How not to write a headline 12

[wahnula]

EU states oppose plan to end "bent cucumber" rule

I didn't even know there WAS a "bent cucumber" rule...

Although a few rulers have HAD a bent cucumber, one could assume...

Tony

Users helping Users...

 

[wahnula]

OK...another one, then I'll stop, I swear

This should appeal to the math geeks aboard:

Baffling crop circles equal pi

YUMMM...PIE!!!

Tony

Users helping Users...

 

[Opieo]

Wahnula, I see no reason to stop.
These are quite entertaining.

~
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

 

[flapeyre]

Another one I just remembered:

Distance runner Craig Virgin was scheduled to run in a marathon over a holiday (I think it was July 4), and the paper ran the following two headlines:

VIRGIN TO PROVIDE HOLIDAY EXCITEMENT

A FIRST ON THE FOURTH FOR VIRGIN (when he won).

Nullum gratuitum prandium.
--Sleipinir214

 

[SantaMufasa]

Flayeyre,

Reminds me of goody-two-shoes Donny Osmond's faux pas on a UK talk show awhile back:

Host: "Donny, how was your flight over?"

Donny: "It was exciting...It was my first time on a Virgin..."

(Audience howls...Host prances with delight.)

Donny: "...Flight...flight...flight!"

(Donny dissolves into a heap of crimson embarrassment.)

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
A fo ben, bid bont.

 

[tcsbiz]

This one was in a local paper a few weeks ago. The schools are teaching elementary school students how to prepare healthful snacks and to only bring healthful snacks to school.

The headline in the first edition was:
"Kids make good, healthful snacks"

The late edition headline was:
"Mixing children and fruit makes good snacks"

I thought it would be bad to snack on kids since they're so fatty.

 

[sbix]

Santa, I'm italian.. I can confirm you that the policeman speech has been poorly translated....

 

[flapeyre]

And yesterday, from Regret the Error:

Man wins race, website changes his last name to “Homosexual”

A good example of why it's not a good idea to filter news content automatically.

Nullum gratuitum prandium.
--Sleipinir214

 

[SantaMufasa]

Does that mean that the spell checker causes the late Marvin Gaye to become Marvin Homosexuale ? <grin>

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
A fo ben, bid bont.

 

[flapeyre]

Didn't know Marvin was French. Umm, never mind .

Or, were the "Gay Nineties" (the decade 1890-1899) the "Homosexual Nineties?"

Nullum gratuitum prandium.
--Sleipinir214

 

[kskid]

Or the plane that dropped the A-Bomb, "Enola Homosexual

 

[SamBones]

French man with two asses surprises Swedish officials

 

[SantaMufasa]

In this case, I understand it took the officials twice as long as normal to process Abdelaziz, thus the customs personnel were, in fact, half-fast. <grin>

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
A fo ben, bid bont.

 

[sha76]

It's a road sign, rather than a headline, but I was amused to note that next week there will be "enhanced" delays at a local level crossing. I wonder how they intend to enhance them? Street entertainers? A hotdog vendor?

"Your rock is eroding wrong." -Dogbert

 

[Opieo]

Wouldn't an enhanced delay mean you were actually delayed for a shorter period of time? Or is that somehow thinking backwards?

~
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

 

[Stella740pl]

Wouldn't an enhanced delay mean you were actually delayed for a shorter period of time?

Being delayed for a shorter period of time I would call a shortened/reduced delay. (Or, alternatively, an improved/enhanced service - which warrants shorter delays.) An enhanced delay to me is what sha said.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Here are some additional clippings of newspaper articles written by apparent journalistic amateurs:

The caption of the above completely black photo reads:

This is an artist's conception of the Mount Pleasant High School football field Friday after an electrical transformer blew, knocking out the stadium lights.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
“Beware of those that seek to protect you from harm. The cost will be your freedoms and your liberty.”

 

[KornGeek]

Santa,

Those are hysterical, but unfortunately, in many cases it seems that the headlines are correct, it's just that the reality is wrong.

 

[flapeyre]

So, Santa, are you Jay Leno on your day off ?

Nullum gratuitum prandium.
--Sleipinir214

 

[SantaMufasa]

So, Santa, are you Jay Leno on your day off

<HoHoHo> I'm Santa on my day off, of course! <grin>

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
“Beware of those that seek to protect you from harm. The cost will be your freedoms and your liberty.”