Swearing that isn't 1

[MeGustaXL]

You know the situation; you've just driven a 4-inch nail through the web of skin between your thumb and forefinger, and hit yourself in the face with the clawhammer on the recoil! Your lovely Granny is watching and listening intently - how the Dickens do you express your pain and dismay at your own muttonheadedness!

I like to scream a selection of the following:

Flapping Bat!
Floating Boat!
You Sticking Ice-Hole

Any *BLEEP*ing others?

Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk

 

[SantaMufasa]

I'm going through my Inventory of Swear words that rhyme with "puddy": buddy, cuddy, duddy, fuddy, huddy, muddy, ruddy, and studdy.

Which of the above filth did he use? (Frankly, "puddy" is about the filthiest of the above list that I could conjure.)

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]

 

[SilentAiche]

that "Sandy" is a place in Utah, and not my wife (Nancy)

Thanks for the clarification, Dave. Ladyazh actually had me concerned that I might have misunderstood your sig for over a year and a half. Whew.

I usually misunderstand stuff for about eight months before someone hits me with a hammer and I start cussing in Klingon. I never know what I'm saying, but as long as Worf blushes, the enterprise was worth it.

I'll refrain from any urge to mention the mild curse, "Darn," or the phrase "Make it Sew" (even though this is a thread). Such self-control is referred to as "impulse power."

Tim, out there somewhere...

[blue]_______________________________________________________
"As a former farmer, I try to grow the best formers around."[/blue]

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

Mr Milson ... actually none of them would impress me, but ...

d. Someone who maintains his/her cool, takes a deep breath and says nothing

... just might.


Santa ... Change 'pud' for 'bloo'. More of a slang expression than a swear word. To my ears anyway.

[Cheers]

 

[SantaMufasa]

Ah, yes...a "blokish" profanity. I shoulda knowed.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]

 

[Trevoke]

d. Someone who maintains his/her cool, takes a deep breath and says nothing.

If you'll allow me to veer slightly off-topic, this made me think about a french comedian's definition of a gentleman.
"A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the bagpipes and doesn't."

"That time in Seattle... was a nightmare. I came out of it dead broke, without a house, without anything except a girlfriend and a knowledge of UNIX."
"Well, that's something," Avi says. "Normally those two are mutually exclusive."
-- Neal Stephenson, "Cryptonomicon"

 

[stackdump]

you've just driven a 4-inch nail through the web of skin between your thumb and forefinger

To inject some humor in this situation I usually walk around saying in a very calm but questioning tone, "no pain" a la Rocky III.

A popular Irish expression of surprise is "whale oil, beef, hooked". Just say it quickly...

 

[SilentAiche]

Trevoke,

Sorry, but "veer(ing) slightly off-topic" is strictly forbidden here at TT.

I, for one, would never dream of it...

Tim

[gray]BTW - you'd like bagpipes if you had enough Scotch in you. Since I never know when I might hear them, I try to stay ready.[/gray]

[blue]_______________________________________________________
"As a former farmer, I try to grow the best formers around."[/blue]

 

[jrbarnett]

I use the phrases "Aaaargh" when I need to rant in writing, or say "I don't beleive it" out loud.
Not sure about the former, but the latter is from Victor Meldrew (a character from One Foot in the Grave, a UK TV sitcom).

John

 

[MeGustaXL]

Hey Peeps, I've sorted the blockage out with my IT Police here, and it is a combi of <expletive deleted>, Coño (sorry Mum) and "the general tone of the piece" Hmmm..

Anyway, They pointed out that my place of work is NOT the place to be flooking around in a stevanka chat forum, so here I am at home!

Chris

Beer is God's way of telling us He loves us and wants us to be happy - Benjamin Franklin

 

[Stella740pl]

and it is a combi of ...

That's what I thought.
Including the combo thing and the Spanish expletive thing.

 

[hotfusion]

Having read through rather a lot of suggestions for expletive alternatives within this thread, I still feel the most appropriate response to the situation outlined in the initial post would be to say,

"AAAAAAAYYYYYYAAAAAAAYYYYYYAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH....."

Regards, Andy.
**************************************
My pathetic attempts at learning HTML can be laughed at here:
Hot Fusion

 

[tomed]

I used the phrase "cheese and crackers" this weekend.

