light hearted relief 18

[gurner]

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and 1 to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

... another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

 

[GlenJohnson]

My God, it's full of stars!

Glen A. Johnson
Johnson Computer Consulting
MCP W2K
glen@johnsoncomputers.us


Want to get great answers to your Tek-Tips questions? Have a look at FAQ219-2884
"The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it."
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900); Anglo-Irish playwright.

 

[Marcs41]

How did you know it was my Birthday ?
That brightens my day.

But anyhow, light bulbs should be banned, they can be used as a weapon

 

[Error7]

This thread is for screw-in light bulbs only!

Phil Lament

 

[dwarfthrower]

Is there a conversion utility to turn a bayonet light-bulb into a screw-in? Where can I download it? Can it do batch processing?

 

[KenCunningham]

No conversion utility afaik, but I'm sure I read about a switch somewhere which might work. And why are they called bayonet anyway when they're not long, pointy and attached to a gun?

Ed. E. Son

 

[BadBigBen]

Hola,

I've got a foreign light bulb (pardon the grammar)... does anyone have a translationg to this thingy and can it be used in a PC made in the USA, running W2K installed for a Canadian?

Ben

PS - BTW KenCunningham - a bayonetknive (dagger) is attached to a gun but it is called that because of it's locking mechanism... ergo a Snap-On (tm)...

PSS - can anyone translate this into Cantonese?

 

[KenCunningham]

BigBadBen. Thanks for the info. I guess I should have Googled eh? Do you want fried rice with your Cantonese? I just knew this was going to be a long day! ;-)

 

[Marcs41]

Hmm, problem, I have an older model of light bulb which I just patched. Now, whenever I turn it on, the phone rings twice (needless to say, no-one there).
When I switch it off, the doorbell sounds also twice (again, no-one there).
Do I have a virus in my light bulb, or is it just a wrong patch? If so, can I downgrade it?

It is really annoying, since it is the toilet-light. Every time I want to go, I have to run to pick up the phone, but when I then switch off the light, the doorbell goes at the same time. It is really getting difficult, I can't make it to the toilet anymore!

URGENT help required !!!

 

[greyted]

sleipnir214,
Another bad joke for you.

Q: How many surealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Fish.


Ted

"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity."
Benjamin Disraeli.

 

[Error7]

>BadBigBen

If your foreign light bulb is 110 volt and you want to use it on 220 volt, then just throw the switch half way!

If the bulb is 220 and you are on 110 then exchange it for a bulb with double the wattage to compensate.

Alternatively you could plant your bulb in the garden in December and hope that it it doubles in size by the Spring.

 

[Gatorajc]

20 - How do get the light bulb to be seen by the search engines?

100 - What resolution is the light best seen at?



AJ


If at first you do not succeed, cheat!

 

[CosmoKramer]

Q - How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

A- Eight. One to change the bulb, and seven to ensure Microsoft gets $2 every time a light bulb is changed anywhere in the world.





A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Douglas Adams

 

[rburke]

My light bulb got HACKED!!!! PLEASE HELP, I NEED HELP!!!

(of course no information is provided and we are supposed to just "know" the answer)


Burke

 

[CajunCenturion]

I just wanted to thank you all for your help.

Finally, I see the light!!!

Good Luck
--------------
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[BIS]

I must say that this whole thread has been highly illuminating.

 

[Gatorajc]

I found it to be a light hearted discussion.

AJ


If at first you do not succeed, cheat!

 

[frozenpeas]

*cricket* *cricket*

frozenpeas

 

[CosmoKramer]

After reading all of this, I'm feeling a little light-headed.



A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Douglas Adams

 

[CajunCenturion]

Uh Oh, I guess the light I saw was an oncoming train.

Good Luck
--------------
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[carp]

I called light ballb support and they told me to try turning on the switch. I've looked all over my light ballb and don't see a switch. Where can I get one? The only switch I have is on the wall and I think it's broken - when I turn it on the wall just sits there.