Swearing that isn't 1

[MeGustaXL]

You know the situation; you've just driven a 4-inch nail through the web of skin between your thumb and forefinger, and hit yourself in the face with the clawhammer on the recoil! Your lovely Granny is watching and listening intently - how the Dickens do you express your pain and dismay at your own muttonheadedness!

I like to scream a selection of the following:

Flapping Bat!
Floating Boat!
You Sticking Ice-Hole

Any *BLEEP*ing others?

Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk

 

[AnotherHiggins]

Here's one that seems apropos given my publicly humiliating myself by using vein instead of vain: [attn]D'Oh![/attn]

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[rjoubert]

Since we're correcting other posts here...

...I have know people to sanctimoniously...

Don't you mean you have known people?

 

[SantaMufasa]

No, I meant to say

...I have knowed people...

...Thanks for checking.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]

 

[mjldba]

I find the intensity of the swearing is generally commeasurate to the intensity of the pain I'm in and the duration of both is about the same.

When it comes to swearing (of the pseudo variety), no one was better than Darren McGavin in "A Christmas Story" when he was thawing-out the frozen Oldsmobile motor or when trying to get the furnace working.

Narrator: "My father used expletives as a Grand Master worked in oils".

 

[Lunatic]

I find the intensity of the swearing is generally commeasurate to the intensity of the pain I'm in and the duration of both is about the same.

Same for me, however what I find extremely funny is my father, who is a general contractor, will shoot himself in the hand with a nail gun (well technically it hit a knot in the 2x4 and bent into his thumb and index finger) and utter only a single word of profanity.

Yet when he tries to install a cabinet he has built perfectly square, he will swear for 10 minutes when he goes to install it and finds out that (just like every other job) that the people who constructed the house did not construct it square or that it had settled over time and his perfectly square cabinet doesn't quite fit the way he wants (though us 'lay' people would never know the difference).

When that happens even the precence of my grandmother wouldn't stop the flow of swearing ;p

 

[jsaxe]

I love the Spanish word, "coño", a fairly mild expletive, I believe, but satisfying to say when required.

jsaxe

Mundus Vult Decipi

 

[Remou]

jsaxe
Have you got a Spanish dictionary handy?

 

[SantaMufasa]

Jsaxe and Remou,

"Coño" is slang and means different things in different Hispanic countries (kinda like "menudo" means very different things in different Hispanic countries). How, Jsaxe, do you mean "coño", since I doubt anyone will see it in any Spanish or Spanish/English dictionary?

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]

 

[stubnski]

Jsaxe or Santa,
As I am very uneducated in virtually all languages, out of curiosity what does the ~ in coño mean? How do you pronounce it with and without the ~?

Stubnski

 

[SantaMufasa]

Stubnski,

In Spanish, there are both "n" and "ñ" characters. The name for the former is pronounced (in English phonetics) an "en-eah" (like saying, in English, the letters "N-A".) The latter is named (in English phonetics) an "en-yeah".

To hear the differences in pronunciation, I'll use as illustrations, the two words: "Conan" and "Cognac". Of course, "Conan" derives from Gaelic and "Cognac" is from the region in France.

In Spanish, you would spell and pronounce the two words in this fashion:

Conan (prounced "Co-non") and
Coñac (pronound "Co-nyak")

Notice that we pronounce the "ñ" as a "nyuh" sound, whereas "n" we pronounce as a "nuh" sound.

Did this help?

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]

 

[flapeyre]

In fact, Santa, isn't there a Cañon City (pronounced like "canyon"), Colorado?

Feles mala! Cur cista non uteris? Stramentum novum in ea posui!

 

[stubnski]

Santa,
Yes it helped and thanks for taking the time for a little spanish lesson. I appreciate it.

Stubnski

 

[SilentAiche]

Dave.

You've knowed people too? You must be from southern Utah.

I knowed a girl once at a reunion, after she yessed my intentions. Some of our other cousins got all upset and not happy and then there was a big brew-haha (that, of course, is when you have some beer and laugh about the hole thing).

er, boB

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[SantaMufasa]

You betcha, Tim...er, boB. Yookun tell I binta Suthern Utah, 'cuz I knowed that thar in Saint Jarge, they feed harses carn in a born.

'n on my 'pewter screen, Ikun push a buh'un that lets me put a buootiful picher of them snow capped mouw'uns were Ibin ski'un. Yookun fly heer on Delda Airlines, yuhno.

Heer'n Utah, at nat we lay 'r' heads on a pellow, and in the mornuhn we put melk on our ceruhl. We alsuh warsh our squarsh befuhr we bake it. Sumtahms, we even put salzuh on the squarsh.

If I put stuff fur sell on eBay...Oh, my heck, I get an e-mell that tells me if summon buyed thuh flippin' thang. But hey, in this day-of-age of 'pewters, whujaspect?

Gosh dang, we was hu'un up Mill Crick yessurday 'n' oofer fun: on 'r' way over home, we seen a buck 'ith 10-point an'lers. LaMar wispers, "Flip, I goddgogetta shah'gun tuh bag that freakin' buck. Ah'd preeshyatyuh iff'n yood seteer a spell 'til I git back wi'mah fetchin' gun."

So I sez, "Oofrignert, yer tags 'r' fer a feemell, not a mell. So jus fergit it."

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]

 

[Remou]

Re Coño
A dictionary I got from Spain includes it, but I guess most would not. However, Wikipaedia does:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coño

I should mention that the article includes a great many words that will not get through MeGustaXL's firewall.

 

[KenCunningham]

I also like Sylveter's 'Sufferin’ succotash', though that's often attributed to Daffy Duck too apparently.

I don't mind people who aren't what they seem. I just wish they'd make their mind up.

Alan Bennett.

 

[rjoubert]

Dave...roflmao!!!

 

[nicksims]

flapeyre,

There most definitely is a Cañon City and it is pronounced as "canyon".

http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Lobby/3162/Colorado/placenames.htm#Spanish

We have quite a few places here that produce a little confusion in pronunciation.

Nick

 

[Ladyazh]

Sorry this room didn't have "no women allowed" sign...I am leaving quietly as I entered (laughing my buttock off).

 

[SantaMufasa]

...laughing my buttock off...

Oh my heck...howdya laugh just one buttock off? I've tried before butt when it happens, both seem to go.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]