One Sandwich Short 1

[ZoomerZ]

I am not sure if it belongs here but seems like it...
I just read it (and keep laughing) when lady complained about her friend acting stupid. Another lady suggesting that "she is one sandwich short from a picnic"

I love these phrases so much and wondering is this amuses me so much because I am ESL? Or it amuses everyone?

 

[CajunCenturion]

Yes, some are amusing.

The light's on, but nobody's home.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
The elevator doesn't go to the top floor.

Good Luck
--------------
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As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[SantaMufasa]

Comments people have made about me:

"He's a half a bubble off plumb"
(Referring to the bubble in a carpenter's level)

"He's not playing with a full deck."

"He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

@ 14:08 (28Dec04) UTC (aka "GMT" and "Zulu"),
@ 07:08 (28Dec04) Mountain Time

 

[MdnghtPgmr]

One taco short of a combo plate.

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

He has a photographic memory, but no film in the camera.
He's a few bricks short of a load.
He has a high IQ, but his feet don't reach the ground.
He has a heart of Gold ... shame it's not attached to his brain.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Zoomer,

They are probably known by many names, but they fall into the category called, "Slams". In this case, they are "Gentle Slams". You hear new ones every once in a while, but the more often you are around "dim-wits", the more often you hear new ones.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

@ 14:23 (28Dec04) UTC (aka "GMT" and "Zulu"),
@ 07:23 (28Dec04) Mountain Time

 

[SantaMufasa]

Limey's "He has a photographic memory, but no film in the camera" reminds me of my dad who memorised over 57,000 different telephone numbers...he just didn't know whose they were.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

@ 14:25 (28Dec04) UTC (aka "GMT" and "Zulu"),
@ 07:25 (28Dec04) Mountain Time

 

[ESquared]

I have at least 8 million phone numbers memorized.

530-111-1111
530-111-1112
530-111-1113
530-111-1114
...
530-999-9998
530-999-9999

 

[SantaMufasa]

Erik, you must be at least 140.37 times smarter than my dad.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

@ 14:34 (28Dec04) UTC (aka "GMT" and "Zulu"),
@ 07:34 (28Dec04) Mountain Time

 

[CajunCenturion]

Not at all,

He knows the numbers, but just can't dial.

Good Luck
--------------
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read FAQ181-2886
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein

 

[SantaMufasa]

Oooooh, another good one !

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

@ 14:38 (28Dec04) UTC (aka "GMT" and "Zulu"),
@ 07:38 (28Dec04) Mountain Time

 

[AnotherHiggins]

[ul][li]His porch light is flickering[/li]
[li]No grain in the silo[/li]
[li]Not the sharpest pencil in the box[/li]
[li]Only got One Oar In The Water[/li]
[li]Not the sharpest tack in the box[/li]
[li]Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel[/li]
[li]Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down[/li]
[li]Sharp as a marble[/li][/ul]

One of my personal favorites:
[li]Dumb as a box of hair[/li]

And just in time for Christmas:
[li]Not the brightest bulb on the tree[/li]

[tt]-John[/tt]
________________________
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[ESquared]

Does your mother still prefer Alpo?

 

[SantaMufasa]

And let's see how many seconds it takes Erik to 'Red-Flag' this one:

"[arbitrary, unreasonable, and unreasoning censorship by forum owner]"

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

@ 14:44 (28Dec04) UTC (aka "GMT" and "Zulu&quot,
@ 07:44 (28Dec04) Mountain Time

 

[AnotherHiggins]

Is this going to degenerate into a "Yo mama" jokefest?

[tt]-John[/tt]
________________________
To get the best answers fast, please read faq181-2886

 

[ZoomerZ]

and please, don't make it Yo mama. I have 10 y/old at home, I think I know them all.
My favorite is "when she went to college she was sitting next to everyone" LMAO

 

[BobRodes]

One beer short of a sixpack.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Erik, 660 seconds is just too long. Do you realise how many "wardrobe malfunctions" Janet Jackson might have had during that time?

Zoomer, your "when she went to college..." reminded me of when I transferred from Brigham Young University to University of Utah, I raised the overall grade-point average of both schools.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

@ 15:09 (28Dec04) UTC (aka "GMT" and "Zulu"),
@ 08:09 (28Dec04) Mountain Time

 

[SantaMufasa]

Thanks, Erik, but if we have to explain it, doesn't it lose any hope of being amusing? Of course, rarely are my jokes accused of being amusing anyway, so nothing lost I guess.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

@ 15:24 (28Dec04) UTC (aka "GMT" and "Zulu"),
@ 08:24 (28Dec04) Mountain Time

 

[SantaMufasa]

In the US, an accusation is not enough. You must also prove that I'm amusing. That, my friend, is a much more difficult task!

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

@ 15:50 (28Dec04) UTC (aka "GMT" and "Zulu"),
@ 08:50 (28Dec04) Mountain Time