The Grass is Greener

[CajunCenturion]

I've been participating in this forum and its discussions for the past couple of years and it's amazing how many threads follow this template:

Question: I have this problem at work, and they proceed to present their case.
Responder(s): That's improper management, bad working environment, or poor co-workers. I think you should polish up your resume. It's time to move on.

What happens when you realize the grass is NOT greener on the other side?

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[Thadeus]

Well CC, I've found that the thread title is true for the most part. I've been able to refine what I'm looking for by moving from one "yard" to another over the years.

In my first position I realized that I needed benefits, I liked managing people and I prefer less direction and more responsibility...

So I moved on to find those things. Then I found that while I do enjoy managing people that budgeting sucks. I had benefits now and the grass was greener from that perspective. I also found that I needed a career path beyond the doors of that company... had I stayed I'd still be doing the same job today.

So I moved on and worked from home for a few years. That rocked and I found that I loved being able to help people in an applications support role for our customers. I also loved being remote. The only "less than green grass" there involved intricate documentation and lots of air travel... Needed to stop travelling so much, so I moved on.

I've made more moves then I just relayed, but the point being, my moves have helped me refine what I deem to be greener grass. As I achieve the new patch I continue to refine. I don't want to give the impression that I jump alot. I've been caught in down-sizing companies twice (once in the bush41 admin and once in the bush43 admin) and I've held some positions for 5+ years, but I also do look for greener pastures.

~Thadeus

 

[David]

What happens when you realize the grass is NOT greener on the other side?

It means that you own the company and sign your own paycheck. <grin>

Dave

 

[BJCooperIT]

What happens when you realize the grass is NOT greener on the other side?

You thank God you have a job that pays the bills.
You learn to appreciate what you have.
You hunker down and make your side of the fence home.

^{Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. ~George Bernard Shaw}
Consultant Developer/Analyst Oracle, Forms, Reports & PL/SQL (Windows)
My website: Emu Products Plus

 

[dkediger]

I see it as all boiling down to satisfaction/happiness. I see 2 parts to the phrase "The Grass is Greener..."

The first would be "The Grass," and I think Thadeus covered it nicely - essentially knowing yourself to the point of being able to pursue personal satisfaction.

The second is "The Green," and this is what trips folks up. Call it the pursuit of $ or prestige purely for $ or prestige's sake.

To keep in the turfcare realm, if you can focus on the grass, the payoff of the green follows. That's not to say that there won't be some re-seeding and weeding on the way. Focus on the green, and you find yourself using all manner of artifical means to achieve that.

 

[Thadeus]

[in my best Tommy Chong]Dude, man, so what you're saying dude, is to focus on the grass... whoa,man, that's profound![/Tommy Chong]

~Thadeus

...and no, Dave's not here

 

[dkediger]

 

[CajunCenturion]

All kidding aside, there seems to be some confustion about the question. You missed the point.

It is one thing for someone, such as Thadeus, who based on their own choices, actively seeks and moves towards the jobs they desire.

It is entirely different for someone who moves on, based on the advice of others, to escape an undesirable situation.

--------------
Good Luck
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read FAQ181-2886
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[Dollie]

Speaking from experience, the only reason the grass is greener on the other side is because the fertilizer (read: cow manure) is usually more abundant on the other side.

If you move on to another job based on the advice of others, and not by using the brain you've got between your own ears, I'd say that yes, you should move on because you can't think for yourself and the company really doesn't need that, regardless of how poor management/cow-orkers are acting.

/sorry, yet another day that I'm carrying my tact at the end of my sledgehammer

 

[dkediger]

Can't say that I have ever recommended/counseled to someone seriously (other than my wife) to switch jobs. I've supported others in a manner that was more letting them talk their options out, and play devil's advocate with those options; but never outright encouraged anyone to switch. It's simply too serious and personal of a decision to try to impose on someone.

It is a noticeable trend that CC has noted - a kind of cavalier attitude to encourage others to just chuck it in and look elsewhere.

 

[Dollie]

I think the noticeable trend is people logging on here and looking not for technical help, but help leaving their technical job because of some sort of unpleasantry, looking for justification of their feelings, and wanting only opinions that agree with their own.

