Things you say that just don't sound right... 1

[wahnula]

I've been lurking in this forum for quite a while, and thoroughly enjoy the discussions on the English language (and others). I thought I'd chime in with one of my favorites.

My gaffe, in perfect English, was answering a question from my wife on her appearance before a night out...I replied "There's nothing you can do to make yourself look any better".

I meant well, and luckily she has a sense of humor. No way out of this one otherwise. Has anyone else heard themselves saying something that sounded like (or could be construed as) the complete opposite of their intent?

Tony

Users helping Users...

 

[ncotton]

From a curry house poster

TRY ONE OF OUR CURRIES
You'll never get better

Infering that you will never recover.

Neil J Cotton
Technical Consultant
Anix

 

[Opieo]

@ncotton
Heh.
If I am actually trying to insult, and they say thank you, I think it would throw me off some. I try to not insult people, but when I am, I am usually upset enough that it is quite clear that I am in no way being friendly. That is rare though, takes a lot to get me riled up. ^_^


Hehe, I have never fully understood the foot in mouth comment. Did it originate from a long time ago when if you said something stupid, people actually made you put your foot in your mouth? Have you ever tried that? I have never tried to put my foot in my mouth, and am pretty sure it would be kind of rough because I do not stretch all that much. So it seems like an odd phrase all by its lonesome.

~
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

 

[ESquared]

I have heard an awful lot of Chuck Norris jokes lately... what's going on?

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[AnotherHiggins]

It was something of an internet phenomenon, peaking about 1-2 years ago, revived perhaps due to his involvement with the Huckabee campaign.

Here are a few examples:
- Random Chuck Norris Fact Generator
-

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com

-

http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com

My wife and I were at a bar one night a year or so ago and, unbeknownst to us, they were having a contest to come up with the best Chuck Norris fact. It was a complete theme-night, complete with wait staff dressed like the Karate Kid and a martial arts demonstration by some group.

I'm quite proud of my personal, original, and award-winning contribution:

Chuck Norris eats dark matter and sh*ts black holes.[sup]tm[/sup]

[small]TradeMark 2007, AnotherHiggins. All rights reserved. Unauthorized reproduction of this quote, in part or in whole or in spirit, is strictly prohibited.[/small]

PS - Free tip to those who don't follow these internet trends: If anyone ever sends you a link, picture or video titled anything like goatse, tubgirl or twocups, just walk away.

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[wahnula]

I have heard an awful lot of Chuck Norris jokes lately... what's going on?

Chuck Norris is just a funny guy...a parody of himself, he's been a punchline since the 80's...he's just an over-the-top macho man that has deteriorated more than Steven Segall in the popular US lexicon. Have you seen his recent "TotalGym" ad (or whatever machine that is)?

They have footage of him working out on the machine maybe 20 years ago, then cut to him today, with a craggy face and a bad BAD toupee. He's simply a pathetic "E" list celebrity.

Tony

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[imnotcourtney]

Hey hey hey - the eyes of Texas are upon you!

 

[rjoubert]

...he's just an over-the-top macho man that has deteriorated more than Steven Segall in the popular US lexicon.

MORE than Steven Seagal? Is that possible? C'mon, how about "Walker, Texas Ranger?" That's a great show!

 

[wahnula]

OK, OK, he is EQUAL to Steven Seagal. I'm a Texan...and Texans (at least the ones I hang around with) consider Chuck Norris as campy/funny as the rest of the country...except for this guy:

http://www.walkertexaslawyer.com/

...who has obvious issues.

Tony

Users helping Users...

 

[ESquared]

Contrary to reports, he was never offered the part of the sensei of the Kobra Kai dojo in the movie The Karate Kid. On a February 9, 2006 episode of Adam Carolla's radio show, Norris said that he was never offered the role. Norris noted that he was already playing leading roles by the time The Karate Kid was in production.

 

[Opieo]

Whenever anyone mentions Steven Seagull, it only reminds me of the mullet poster and the Steven Segullet.

~
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

 

[KenCunningham]

Is he the brother of Jonathan Livingstone?

I want to be good, is that not enough?

 

[wahnula]

This may not technically be a mullet, but this one is getting danged close:

I am impressed with how quickly these intellectual discussions deteriorate!

Tony

Users helping Users...

 

[Bandenjamin]

If Mr. Norris were here now he would round kick all of you in the head!!!

