How not to write a headline 12

[SantaMufasa]

Chris,

In a similar vein (although not headlines, related due to poor choice of wording) is the universally abused marketing phraseology of easy listening/popular music radio stations:

"Soft Hits for your listening pleasure", or "<Your location's> Greatest Hits."

Invariably, the deliverer of the messages does not take proper care in their enunciation, and the message becomes an inadvertent comment about female anatomy apparently available from the radio station.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[philhege]

To Santa Mufasa's point concerning the first sentence of the article:

I ran it through Babelfish a couple of times.

A tourist American has been killed in train while he has walked after on the tracks in a daze that then he has drunk merlettato of the cappuccino with drugs and has been dressed, police of the railroad has said monday.

There. That's better.

Phil H.
Some Bank
-----------
I used to be happy programming. Now I'm miserable project planning. Hey, at least the money's good.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Yes, Phil...Muchhhhhh better ! <grin>

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[wahnula]

Man Sickened After Snake Bites Him While Using Toilet

That's what happens when you mess with a snake while it's using the toilet...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,359587,00.html

Tony

Users helping Users...

 

[traingamer]

This headline was in the St. Louis Post Dispatch the other day: Still Attracts Boaters.

I thought I was in Kentucky or West Virginia until I realized that this was a right hand (split) headline that went with something about gas prices in the left hand headline.

(Pulitzer is spinning in his grave.)


Greg
People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. Kierkegaard

 

[wahnula]

Bearded tit spotted at nuclear station

Hmmm...coincidence it was a nuclear plant? Like a cheap sci-fi movie!

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=164216&in_page_id=34

Tony

Users helping Users...

 

[wahnula]

This is too funny not to share:

Man driving motorized cooler faces DWI, other charges

DWI while riding you cooler???

WHITEHALL - In case you were wondering, a motorized cooler on wheels is a motor vehicle under state law.

A Whitehall man learned that on Memorial Day, when he was charged with driving while intoxicated after police pulled him over for swerving and driving on the sidewalk on a four-wheeled, motorized cooler known as a "Cruzin Cooler."

Leslie J. "Bomber" Marr, 57, could face felony DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle charges because of prior arrests and convictions in drinking-and-driving cases, said Whitehall Police Chief Richard LaChapelle.

The electricity-powered Cruzin Cooler that Marr was riding contained 14 beers, the chief said.

LaChapelle said Whitehall Police Patrolman Andrew Mija stopped Marr at about 7:45 p.m. after the officer saw Marr swerving and preparing to cross William Street on the motorized cooler.

The machine has handlebars, and its operator sits on a seat atop the cooler, LaChapelle said.

"We were told it can do up to 12 mph," the chief said.

Marr had apparently just left the nearby American Legion Post 83, but it was unclear where he was going, LaChapelle said. He was not headed toward his Lafayette Street home, and he refused to take a breath test, the chief said.

Marr had apparently been working at the American Legion post earlier in the day, according to police.

Marr was charged with misdemeanor counts of DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, and also was cited for operating an uninsured motor vehicle.

He was released pending prosecution in Whitehall Village Court.

The Cruzin Cooler was seized by police, the chief said.

No listed phone number for Marr could be found Monday.

Washington County District Attorney Kevin Kortright said the scooter is considered a motor vehicle under state law.

"They tell us he's been riding around town on that cooler for years," Kortright said. "You can't cruise around on your cooler if you're intoxicated."

Cruzin Coolers generally run on 300-watt to 500-watt motors similar to those used on other motorized scooters, but there are some models that run on gasoline.

The company's Web site boasts the vehicles can travel up to 13 mph and pull up to 400 pounds. Price-wise, they begin at about $300.

They are legal in New York, according to the company's Web site.

http://www.poststar.com/articles/2008/06/03/news/local/13641652.txt

Tony

Users helping Users...

 

[GwydionM]

During one of Mark Twain's tours to raise money, a British newspaper had the headlines

MARK TWAIN ARRIVES
ASCOT GOLD CUP DISAPPEARS

Very unlikely to have been an accident.

------------------------------
An old man who lives in the UK

 

[GwydionM]

Just found another:

Plan to save whales strangling in red tape

From CNN. A serious issue, but they could have put it better.

------------------------------
An old man who lives in the UK

 

[Opieo]

You know the police really just wanted to ride the cooler and he wouldn't let them have a turn.
Wow. Didn't even know motorized cooler's existed until now.

~
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

 

[genomon]

Monday June 9, 2008; from the Wisconsin Dells Events:

After 41 years, John Campbell to leave fifth grade

I'd say "'bout time!".
Turns out he was a teacher........

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."

 

[snuv]

I know this thread is about headlines but it's in the same vein.

I saw this sign, hanging above one of the tills, in the cinema yesterday.

"Unlimited Customers Only"

The quotes are mine, there was no other punctuation and nothing around it to give context

It means what exactly?

"If it could have gone wrong earlier and it didn't, it ultimately would have been beneficial for it to have." : Murphy's Ultimate Corollary

 

[ncotton]

Just heard a news report that had this same kind of thing.

".....accused Mr Jackson of setting fire to the home after it was burnt to the ground in March earlier this year"


Why would someone set fire to a house that that was already "burnt to the ground". Also "in March earlier this year" as apposed to that March that we have later in the year.

Neil J Cotton
Technical Consultant
Anix

 

[genomon]

Federal Trial Begins Monday For Ex-Milwaukee Alderman

OK, which is it? Formerly from Milwaukee, or formerly an alderman?

How about "Federal Trial Begins Monday For Milwaukee Ex-Alderman"?

"Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted."

 

[Rofeu]

or an alderman from what was formerly Milwaukee.

 

[genomon]

Guess either way, he brings the beer....


"Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted."

 

[flapeyre]

During a product recall:

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Wait. Eyes don't belong on shelves. If the eye had been in the eye socket, we wouldn't have had to write this headline!


Nullum gratuitum prandium.
--Sleipinir214

 

[ncotton]

ederal Trial Begins Monday For Ex-Milwaukee Alderman

This is correct as someone can be a &quot;Milwaukee Alderman&quot; as a single entity.

Just like someone can be a &quot;British Preist&quot;, would wouldn't say..... &quot;ex-Preist who si still british&quot;

It's pretty straight forward I would have though. If there were ferering to his Milwaukee-ness as the subjective entity that is of the past, they would have used, &quot;Alderman, formally of Milwaukee&quot;

Neil J Cotton
Technical Consultant
Anix

 

[SantaMufasa]

Whoa, Neil,

Even if this forum were not &quot;Making an Impression&quot;, we would probably wonder (from your multitude of spelling/grammatical issues, above) if &quot;you're not as think as we drunk you are.&quot; &lt;grin&gt;

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
Deuparth gwaith yw ei ddechrau.

 

[ncotton]

Not drunk.....not slept. 3rd day straight...
I know the errors are inexcusable, but I have no excuse. Eitherway, the point I made is still sound.

Neil J Cotton
Technical Consultant
Anix