Annual Neologism contest

[LFCfan]

Apologies if these are old, but I spotted them on another forum and they made me chuckle

Annual Neologism Contest

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning

submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked

to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that when
you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.

_~LFCfan

 

[jrbarnett]

People who enjoy this may also enjoy the Uxbridge English Dictionary.
This is a book written by contributors to the BBC Radio 4 panel game "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" as part of their "New Definitions" round.

John

 

[MallardVHS]

LFCfan,

THanks for the laughs! I must correct one, however.

6. Negligent (adj.) a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

I'd offer this:

[blue]6. Negligent (adj.) condition in which a dude answers the door in a woman's nightgown. [/blue]


I'll not address [green]"Flatulence"[/green] since Ducks who fart are simply considered to have a bubbly personality.

Don (hehe)


[blue]_____________________________________________________
A really cool handle might mean you sleep-walked to the fridge.[/blue]