guilt feeling to change jobs 7

[Zigma]

Hi,

my situation is like this.about 4 years ago when i was in a desperate need of a job and after being turned down by many companies, my present company offered me a job.

Its a small company with about 15 employees.Its doing OK ,but not very well,hence the salary is not what one expects.

Recently,all of a sudden most of the senior people have left and now I am the only person left who knows anything about our software package.We have taken new employees ,but all of them are at the trainee level.So a lot depends on me now.

Now , I have got a job offer which will give me a salary three times what I get now.
However I just cannot get myself to tell my current boss that I want to leave.Because that would mean putting my company in serious trouble.

we have a lot of programs and it is like there are calls from customers every day that we have to attend.because of the size of the packages we have and their complexity, I would require atleast 2 months to train the new people.

but my new job cant wait that long.

So as you see I am in a dilemma now.I consider my present boss as a sort of father figure ,for helping me when i needed it most.Now if I leave ,it would be like ditching him.

How do I get out of this situation?

 

[TomKane]

You have to do what's right for you - whether that means staying or going.

If you can't bring yourself to tell your boss and end up staying you'll probably feel better about things for a while but you may then feel that an opportunity has been missed and spend a long time lamenting on what could have been.

On the other hand you could make the move, burn your bridges, and find that making the move was a big mistake.

I don't think the knowledge thing should be a factor in whether you stay or go. We all like to think that our companys wouldn't cope without us but the chances are that they will - it got along before you got there and will still be there after you left. <aside> Maybe I'm a jinx but every company I've ever worked for previously no longer exists - nothing to do with me though </aside>

They will have to recruit someone who has the skills, meanwhile you'll have to do a crash course for the new guys.

If you've decided that you want to go - then you're just going to have to bite the bullet and so it - you owe your boss the truth and the courtesy of telling him to his face that you want to leave. You could alway &quot;flower&quot; it up and make your self available for a couple of months after you go to help the transistion - provided you don't let it affect your new job.

 

[sleipnir214]

I think TomKane has it spot on.

I recommend that you immediately tell your current employer about the offer. Although he will not want to see you go, I am sure that once you tell him about the salary increase you have waiting for you, he will say that you would have been crazy to not take it.

Want the best answers? Ask the best questions:

http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html

TANSTAAFL!!

 

[miniramamurthy]

Hi,

A * to TomKane. Agree with his ideas.

This company may sure tell you that you are a pillar and you quitting at this stage may leave it rumbling and falling to pieces. But I think you should not fall for that gag. Think of your long term goals.

If the new job helps you reach your long term goals, I think you should be calling it quits to your present job.

If you do feel very guilty about it, recommend you take some time (without affecting your new job) to help the trainees face the customers better. You could also talk of being a consultant to your ex employer(with cost/ no cost depending on how you negotiate with your present employer).

Good luck

Rgds
Mini

 

[franklin97355]

Tell your boss you have an offer. If he wants to keep you he might make you a counteroffer if not you know where you stand.

 

[carp]

Definitely give the company a chance to meet the offer.

Were the situation reversed and the company needed to cut back, I'm willing to bet it would not hesitate to lay you and many of your coworkers off, even though that would leave you in &quot;serious trouble&quot;.

There used to be a time when employers inspired loyalty. With few exceptions, this is no longer the case. Your retirement plan is however much you can save in your 401(k) - with or without matching funds from your employer. But pensions don't occur much anymore, and you rarely even get a gold watch upon retirement. If the company decides it needs to &quot;rightsize&quot;, it will throw you under the bus in a heartbeat - with or without a severence plan.

You owe it to yourself (not to mention your family, if you have one) to provide for yourself as best you can. If your employer will meet the offer and you feel more secure where you are, then stay. Otherwise, you have to go with what's best for you.

 

[Zigma]

Were the situation reversed and the company needed to cut back, I'm willing to bet it would not hesitate to lay you and many of your coworkers off, even though that would leave you in &quot;serious trouble&quot;.


thats very true carp.

ok I have decided to go for the new job.but i will help my old company whenever they need me.

thank you all for your advice

 

[RickSpr]

Recently,all of a sudden most of the senior people have left...

To me, that suggests that the company's payroll expenses may have gone way down, so they might well have the money for a counteroffer. Just so you're prepared for that possibility.

Rick Sprague
Want the best answers? See faq181-2886
To write a program from scratch, first create the universe. - Paraphrased from Albert Einstein

 

[ghostymosty]

Take the job with the MUCH better pay and offer to work as a consultant to the present company for a set amount of time.

I was recently faced with the dilema of no possible advancement at a company and too little work in the area to go it on my own. My solution was to relocate to So Cal and look for work after taking a slight vacation. Staying with family helps in that regard but a better job waiting for me would have made me feel much better about the move. Career advancement opportunities don't come along every day in this field so you have to grab them when you find them.

