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Accepting help does not make a person a manipulator. In fact, as MDXer pointed out, often times the assistance is earned through ability, work ethic, etc.
The flips side of this is that a talented person who completely lacks social skills will also have a difficult time advancing. Offending and/or alienating others will not get you very far.
I do have one question about Huntsman: Why would a supposedly honest man ever work for Richard Nixon?
HUNTSMAN: No, I did work in the Nixon White House, and it was a great honor, I might add. It was during Nixon`s first term, and I`d been in the Department of Health, Education and Welfare. I was asked by Bob Hall to shift into the White House as White House staff secretary and special assistant to the president.
And when I was there, Bob Haldeman, of course, was my -- was my mentor and boss. And Bob came in one day and he said, "Jon, we want you to make a phone call to one of your plants out in California, your manufacturing plants, because we`re looking at somebody who we`re going to appoint to a senior position."
And -- and so I made the phone call. And then he came in a little later and he said, "Now we have the opposition. The other party`s candidate is going to put someone up for an office, and we`re looking to clear their candidate. And we want to get all the dirty material we can on this person. Your plant is located near them out in Southern California. Will you call your manager and check out all the negative information you can on this person?"
And my instincts told me immediately, do what your boss tells you to do. Go forward and do whatever it is to move up the organization ladder. In this case it was the White House staff. It could be the corporate staff. It could be a small business, could be anything, Glenn.
And so I immediately went to the phone. That`s our visceral reaction, I think, as human beings, to go immediately and do what we`re asked to do. And so I made the phone call, and right during the phone call, the thought occurred to me -- I think my moral compass kicked in, because we each have a moral compass. We`re given it by God. We have it at birth. Every human being, irrespective of their religion, their background, their nationality, they have this great moral compass that kicks in and they know what`s right and what`s wrong. They may not think they have it, but they have it.
And I thought to myself, what am I doing? I`m asking my civilian associates to go look at -- find some dirt on some people in the opposing political party.
And so I said immediately, "Jim, forget I ever called. Don`t do what I asked you to do. This is wrong. Forget it. I`m sorry I called."
I think it was the moral compass kicking in.
By working hard, doing quality work, having a positive attitude, demonstrating ability, helping others, etc.This is a good point. How does one get a good reputation? How does one get people to speak positively of them?
Actually, the quote was in reference to people who have received help to get jobs. The point had nothing to do with your nephew.The point is that people help him, and it appears that he gives very little in return.
Again, your logic is flawed. Nothing of the sort was proven. Just because people who lack social skill fail to get ahead does not in any way prove, indicate, or even imply that those who get ahead use manipulation. What it implies is that those who get ahead posess social skills.You have just proven my point. All successful manipulators have good social skills. Most people who have good social skills use them to manipulate others.
The very fact that you study manipulation may best explain your position. I would guess that either you believe that manipulation is the solution, thus you study it to be better at it, and/or you study it thus you see it where it might not necessarily exist.Based on what I have studied on manipulation,...
Shoalcreek, we don't need to "actually know something about--people we know in person" to discern their integrity, their characteristics as a person. As Huntsman said in the Glenn Beck interview:Shoalcreek said:I think this debate would be better served by incorporating examples of people that we actually know something about--people we know in person, not people we read about in newspapers.
My moral compass has told me a great deal about the people who have participated in this thread, without my ever having met them personally. I can tell, by the statements people have made here, and the questions they have asked here, which people I could, or could not, trust in important situations.Huntsman said:...we each have a moral compass. We`re given it by God. We have it at birth. Every human being, irrespective of their religion, their background, their nationality, they have this great moral compass that kicks in and they know what`s right and what`s wrong. They may not think they have it, but they have it.
The guy refused a request of the POTUS' Chief of Staff when that request went against his moral sense. While that's not direct evidence of honesty, I would accept it as a telling view into his general character.
the skill of finding the right job is more important than the ability to do the work
Actually, what most IT professions do is, DO their job.shoalcreek said:That is what most IT professionals do. They interview for jobs. They look for jobs. They have to convince people to promote them or give them raises. They sometimes find themselves out of work.
In many cases in IT, a person has to move out in order to move up. On a personal note, four of my past employers have either been bought or have went out of business. Often, the IT professional finds himself unemployed through no fault of his own.
In an industry which often has frequent job changes, the skill of finding the right job is more important than the ability to do the work anyway. Nothing is more important than the skill of job interviewing, and this is where being a good manipulator is absolutely critical.
When you own a business, you never have a performance review
Based solely on your narrative, a big change occurred when MM came back into your life. That very positive change was reflected in your attitude, your body language, and probably your behavior. You were happy. You probably smiled more, had more patience, and in general, were nicer around people.
I think that's why people started to treat you differently. That's why you got better service and earned more respect. That's why people seemed to like having you around.
More than anything, it's attitude and treating others with respect.
It's not enough to know your job and be really good at it...I've had that. When a system failed, they want me here to fix it, no doubt. But when a user is having trouble to format an Excel spreadsheet properly they should want me there as well.