Favorite Quotes 19

[BJCooperIT]

Many of us here at TT have quotes in our signature lines. Some funny, some profound (like CC's) and some personal. The problem I have is that I do not have the time, or inclination, to change the quote in my signature on a regular basis. That being said, I would like to post another of my favorite quotes:

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
Doug Larson (1902-1981), English Racer

So true in this business. Your favorites?

[sup]Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.[/sup][sup] ~George Bernard Shaw[/sup]
Consultant Developer/Analyst Oracle, Forms, Reports & PL/SQL (Windows)
My website: www.EmuProductsPlus.com

 

[LARiot]

I'm your density...

George McFly to Lorraine - Back to the Future.

 

[Gooser]

The missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this
because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is from
where it isn't (Or where it isn't from where it is, depending on
which is the greater) it obtains a difference or deviation. The
inertial guidance system use deviations to generate corrective
commands to drive the missile from the position where it is to the
position where it isn't. The missile arrives at the position
where it wasn't, consequently the position where it was is now the
position where it isn't. In the event that the position where it
is now is not the same as the position where it originally wasn't
the system has acquired a variation, (variations are caused by
external factors and the discussion of these factors is not
considered to be within the scope of this report) the variation
being the difference between where the missile is and where the
missile wasn't. If the variation is considered to be a
significant factor it too may be corrected by the inertial
guidance system. Moreover, the missile must now know where it
was also. The "Thought Process" of the missile is as follows:
Because a variation has modified some of the information which the
missile had obtained, it is not sure where it is. However, it is
sure where it isn't and it knows where it was. It now subtracts
where it should be from where it wasn't (or vice versa) and by
differentiating this from the algebraic difference between where
it shouldn't be and where it was, it is able to obtain the
difference between it's deviation and it's variation, this
difference being called the Error.

The audio of this is hilarious, Google it.

--Gooser

 

[SantaMufasa]

By subtracting where it is from where it isn't...it obtains a...deviation.

So, does subtracing where I am from I am not, does that make me a deviant?


And I've always wondered...If I am one standard deviation away from normal, does that make me a standard deviant, or am I a non-standard deviant?

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[BJCooperIT]

From Lawrence Peter Berra AKA "Yogi Berra"

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

[sup]Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.[/sup][sup] ~George Bernard Shaw[/sup]
Consultant Developer/Analyst Oracle, Forms, Reports & PL/SQL (Windows)
My website: www.EmuProductsPlus.com

 

[KenCunningham]

From this guy on Saturday:

http://www.johnsmeaton.com/

Glesgae doesn't accept this sort of behaviour!

I want to be good, is that not enough?

 

[SantaMufasa]

Wha...Wha...What'd he say? Glaswegians are in a linguistic worl' o' the' ayn, aye?

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[thekl0wn]

This quote has nothing to do with professionalism, and actually comes from my town's funniest drunkard:

I haven't drank all my brain cells away. I still have two left... The one that tells me to breath, and the one that tells me how to tie my shoes. With how good the beer's flowing tonight, I may have to find me some velcro work boots!

 

[ncotton]

Power is nothing without precision

Go the extra mile, it is never crowded there

Accept what is usefull, reject what is useless, and develop, what is essentially your own

Neil J Cotton
Technical Consultant
Anix Group Ltd

 

[thefourthwall]

I read recently that once during a campaign stop, Abraham Lincoln was making a speech and got interrupted by a heckler who shouted:

"Tell the folks what's on your mind, Abe, it won't take long!"

to which Abraham Lincoln responded:

"Why don't you come up here, sir. I'll tell them what's on both our minds -- it won't take any longer!"

 

[thefourthwall]

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those you know and those you don't know yet

 

[flapeyre]

Albert Einstein, explaining how radio works:

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.

 

[thefourthwall]

(flapeyre)

(Enstein)...there is no cat.

Is that like "there is no spoon"? ;-)

 

[flapeyre]

There is a spoon, but I can't use it because it has the curved side upward.

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.

 

[thefourthwall]

From a link found when googling the missile guidance audio:
The awesome, dreaded [!]Turboencabulator![/!]

 

[ncotton]

FourthWall

I thought that was

"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary numeracy and those who dont"

Neil J Cotton
Technical Consultant
Anix Group Ltd

 

[thefourthwall]

ncotton

I thought that was

"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary numeracy and those who dont"

I'd never actually heard your version before. They're both amusing, imho.

 

[deepgrewal22]

Thank God I'm an Atheist!

It's bad luck to be superstitious.

Deep Grewal
"Microsoft Works" - oxymoron

 

[ascotta]

Ho Santa whi' ur youze uptae. Hmm? Kwestyunin us gleswegyins. Wherr ur you goin wi' tha' a'll get Smeato on tae youze in a jiffy ma man.

Pyoor kwali'y man.

If it wiznae fur yer welleeze wherr wid ye be, oh
Yood be in rahospital or infirmaree.

[blue] A perspective from the other side!![/blue]

Cheers
Scott

 

[SantaMufasa]

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.


(Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University)

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.



[Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)]

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you.

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.

Talk is cheap ... except when Congress does it.

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[flapeyre]

In the book Cheaper By the Dozen, Frank Gilbreath and family (wife and twelve children) are driving along, when a young punk calls out:

Hey, Noah, whatcha doin' with that Ark?

To which Mr. Gilbreath replied:

Collecting animals like the Good Lord told me. All I need now is a jackass. Hop in.

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.