light hearted relief 18

[gurner]

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and 1 to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

... another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

 

[jrbarnett]

Have a couple more on me:

Q: How many object programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. You just send a change bulb message to the socket object!

Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!

John

 

[BakeMan]

And you forget at least on post saying "I remember the good old days before light bulbs. All of you young programmers are spoiled."

BAKEMAN

 

[onpnt]

suggests a new forum?!?

"Where is the Light Bulb Going In The Next 5 Years"



1H 1K 10 3D 3F 3E 3K 38 3J 10 1T 10 3G 3L 3I 35 10 35 3O 33 35 3C 3C 35 3E 33 35

2 more days

 

[palbano]

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change it to what? Please read the FAQ about how to ask a good question.

-pete

 

[RickSpr]

I am new with light bulb. How do I make it the light bulb to change quickly? I turn left her whole, so then she apart come, ok. But when I move her in a new lamp and turn her right whole, she stay darkly. Is light bulb corrupted?

Rick Sprague
Want the best answers? See faq181-2886
To write a program from scratch, first create the universe. - Paraphrased from Albert Einstein

 

[Marcs41]

her ? Are you trying to fit a female bulb into a male socket?
That won't work, that is not a very bright move!

 

[BadBigBen]

oh, my... a little fried rice wouldn't be to bad at this point, but make it clumpy, no Uncle Ben's that falls through a fork, cuz I am using just one single stick, can't remember where I put the other one, to eat the rice... *g

hey wait a min I thought this forum was about LightBulbs not rice... or can you get the Rice to glow aswell?

btw... the standard 220v doesn't exist anymore it's been upped to 230v, so that english appliances work with out a hitch in the rest of Europe... but that still doesn't explain how you would safely change a light bulb...

you see there are voltage things to concider and one should wear eyeprotection and insulating gloves to do this... remember with sunglasses you can't see in the dark...

BakeMan - yeah, I do remember the days without lightbulbs... darn wax dripped all over me and my girlfriend cuz I forgot to pay the bill... or was that something else she had in mind at the time?

Ben

 

[sleipnir214]

greyted:
A bad joke back at you:

Q. What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A. You can unscrew a light bulb.


[WARNING]
If you are going to repeat this joke, keep in mind my two following observations:[ol][li]As a general rule, men find this joke funnier than women[/li][li]As a general rule, pregnant women don't find this joke funny at all, particularly near the end of the 3[sup]rd[/sup] trimester. As least, my wife didn't.[/li][/ol]

Want the best answers? Ask the best questions:

http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html

TANSTAAFL!!

 

[cdogg]

sleipnir214,
A big fan of My Blue Heaven with Steve Martin, eh?


...and let's not forget 5 to stray off-topic!


~cdogg
[tab]"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources"
[tab][tab]- A. Einstein

 

[SPguru]

sleipnir214, great joke! Gets a star!

 

[greyted]

sleipnir214,
Thanks for that, very good.

What is the opposite of Light bulb?

Heavy bulb or Dark bulb?

A tired thought at 02-00 BST



Ted

"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity."
Benjamin Disraeli.

 

[LesleyW]

One to post a link to an inspirational poster -

http://www.despair.com/demotivators/cluelessness.html

 

[sha76]

Can't believe you've missed out the poster telling us all it's a very complex issue which you'll definitely need a consultant to provide a solution for. Luckily he just happens to be a highly experienced consultant in this field (& many, many others), so please do contact him. Traditionaly this post should appear after the simplest solution has been clearly stated at least twice.

Sharon

 

[Zelandakh]

NEWS!

Light Bulb 2.0 has been released as of 08-04-03 (that's the 4th August for people who don't read American dates). It is now universally compatible with all systems unless you happen to have a PC. Microsoft are releasing a patch called "Service Pack 4 Lite" shortly, but will all users note that Light Bulb 2.0 will currently only run if you post to this forum repeatedly.

The new Light Bulb 2.0 may not be installed over Light Bulb 1.0, Light Bulb 1.0 must be removed from your system first.

There is no upgrade path from version 1.0 to version 2.0 - you must purchase a full version of 2.0.

All Unix users should note that Light Bulb 1.0 and 2.0 do not create multiple processes of themselves and must be installed individually.


Careful note - do not read this forum while installing Light Bulb (any version) as the mirth involved could cause a potentially dangerous flood / electrocution.

And 4 members to post their annoyance with the TT management for not getting back to them immediately...

 

[MikeLacey]

I've got a consultant joke somewhere (unsurprising, me being one) but I can't twist it to have *anything* to do with light bulbs, so I won't post it here.

There you go - a, completely useless, off-topic post that apologises for being off-topic No long thread is complete without one.

Mike

Want to get great answers to your Tek-Tips questions? Have a look at faq219-2884

It's like this; even samurai have teddy bears, and even teddy bears get drunk.

 

[dwarfthrower]

NEWSFLASH: The RIAA (Righteous Illumination Assosciation of America) is issuing subpoenas to anybody found to be using light from lightbulbs they themselves have not purchased. The RIAA also seeks to eliminate the now popular technology used for peer-to-peer light-sharing known as "rooms".

 

[Marcs41]

Crackers are fast, there is already a cracked Light Bulb 2.0 a several illegal crack servers. Hurry to

http://www.LightBulbCrack.now

to download you copy.
A free Light version is also available, uses less power, but there is are random adds on the bulbs.

 

[benlinkknilneb]

...I'm a little surprised; 90-something responses, and nobody's talked about the spammers running from house to house randomly shining high-powered flashlights on people who just wanted to use a lamp occasionally... I know I get wayyy too much unsolicited light in my house!

 

[psbsmms]

A "REAL Forum member doesn't try and change the light bulb they accept it for what it is!

 

[sleipnir214]

And don't forget the requisite user who will post a question asking how to use a light bulb to drive a nail into a piece of wood.

Said user will then take great umbrage at the idea that the reason he's broken 15 light bulbs is that he's using them in a way they were never intended to be used.

Said user will then also refuse to take any advice on better tools to drive nails, stating that he understands light bulbs and he doesn't care to learn a new technology -- like hammers.

After umpteen followups trying to get anyone to give him his preferred answer, the user will then storm off in a huff, muttering darkly in his exiting post, "I know I've read somewhere this technology will do this."

Two years later that same user will post a followup to his own original thread, specifying some arcane Zen Master technique he learned in a Tibetan monastery that will, one time out of 50, actually allow you to make a dimple in a piece of wood with a nail by driving it with a light bulb. Said user will triumphantly state in this post, "See! I was right!", and never respond to further posts on the thread that hammers will do the same thing 50 times out of 50.

Want the best answers? Ask the best questions:

http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html

TANSTAAFL!!