--Dan
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain

 

[AnotherHiggins]

I forgot to say it, but welcome aboard, wahnula.

Sorry your first thread has strayed so far off course.... But at least it's been fun reading.

I had forgotten the end of the SNL sketch I described earlier. I looked around online and I can't find a transcript, or a video, or even a dependable summary of the sketch. But I read enough to jog my memory a bit. So here's another attempt including the ending line. And, bonus, it is actually on topic:

[tab]----
Ed Asner is a guy retiring from a nuclear power plant. There's a going-away thing, and he is walking out the door.

His parting words are, "Just remember, you can't put too much water in the reactor."

The next day, the reactor starts to overheat. One engineer, who interpreted the instructions to mean that it is impossible to put too much water in - that more water is always OK - opens up the valves to flood the reactor.

Another Engineer stops him and asks what he's doing. His interpretation of the instructions are that putting too much water in the reactor would be a very bad thing.

They consult a third engineer to break the tie. His interpretation is that we shouldn't put too much water in the reactor, but it is OK for someone else to do so.

Cut to Ed sitting on the beach sipping a drink. There is a bright light and a mushroom cloud on the horizon. Someone asks about the explosion.

Ed hypothesizes that it is probably a test.

As he gets up, Ed delivers the final line of the sketch: "Just remember, you can't look too long at a nuclear explosion".

Fade to black as the camera pushes in on the onlookers face. He is staring intently into the distance with a puzzled look about him.
[tab]----


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[wahnula]

anotherhiggins,

Thanks for the welcome. This forum among others gives me something to do when there are no new questions in my fields of expertise. I am the kind of worker that works very intensely, but only for short spurts (<1hr). I guess it's a hangover from my "deadline" college days. I like to have something to do between spurts, it rests me and refreshes my creativity.

As I have learned in my lurking, fun reading seems to be the only prerequisite for this forum, and that's refreshing. I like the "stream of consciousness" that some threads take, including this one.

If Mr. Norris were here now he would round kick all of you in the head!!!

That explains the foot-sized hole in my monitor.

Tony

Users helping Users...

 

[wahnula]

On topic:

"We do not have one brain cell to waste in the state of Kentucky when it relates to our young people," Westrom said

From:

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/bizarre/5704036.html

Tony

Users helping Users...

 

[mjldba]

My neighbor is a Harley rider and, to avoid calls to the police complaining of loud music & general misbehaving, he invited the neighborhood to his party.

I saw a guy wearing a t-shirt that said "If you ain't a biker then you ain't $hit".

So, by painfully expanding ain't, "if you are not a biker then you are not *hit" (applies to the non-riders) but the inverse leaves us with "if you are a biker then you are *hit" for the Harley riders.

I doubt that was the message he was trying to convey.

 

[AnotherHiggins]

I offer the following in the spirit of linguistic discourse.

"The s word" is often used to imply the opposite of it's expected meaning, much like "bad".

If something is "the *hit", then it is very good.
(eg That party was the *hit!)

If someone "stepped in *hit", they have experienced good luck.
(eg The surgery allowed him to walk again and he won the lottery? He really stepped in some *hit.)

*hitty is a little more difficult. It is commonly used in a negative way, but is sometimes used positively. Often it will be said with a sarcastic tone to confirm that the intention is positive.
(You won free tickets to the String Cheese Incident concert!?! Dude, that's *hitty.)

*hitty can also be used to indicate a state of non-sobriety.
(eg Dude, I got totally *hitty at the party last night. What are we doing in the Chancellor's office and where are my pants?)

So while your literal translation of the shirt is correct, I think the shirt conveyed exactly what was meant.

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[Opieo]

@higgins

I have honestly never seen the word used in most of the ways you described.
I have heard people say "That is the *hit".
But that is it.
The line about partying, .. almost. Usually I hear people say that they got "*hit-faced".
Perhaps it is the difference in location as I am in Michigan and you may not be? I know the language changes slightly based on location but I have not even heard any of my friends across the internet talk like that.

I have always had the impression that anyone who swears like that through regular discourse is simply using those words because they lack the larger vocabulary.

As an aside, what makes *hit a swear word anyway? It doesn't even seem as bad as any of the others. Just seems like a non-humorous way to say poop.

~
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

 

[gbaughma]

Great link. It's the *hit.

http://www.chainletters.net/?item=434

Just my 2¢
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