Ways to wind up tele sales people 13

[MeGustaXL]

Brringg-Brringg!

Me: Yellow?

Cold Caller: Hi, can I speak to Mister ...er.. [mispronounce my easy-to-say surname]?

Me: Speaking!

CC: If I could save you 80 pounds a month on your phone bills, would you say that was a good deal?

Me: Yes

CC: How much do you spend on mobile phone calls per month?

Me: Nothing

CC: Excuse me? How much?

Me: [trying to keep smile from voice] Nothing. Zero.

CC: Well, I have a fantastic offer for you then! You get the Whiz-Bang Latest Model Phone, 1,000 free texts and 500 free minutes, all at the incredible introductory price of 15 pounds 80 for the first three months! Can I take your details?

Me: No. Are you saying that I'd have to pay 15 pounds for things which are free anyway, and which I already do not have any use for?

CC: Would you like that by overnight delivery for an extra three pounds fifty?

Me:

Etc. etc... Until boredom sets in

Chris

Rule One: NEVER volunteer - My Dad

 

[aarenot]

i heard it on a voicemail myself is where i got it from, and it is a great icebreaker to combat the fear of change thing that is so present with new technology. it gets everyone to laugh, and creates a more relaxed, this may be fun attitude.

 

[jrbarnett]

Here's one I had earlier:
Phone: Ring Ring
Cold Caller: Can I speak to jrbarnett please (pronounced correctly)?
Me: Speaking
Cold Caller: I'm from ABC limited. We sent you a leaflet about buying wines about 3 months ago. Do you remember receiving it?
Me: No I don't
Cold Caller: Well, we provide investment opportunities in fine wines.
Me (interrupting): Well, I'm teetotal so there's no point trying to sell me anything containing alcohol. Its quite likely that your brochure was received but thrown away because of this.
Cold Caller: I'm teetotal as well. We don't sell wines to drink, we sell them as an investment.
Me (interrupting again): I'm not interested unless you donate them to me which I can then sell back to you for an immediate profit. Goodbye.
(hangs up)

John

 

[KornGeek]

I had an interesting call the other day:

Me: Hello?
CC: May I speak with [wife's name]?
Me: May I ask who's calling?
CC: This is [CC's name] calling on behalf of [some credit card company].
Me: This is [wife's clearly feminine name].
CC: Hello, sir. I'm calling to offer you... (I tuned out here)
Me: No, thank you. I'm not interested.
CC: Do you mind telling me why?
Me: Quite frankly, I find calls like this rather annoying and don't believe anything you tell me. For instance, what company do you work for?
CC: I'm calling on behalf of [some credit card company].
Me: That's not what I asked. Do you actually work for [some credit card company]?
CC: No.
Me: What company do you work for? What company actually gives you your paycheck?
CC: Sir, we're not allowed to give out any personal information.
Me: Exactly my point. At this point, I wouldn't trust you to mow my lawn, let alone handle my finances.
CC: Have a good day. (click)

 

[MeGustaXL]

Flaming Hellfire KornGeek! I thought this thread was meant to discuss ways to wind these poor brainless morons up, not to insult what remains of their limited integrity!



Chris

Rule Two: What's in it for me? - My Dad

 

[Ladyazh]

Have you ever seen job posting for the telemarketers? What does it say? Can we improvise?

 

[KornGeek]

I have a friend who has worked in several different sales positions. Often, when he has gone to an interview for "Inside Sales", he finds what they really mean is "Soulless Telemarketing".