We ask the wrong questions

[ncotton]

I always wonder why we chose to ask questions that we dont REALLY mean.

The best example of this is

"Have you got the time?"

You really don't care whether he has the time. Not to mention nobody HAS the time.

This is also asked as

"Do you know the time?"
You're not bothered if the person knows the time. YOU want to know the time.

The question you really should be asking is

Could you please tell me the time

Why don't we ask this. Is it because it is demanding an action of them. And it appears rude to command an action as part of a question in the first instance.

You also may not know if they know what time it is/have a watch clock visible.

This isn't a discussion about pointless rhetorical questions, but questions we don't mean.

Have you any other examples, and why do we ask things the way we do.

Also, instances of questions asked as a form of direction. By this I mean when we ask a question, when there is no option of an answer. This is slightly different from rhetorical, and isn't truely classed as "leading" by deffinition.

An example of this is if you go to an eatery without a reservation and ask for a table. They may say

"We will have a table available in 10 minutes. Would you like to wait?" <that is fine>
"Yes. That would be great."
"Would you like to take a seat at the bar?" This is not a question, this is a direction, he is not offering an alternative, but still asked as a question.

Another example of this phrasing is using the words...

...Could I ask you....to take a seat at the bar, untill your table is ready?

Again, no options are infered?


[TOPIC OPEN]

Neil J Cotton
Technical Consultant
Anix Group Ltd

 

[KornGeek]

Back when my wife was pregnant, I got tired of people inquiring as to the gender of the unborn baby. I, too, started answering the question asked rather than the question intended.

Q: Do you know what you're having?
A: A baby!

Q: Do you know what you're having?
A: Oh, I'm not pregnant, just putting on some weight. My wife's the one who's having the baby.

Q: Do you know what you're having?
A: Yes.
Q: What are you having?
A: A baby.
Q: What kind of baby?
A: A little one.
Q: Do you know if it's going to be a boy or a girl?
A: Yes.
Q: Is it going to be a boy or a girl?
A: I certainly hope so.
Q: Are you having a boy or a girl?
A: As far as I know we are.

At this point (if not sooner), they would give up and get a straight answer from my wife.

If I tell you I made Chili yesterday don't ask me how it came out.

It took me a minute to figure that out (I'm not fully awake yet), but it was worth the wait!

stackdump,
Several good ones there! My favorite, however is:

In the middle of a disagreement...
Me: "Are you saying it's my fault?"
Wife: "It really doesn't matter which of us is at fault"
Me: "ok, but is it your fault?"
Wife: "No"

 

[donbott]

Have you tried that new, cheap Chinese restaurant?

No, I haven't had the guts.

DonBott

Does not play well with others

 

[ESquared]

How about the Chinese restaurant here that got caught serving seagull as chicken...

[COLOR=black #d0d0d0]When I walk, I sometimes bump into things. I am closing my eyes so that the room will be empty.[/color]

 

[SantaMufasa]

How about the Chinese restaurant here that got caught serving seagull as chicken...

So, if they have been getting away with it with their customers, that means that when people ask me what stuff tastes like (e.g., frog legs, et cetera), I can just tell them, "It tastes like seagull," right?

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[LNBruno]

Sign at the local dry cleaners: "Drop your pants here, $2.95."



< M!ke >
I am not a hamster and life is not a wheel.

 

[thefourthwall]

How about the Chinese restaurant here that got caught serving seagull as chicken...

And if someone from down South asks me what rattlesnake meat tastes like, should I say 'chicken,' or 'seagull?' ;-)

 

[thefourthwall]

My older brother worked at Six Flags while in high school and got in trouble after a lost customer asked him, "how do we get out of here?" and he replied "through the gate." Not exactly customer-friendly.