David in Riverside, CA
datacablefixer@aol.com

 

[carp]

&quot;Recently,all of a sudden most of the senior people have left...&quot;

When you see rats going over the gunwales, the ship is sinking. It's time to leave!

 

[chiph]

If you should decide to go ... just go. I've seen that accepting a counter-offer from your current company results in continued employment for only 6-8 additional months (or however long it takes to find your replacement).

Chip H.

 

[Provogeek]

Plus, if a company goes belly up because a key person left the company, then it's poor managment on your bosses part. To save some cash, he hired trainee level replacments for senior staff. Not a good idea in most cases.

 

[smythe]

You have to do what's right for you, that doesn't mean you should burn bridges or leave your company in a bad spot... have you thought of accepting the other position and possibly contracting your current job on a part time basis to train the other employees up to speed?

Just think what companies in your position do, sure they may feel bad about laying off employees, but they still do it... it's about money. Even so there's definitely something to be said about employeee/company trust, and you should have as most open communication with your employer as possible, your guilt is simply a sign that you are a good employee and you care about your company, and there's something to be said for that too.

 

[Onyxpurr]

I was in this exact situation but it was an internal offer.

I sat down with my boss and explained that I couldn't refuse as it was a career move. He was great in saying he understood and even asked me something I never thought I would be asked, &quot;What can I do to make you stay?&quot;

However I told him there was nothing because this was like I said a career move. I was very glad I did it.

Like everyone else here has said...if he really is a good father figure he'll understand it's in your best interests.

Good luck!

 

[Craftor]

More of the same kind of thing

After I finished university - I really struggled to find a job as the market was down and I had no &quot;real&quot; experience. I got a job through a friend - again the salary wasn't that great and the job wasn't fantastic (bad management etc.) - but the fact was that they were willing to invest in me when no one else was. Eventually - with no raise in sight after a year and a half - I started thinking about getting a new job. Just like you, Zigma, I had all the guilty feelings and had almost convinced myself to stay when the MD called me into his office and told me that they were downsizing and I was retrenched!

Got another job at a great company - excellent culture and really nice work - but again not a fantastic salary. At the time I was looking to buy a house and my fiance and I could not have afforded what we wanted on my current salary so I made the difficult descision to leave a job I really liked to move on for money. It was exceptionally hard to resign - especially when my boss told me how much I'd be missed and gave me an enormous going-away present.

The point I'm trying to make here is that no matter how 'obligated' you feel to a company - they will put their own interests first at the end of the day. I'm not saying that they will throw you out at the first sign of business trouble - but they will put cost over loyalty at the end. And it _is_ tough to resign - especially when you are enjoying what you do - but you also need to consider your own future and commitments. I'm also not saying that money is everything ;-)

Best of luck with the new job Zigma - hope it's everything you dreamed of. Don't look back!

Craftor

 

[BeckahC]

Do what is right for you!

I had a job offer almost 2 years ago... stayed where I was because I liked the company at the time - even though I would have gotten more than double my salary and comparable benefits, I regret it soooo much now!

Don't pass up an opportunity you think is great just because you feel obligated to the company you're with now. Nothing hurts worse than regrets!

I agree with many of the others. Bring up the job offer to your boss ASAP and tell him you must let the other company know by a particular date and time and he or she says.

BeckahC

 

[ecobb]

Um...in case no one has noticed, this thread was posted over 6 months ago, so chances are, he's taken or lost the job offer by now. After checking the user's profile, Zigma hasn't logged back into TT since the day after this thread was posted. Not that I mind the posts, this is one of my favorite forums on TT as I get to see other people's opinions and reactions, but I think we can stop giving Zigma advice on whether or not to take the job. ;-)

I actually went through this same situation about 6 months ago. I had a company make me an offer that I couldn't walk away from, so I had to just sit down with my boss one morning and tell him about it (actually, I gave my notice). There was no way he could match the offer. He was very understanding and said he couldn't blame me for leaving. A couple of months after I left, my old boss left the company too and started his own consulting business. Now, my current company is one of his largest customers, and HE works for ME!

Hope This Helps!

Ecobb

&quot;Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.&quot; - Homer Simpson

 

[earlrainer]

Even if zigma no longer follows this forum , i guess the advice could still be relevant for many others facing the same situation

 

[Tarwn]

Ecobb: After that last line I was waiting for a &quot;Muahahaha&quot; or similar

Good stuff everyone, even if it hasn;t been read by the original poster I have enjoyed watching the discussion.

-T

[sub]01000111 01101111 01110100 00100000 01000011 01101111 01100110 01100110 01100101 01100101 00111111[/sub]
The never-completed website:

http://www.tiernok.com/

 

[BiggerDon]

With Ecobb's tag line, I think an &quot;EExxcellant!&quot; would work too!