When looking at a situation from just one side, it is easy to see why the situation is intolerable. However, we never get to see any other side to the situation. It could be that the person looking for advice is the one causing the problems, but because they have made a career of being a martyr, they don't see that they are the source.

Maybe a disclaimer should be posted when others are looking for resignation advice?

"Disclaimer: If you resign from your job for a stupid reason someone you don't know has stated, no one is at fault for that decision but you.

 

[Toshilap]

To me it all comes to a paycheck and realization that I have to MAKE my children to choose a right path so they will not have to live Mon-Fri 9-5 waiting for Friday night and hating Sundays because Monday will follow...

I finally got it all together and forgot where I put it.

 

[svanels]

Well when I started working an "old" wise veteran told me:
"Don't let your boss like you too much" because if you are good at something, you will be doomed to that forever.
Make yourself dispensable or redundant!!!
That way you are always available when something new at your side of the fence comes around. Seems to work.

Steven

 

[langleymass]

There is a lot of bad management in IT. This appeared on <techies.com> four years ago:

http://home.techies.com/Common/Content/2001/01/4career_lousymanagers.html

"A lousy manager" is what eight out of 10 employees called their immediate superior, in a 2001 survey by a Denver-based corporate coaching firm. That's up sharply from two years prior, when only about six out of 10 survey respondents pinned the "lousy" label on their manager....

 

[chiph]

I've noticed this pattern too. The OP usually has a huge long post that is an extended rant about how things are so bad where they are.

And, inevitably, someone says "just change jobs".

The problem is, the OP is just ranting, and is not prepared for a job change. They don't have a current resume, they don't have any savings, and they haven't got the necessary mental attitude to sell themselves to prospective companies.

It means that you own the company and sign your own paycheck. <grin>

Uh-oh. The boss lurks in these forums!

Chip H.


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[David]

Satisfaction with these forums is 98 3/4% guaranteed. This is much higher than the 20% satisfaction rating for our IT industry quoted above. <grin>

Dave

 

[MasterRacker]

I never thought about it but now that it's mentioned it is surprising to see how often the advice is to move on. Personally, I've never thought it was all that easy to move on.

I've also never thought it's easy to find greener grass. My theory is (being a cynic ;-) that BS is everywhere. Changing jobs simply means changing varieties of BS. The key is to look at yourself and determine what kinds of BS you handle best and what kinds you can't deal with. Then, you need to try and find an environment where the BS dished out butts up against your strongest BS defenses.

Sadly, even lottery winners have to deal with BS. Those who are continually jumping ship looking for utopia are going to end up dissapointed.



<sub>Jeff
[purple]It's never too early to begin preparing for [/purple]International Talk Like a Pirate Day

"The software I buy sucks, The software I write sucks. It's time to give up and have a beer..." - Me</sub>

 

[pmonett]

MasterRacker:

It has taken me a while, a decade actually, but I have come to realize the truth in your words. BS is indeed everywhere, so just learn to deal with it instead of trying to escape it.
Fighting it would be nice, but rare are those who are in a position to actually do so (and rarer still those who do so).

My position is now more along the line of : if they are willing to pay me to do and redo the same stupid things over and over again, I'll take my check and go home when the day is over.
I have a job, and I have a life. My job is something unpleasant that has to be done in order for me to have the means to get on with my life, which is infinitely more important to me.
If my job is sometimes pleasant, that's an added bonus.
Besides, if a job is always fun, it's called a hobby.

Pascal.

 

[Toshilap]

Changing jobs simply means changing varieties of BS?
I would say
Changing jobs simply means changing a price for which I will cont to take varieties of BS.

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I finally got it all together and forgot where I put it.

 

[Dollie]

Are that many people really unhappy with their jobs because of miscellaneous varieties of crap?

Just wondering because I've only been unhappy after finding out the boss was a crook, not because of working conditions being untolerable. Except at that one grocery store that I had to work at because it was a job and I desperately needed one. That was just awful.

(I'm over-generalizing, but am curious.)