light hearted relief 18

[gurner]

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and 1 to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

... another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

 

[BadBigBen]

MDXer got it almost right... it starts Fridays at 1700 hrs until Mondays at 0600 hrs (then I get a little sleep say about an hour)... after and before that I have to slave in order to pay for the new LB 2.1 for Windoze...

darn, I've seen the Light, I just found LINUX, strangely it's been installed all along, including Gluehbirne 2.0 (some strange german prog which is like LightBulb 2.1)...

Ben

 

[MDXer]

maybe for you but My flight lands at 11pm Friday and I start packing for my return trip to work 11pm Sunday.

"Shoot Me! Shoot Me NOW!!!"
- Daffy Duck

 

[palbano]

14 programmer posts that ask: "I don't know how to use light bulb, socket and switch. It's to complicated. Is there anyway to change a light bulb into a flashlight so i can produce the light i need?".

-pete

 

[MDXer]

If I get a larger socket and plug can I increase the speed of light?

"Shoot Me! Shoot Me NOW!!!"
- Daffy Duck

 

[BakeMan]

You must upgrade the lightbulb's memory and processor to increase the speed of light.

BAKEMAN

 

[KornGeek]

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

I've determined that it only requires two (although more can be used). Can anybody help me figure out how to get the forum members into the lightbulb in the first place?

 

[lespaul]

I think to get the forum members into the light bulb requires the Filament Add-on!

Leslie
landrews@metrocourt.state.nm.us

There are 10 types of people in the world -
those who understand binary
and
those who don't!

 

[tjl99a1]

If you increase the speed of the light won't that cause a clocking problem, a warping???? I guess it's all relative

 

[jancebk]

What about when you have multiple light bulbs running in Windows and then all of a sudden a big blue glow emits from the screen? I can't do a thing unless I turn off all the lights and start over.

 

[lespaul]

I believe that the 'big blue glow' is an indication of a warped lightbulb caused, as tjl99a1 mentioned, by increasing the speed of light and mucking up the clock!

 

[greyted]

sleipnir214,
Another bad joke for you.

Q. How many mediators does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Well, let's unpack that shall we?

First of all, let's be clear that it isn't the mediator's function to change the light bulb.

The mediator will explore with the light bulb how it feels about the on and off nature of its job, its unhappiness at always having to work nights, and its relationships with the other parties, including the new light bulbs that it feels are a threat to its position.

The mediator will talk to the new light bulbs, reframing and normalizing their observation that the principal light bulb is completely out of its box, and identifying that their real issue is that being picked on one at a time constantly undermines their team spirit.

The darkness seems quite hostile to all the light bulbs and keeps telling them to go and unscrew themselves. The mediator will allow it to vent its anger and express its distress at how it always feels unwanted.

The mediator will help guide the darkness and the light bulbs, both new and mature, to a solution reflecting their new understanding of each other.

Bright sparks will realise that you'll have to be left in the dark now because the final outcome is confidential.



Ted

"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity."
Benjamin Disraeli.

 

[BIS]

... and finally:

http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/88old/bulb.html