The sad part of the whole thing was the first thing I thought of was posting it on here...

 

[tsdragon]

In a crossword puzzle this weekend I ran across the term for what we are discussing here: "Mincing an oath." Funny how I didn't think of that before.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[Ladyazh]

It pays off to know another language in this case. Say all you want and no one offended.

 

[SantaMufasa]

It pays off to know another language in this case. Say all you want and no one offended.

Not so fast, Lady...Several years ago, Brigham Young University's Yugoslavian basketball phenom, Kresmir Cosic (at the time, not a member of BYU's sponsoring institution, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, aka LDS, aka "Mormon") thought certainly he could benignly get away with the swear-in-another-language technique.

During one particular game where Cosic felt he had been particularly abused by bad calls from the referee, he rattled off a string of Croatian profanities aimed at the ref.

In response, the referee immediately called a technical foul on Cosic and in perfect Croatian admonished Cosic, "If I ever hear that kind of language spew out of your pie-hole again, I'll have you suspended for the rest of that game and the next one, as well."

Needless to say, Cosic cleaned up his act. (Incidentally, he later converted to the LDS Church and became Croatia's deputy ambassador to the U.S.)

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I can provide you with low-cost, remote Database Administration services: see our website and contact me via www.dasages.com]

 

[rjoubert]

That reminds me of when I was in the Army, stationed in Korea. I was a Korean linguist, so I had been trained to read, write, and speak the language. By no means was I fluent, but I could get by quite well (back then anyways).

One night, I was walking around the village surrounding our base, when a group of Korean guys walked by me. As they passed, one of them started spouting off obsenities in his native tongue, directing them at me. I calmly replied to him in Korean, and told him to watch his mouth (and added a few expletives of my own). Needless to say, his jaw hit the ground.

 

[Gooser]

When I arrived at Air Force Basic Training, it was as if someone had stolen the my favorite four-letter f-word and replaced it with jack. Everything was jacked up, people were jacking around, etc. It was very wussifying.

I often blurt out SHIPWRECK! when I drive a nail through the web of skin between my forefinger and my thumb. I don't know where I picked this up. I think maybe one time I started to say shi- then caught myself and added pwreck. I've also often heard cheese and rice, (that may be a Wisconsin thing, I dunno.)

Motherofallthingsgoodandevil... will sometimes come out all at once, though that is usually a frustration one more than a pain thing.

--Gooser

 

[rjoubert]

In Army basic training, we used "8-UP" (instead of jacked up). Our drill sargeants would ask, "What's 7 plus 1?"...we'd reply "8". Then they would ask "What's the opposite of down?"...we'd reply "UP". I wouldn't say it was wussifying, but it WAS pretty stupid.

 

[Trevoke]

My usual expression of pain, surprise, etc etc, is along the lines of..

"Sweet mother of Christ on a pogo stick!"

I sometimes elaborate. Helps the pain go by quicker.

"Sweet mother of reborn baby Jesus H. Christ savior of mankind so they say on a pogo stick jumping up and down oh man that hurts."

Say that in one breath fast.
The "mother of christ" and "pogo stick" part are the only constant. I build as I see fit.

"That time in Seattle... was a nightmare. I came out of it dead broke, without a house, without anything except a girlfriend and a knowledge of UNIX."
"Well, that's something," Avi says. "Normally those two are mutually exclusive."
-- Neal Stephenson, "Cryptonomicon"

 

[SilentAiche]

I [blue]often[/blue] blurt out SHIPWRECK! when I drive a nail through the web of skin between my forefinger and my thumb. (emphasis/color added)

Uh, Goose, assuming you've made the mental connection between the nail and the pain, have you considered simply not doing that anymore? "Handyman" may not mean what you think it means.

Or, in the alternative, consider not getting hammered so [blue]often[/blue].

I'm just kidding with you, dude, but you left the door open.

Put a BandAid on that "web" site, and beware "fingernails" in the future...

Tim

[gray] Gooser, if you're not sort of giggling, I must warn you I have friends at both Craftsman and Stanly Tools, not to mention Ol' Bill at Wal-Mart.[/gray]



[blue]_____________________________________________
"As a former farmer, I measure my produce in onces."[/blue]