a marketer smart enough or rude enough to tell something like that to a potential client.

But this response is good to get men with self-confidence problems; they will want to prove something to you.
But you don't know my husband. He won't have problem to say something even more sarcastic to you; or to tell you that yes, his wife does have that power; or that we make only joint decisions; or, possibly, something else.

But never, ever, no matter what they tell him, no one has sold anything to him that he didn't initiate. He is an exceptionally resistant to sales pitches and all other kinds of BS. I used to be less resistant, but learned better over a course of a few years.

But what can you do if a woman tells you she wants to discuss it with her husband?