The Platypus Database 2

[lespaul]

Some of you may have seen my threads mentioning the database I use. It's an AS400, that , as I told my husband, was not designed and developed; it was evolved and it's the platypus of databases. Our court has been using the AS400 for about 20 years. There are hundreds of RPG programs and everytime someone had to develop a new application, if there wasn't a table that had the information a new one would be created that had all the needed information. It didn't matter that there were already tables that had 3/4 of the information. So now we have this platypus database that is unnormalized and no plans in the future to do anything about it.

This really bugs me. I was taught the relational database model and always found the logic of normalization came very easily. Of course, the plus side (can always find one!) is that my SQL skills have increased greatly in order to extract the proper information from my platypus.

Is this situation rare or do any of you have to deal with a platypus?

Leslie

 

[ssecca]

Well I must admit I had to look that word up, but now that I have I still am not sure which meaning would best apply.

1 a capitalized : a fire-breathing she-monster in Greek mythology having a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail b : an imaginary monster compounded of incongruous parts
2 : an illusion or fabrication of the mind; especially : an unrealizable dream <a fancy, a chimera in my brain, troubles me in my prayer -- John Donne>
3 : an individual, organ, or part consisting of tissues of diverse genetic constitution
(From Merriam-Webster online dictionary

http://www.m-w.com)

 

[MDXer]

I vote the fire-breathing she-monster.

&quot;Shoot Me! Shoot Me NOW!!!&quot;
- Daffy Duck

 

[lespaul]

I'll go with that too, wait a minute - you're not talking about me are you??!! A fire-breathing she-dragon??? That's not VERY nice!!! LOL

 

[sleipnir214]

I was actually thinking in the sense of a more generalized version of definition 3.

The word also has an adjectival form, &quot;chimeric&quot;, which has a nice sound as used in the current topic: a chimeric database.

Want the best answers? Ask the best questions:

http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html

TANSTAAFL!!

 

[jrbarnett]

<more sarcasm>
Wouldn't &quot;mess&quot; be a better description
</more sarcasm>

John

 

[sleipnir214]

It would be easier to spell -- but it lacks a certain flair. Not to mention that the straights would know what we're talking about too readily.

Want the best answers? Ask the best questions:

http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html

TANSTAAFL!!

 

[DarenNM]

The problem is, those people who use buzzwords without understanding what they mean would seize on the phrase &quot;chimeric database&quot;. It wouldn't be long before some marketing/sales person started promising the customer the &quot;latest&quot; in database technology and before you know it, you are being asked to design and implement a chimeric database.

We should try dropping the phrase here and there and see how far it spreads


Must think of a witty signature

 

[lespaul]

Oh, god please shoot me now! (stealing MDXer's tag line!) but please shoot me if someone WANTS to develop a chimeric database!

Daren - is that NM for New Mexico?

Leslie

 

[MDXer]

You could charge a hefty fee to develop a &quot;chimeric database&quot; and would have to put very little effort into actually designing or building the database. just write up the description and functionality of the database in pure techno speak so that the layman is clueless as to what he is asking for.


&quot;Shoot Me! Shoot Me NOW!!!&quot;
- Daffy Duck

 

[sleipnir214]

MDXer:
I've seen some database projects that convince me you're not the first one to think of it.

Want the best answers? Ask the best questions:

http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html

TANSTAAFL!!

 

[DarenNM]

Leslie

'N' and 'M' are my last two initials - I live in the UK (not sure what the time difference is where you are. It's nearly 11pm here).

MDXer

I like the way you think. I'm not sure I could do it though - I probably wouldn't be able to stop myself from laughing.




Must think of a witty signature

 

[MDXer]

hey your not working at any of my past companies are you?

&quot;Shoot Me! Shoot Me NOW!!!&quot;
- Daffy Duck

 

[lespaul]

Well, since I do live in NM (New Mexico) it's a first assumption!

There's a 7 hour difference (figured that out this weekend watching the British Open!). It's about 4:00 pm here and I'm heading home!!

Leslie

 

[DarenNM]

I don't think I'm working at any of your past companies MDXer. If you let me have a list, I'll give them my best &quot;Mega-bucket Mainframe-enabled Chimeric Database&quot; sales pitch

That's a reasonable assumption Leslie I, however, am heading for sleep! Good night/afternoon all.


Must think of a witty signature

 

[SQLSister]

I have to laugh at these last few entries becasue when i read the word chimeric database, I thought that some marketing guy would love to name some COTS software that.

Buy the Chimeric database - designed the way we felt like it at the time. More complex than Oracle, yet more laggard than Access.

Ah yes a great marketing slogan!

 

[MDXer]

The Chimeric Database

Finally a database that can be constructed or used by the non technical. With knowledge of a few basic commands anyone can create and use the Chimeric Database. Users and and Database designers no longer need to suffer the efforts spent on data normalization or industry best practices. Yes the chimera database finally allows people to create a database as they believe it should be.

Chimeric Database is trademarked by FedUp DBAS LLC.


&quot;Shoot Me! Shoot Me NOW!!!&quot;
- Daffy Duck

 

[carp]

Do we need to form a commitee to define an ANSI standard for chimera? Of course the standard would be very short:
&quot;The database must conform to no single standard.&quot;

 

[sleipnir214]

Including the ANSI Standard for Chimeric databases?

Want the best answers? Ask the best questions:

http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html

TANSTAAFL!!

 

[carp]

And that's the beauty of it - if a database conforms to the ANSI Chimeric standard, then it violates the standard. Therefore, it can't be supported!

 

[SQLSister]

OOOOH I like this!