Job titles... 2

[stackdump]

A young friend of the family recently got a part-time job to help fund his studies at college (which I admire incidentally). The job is helping a van driver to deliver orders for a well known electrical retailer. Basically he's the young guy you normally see clinging onto the other end of the box as the older guy wrestles it through your doorway (usually also holding the delivery note in his teeth). His job title is "Retail Distribution Operative".

So just for fun, do you have an elaborate job title for something that's a bit more modest than it sounds?

Looking at the evening newspaper, I also saw 'Reclamation, Recycling and Sustainability Executive', which appears to be a job at a recycling center, removing nasty fluids from appliances.

 

[flapeyre]

I hate PC job titles. One that sticks in my craw is "sanitary engineer" (a "janitor" to everyone else).

I'm old fashioned, perhaps, but I think that unless someone has an engineering degree (or drives a train for a living), he/she is a PC engineer.

I have had that pretentious title thrust upon me: I was once a "Customer Engineer" (I fixed office equipment: typewriters, copy machines, and the occasional PC). They changed the title later on to "Customer Service Representative" later on in my tenure, though.

(Full disclosure: I don't have a degree in anything).



-- Francis
Et cognoscetis veritatem, et veritas liberabit vos.

 

[Guest_imported]

Well not a job title as such, but in one episode of "Thin blue line", Grimm entrusted the uniforms with "front elevation entry orifice obstruction displacement", aka "bashing the door down".

Jim Brown,
Tech writer and training consultant,
Johannesburg,
South Africa.
My time is GMT+2

"One day Lad, ALL this will be yours!"
"What, the curtains?

 

[BadBigBen]

Francis,

Sanitary Engineer, that was me, back in the 90's... I was rolling on the floor laughing when I heard that one...

In the 80's I was a Customer Representative, for Commodore Business Machines, Phillips, and several other companies, to the military market in Germany...

and now I am a Systems Integration Specialist or simply PC Tech (with lots of knowledge in various fields of IT)...

Ben
"If it works don't fix it! If it doesn't use a sledgehammer..."
How to ask a question, when posting them to a professional forum.
Only ask questions with yes/no answers if you want "yes" or "no"

 

[tcsbiz]

I once saw on a resume for a programming job that stated the applicant had "extensive knowledge and experience in consumer goods distribution." He was a delivery van driver for a local appliance company.

 

[hilfy]

Two jobs ago I was "Director, Program Development" which meant that I was the only full-time, on-staff programmer.

-Dell

A computer only does what you actually told it to do - not what you thought you told it to do.

 

[SQLSister]

My personal favorite came when I was working on a government contract:
I was officially an ADP Installer
but what I should have been was Database/Financial Analyst

When I asked why, I was told that the contract set specific pay miits on jobs and the ADP installer was the one that best met my salary. There was no contract job for an analyst BTW as the contract started out just being network installation and the government used it to expand into other areas without changing the contract.

"NOTHING is more important in a database than integrity." ESquared

 

[Annihilannic]

SQLSister... I had exactly the same explanation from HR for the totally unrelated job title I have currently on my pay slip.

We were instructed by a senior manager to call ourselves Systems Engineers rather than Systems Administrators (to avoid confusion with Admin Assistants??)... I don't think anyone has bothered yet.

Annihilannic.

 

[gbaughma]

From "Bloom County" years ago....
"Waste Management Partisan" (Garbage Collector)

Let's see... off the top of my head....
"Thermal Induction Engineer" (Fry cook)
"Wastewater Flow Professional" (Plumber)
"Herbology Growth Regulator" (one who mows lawns)


Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[gaylec54]

My current job title is "Technical Layout Specialist" -- I'm a desktop publisher.

 

[Westi]

my job title is Systems engineer, which I refused for the longest time to put on my signature for e-mails and had taken off my business cards too because I went from phone guy to phone technician then to phone systems engineer and now they dropped the phone from it. I have been told though to have it back in.
I think the title of engineer should be reserved for people that actually have an engineers degree of some sort and worked for it to get it.
I would however put a Dr. H.C. on my title should someone have connections to get me one

Joe W.

FHandw., ACSS

insanity is just a state of mind

 

[Michael52x]

Ha! "Depot Manager" is on my business cards, which I rarely give out, but Im just the guy who fixes everything that comes in on the van from clients, and our downtown office.
I dont "manage" the depot in any way but keep working stuff on the shelves for swapping. Although I am an ASP/APS for HP, Xerox, Brother, Epson, OKI, and all else, most of my certs are grandfathered in based on my experience and knowledge. Major design changes in a product line, hybridizing an existing line I will need to test on, to get the ability to buy parts for them. Warranty work is based on our partner level, which is Platinum for HP, Microsoft.


"Impatience will reward you with dissatisfaction" RMS Cosmics'97

 

[2ffat]

I know Texas banned the use of "Engineer" from all but graduates with an engineering degree. Microsoft was upset since they said that people "graduating" from their "schools" with a certificate was an engineer. I wonder what the politically correct term for Sanitation Engineer (janitor) is in Texas?????


James P. Cottingham
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[Sympology]

As for you van man assistant.

How about Customer Logistics Representive?



Robert Wilensky:
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

 

[p5wizard]

@2ffat

(Restroom) Floor Manager?

 

[2ffat]

James P. Cottingham
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[Michael52x]

Uh, hardly "assistant". Paid twice as much, work harder.
Get the stuff done no one else can.
He has a job, I have a career.

"Impatience will reward you with dissatisfaction" RMS Cosmics'97

 

[DTSMAN]

Can't you just replace Engineer with Analyst in most cases.

Janitors are now Sanitary Analyst.



Bo

Remember,
If the women don't find you handsome,
they should at least find you handy.
(Red Green)

http://www.redgreen.com

 

[Annihilannic]

In Australia, waste management partisans are commonly known as "garbologists", or usually just "garbos".

Annihilannic.

 

[p5wizard]

Uh, Bo, I don't know about you, but I make sure EVERYTHING is flushed before anybody can start analyzing after I visit that particular room of the building.