Job titles... 2

[stackdump]

A young friend of the family recently got a part-time job to help fund his studies at college (which I admire incidentally). The job is helping a van driver to deliver orders for a well known electrical retailer. Basically he's the young guy you normally see clinging onto the other end of the box as the older guy wrestles it through your doorway (usually also holding the delivery note in his teeth). His job title is "Retail Distribution Operative".

So just for fun, do you have an elaborate job title for something that's a bit more modest than it sounds?

Looking at the evening newspaper, I also saw 'Reclamation, Recycling and Sustainability Executive', which appears to be a job at a recycling center, removing nasty fluids from appliances.

 

[kjv1611]

Looks like this one is going down the toilet.
[flush]

 

[fugtruck]

I took a job as a "Network Administrator", but when I actually got into the position the duties was actually that of a junior level PC technician. The person who interviewed/hired me said that my responsibilities would be X, but when I actually started working the new boss was like, "What? Oh no. You won't be doing any of that." Needless to say, I was pretty mad at that place.

 

[2ffat]

I sometimes consider myself to be an "e-Janitor." Seems like when ever someone make a mess with computers, programs, data bases, and all things electronic, I'm the one that cleans up after them. :-(


James P. Cottingham
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[kjv1611]

Good one!

I think I'll put that on my resume!

 

[SantaMufasa]

My sister's business card is my favorite:[tt]
,---------------------------------------------,
| |
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| |
| |
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| <Sister's Name>, PHSD |
| |
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| |
`---------------------------------------------'[/tt]

Spoiler

Public High School Diploma

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
“Beware of those that seek to protect you from harm or risk. The cost will be your freedoms and your liberty.”

 

[Andrzejek]

My wife sometimes calls herself a "Domestic Engineer"

Have fun.

---- Andy

 

[zarkon4]

In the Air Force I was a "LGTO" Logistical Ground Transportation Operator aka "Driver"

They always had long titles for simple things, for example, they would ask during class for volunteers to be the Electrical Illumination Engineer (Who's going to turn th lights on and off)

 

[SamBones]

...for example, they would ask during class for volunteers to be the Electrical Illumination Engineer (Who's going to turn th lights on and off)

I always thought that was the Photon Distribution Manager.

 

[dkediger]

I occasionally like to err to the other extreme and use the title "Unskilled Peon."

 

[DTSMAN]

I enjoyed the movie Office Space and remembered this website for creating job titles.

http://www.bullshitjob.com/title/

Bo

Remember,
If the women don't find you handsome,
they should at least find you handy.
(Red Green)

http://www.redgreen.com

 

[j0ckser]

i don't really care what they call my position, just as long as they pay me.

i also don't care what they call me, as long as they don't call me late for dinner.

when i do own up to being a technical writer, nobody knows what that means anyway, so i self-style my position as wordsmith doctor.

per ardua ad astra

 

[razalas]

When I was in college, I worked at the computer center part-time. There was a senior consultant on staff whose title was "Resident Genius", even had the business cards to prove it. He pretty much was and pretty much worked on whatever projects interested him.

Code what you mean,
and mean what you code!
But by all means post your code!

Razalas

 

[philhege]

Yeah, the "engineer" thing. Our firm did a job title reset. It was based on our actual responsibilities and how they matched up with the Dept. of Labor job listing.

So, Uncle Sam thinks I'm an engineer, but I don't.

-------++NO CARRIER++-------

 

[BobRodes]

This isn't a job title, but it's still funny. When I was selling computers back at ComputerLand in the 80's, I sold 7 Macs to a guy from the Veteran's hospital. To avoid the political vagaries of the government IT equipment procurement bureaucracy, we invoiced him for "Asbestos Remediation Equipment", which was in fact what he was using the computers for.

 

[LFCfan]

Heard a new one today:
Vision Enhancement = window cleaning!

~LFCfan
Short stories, mainly in fantasy/SF settings.
Come along and tell me what you think of the worlds I build!