Sympathy Card Etiquette 1

[Thadeus]

Hello!
So I came across this quiz and failed abysmally. I did answer honest to my opinions and did not try to beat the test. See how you do and maybe bring a thought or two from the quiz back for discussion...

I personally think they have it wrong on more than one instance.
A sample true or false question:
8. Proper grammar and sentence structure should not be tantamount concerns when writing a sympathy card.
It sets a poor argument because the inverse would be that grammar and sentence structure should be tantamount... which isn't what someone would argue. A better question would be:
n. Proper grammar and sentence structure should be important considerations when writing a sympathy card.
To me, this would be an obvious True. Because they ought to always be important considerations... not utmost or tantamount in most situations, but important, yes.

P.S. Having said all of that, I aplogize for my poor sentence structure and grammar in this (and many of my other) post(s).

~Thadeus

 

[Stella740pl]

I'm shocked that they expect somebody grieving to send thank you notes to everyone who sends them a card. I would never expect to receive one.

I don't think they do. They just apparently mixed up sympathy card with a thank you not, just as they did with paramount/tantamount.

 

[sha76]

I know they made that mistake for question 10, but this was question 6:
Q. If you are grieving and receive a number of sympathy cards, how should you acknowledge them?
A.Send notes of thank you as soon as you can

"Your rock is eroding wrong." -Dogbert

 

[Stella740pl]

Oh, this one.

I didn't actually take this test, just skimmed over it, so I missed it.

Where I work, coworkers usually (mostly from the same department) sign a group sympathy card, and often send some group gift, like flowers, or a basket of fruit to the grieving person's home. Then, I often notice a group thank you notes posted in the office from people who just recently came back from a bereavement leave to everyone who expressed sympathy.

I don't know for sure about personal cards.

 

[Ladyazh]

Q. If you are grieving and receive a number of sympathy cards, how should you acknowledge them?
A.Send notes of thank you as soon as you can

Like what???
'Thanks you for your card, we almost got over it and want to invite you to a bash party next week, please, come'

I do not picture people who sent cards sitting and waiting for the thanks you notes or else they will badmouth grieving party?

I am also want to say I wouldn't mind email because people can say more and better word it when it is not face to face. Most of people I think very upset and confused and do not know what to say. Card OR email both written by the same hands, so what is the difference except rmail is faster?

 

[Stella740pl]

Q. If you are grieving and receive a number of sympathy cards, how should you acknowledge them?
A.Send notes of thank you as soon as you can

Like what???
'Thanks you for your card, we almost got over it and want to invite you to a bash party next week, please, come'


No, I don't think it looks anything like that.
Those that appear posted at my job, say something to that effect: "Our family wishes to express our heartfelt gratitude to everyone of you who offered their support and consoled us with the warm words at a hard for us time of loss of a person dear to us."

I do not picture people who sent cards sitting and waiting for the thanks you notes or else they will badmouth grieving party?

I agree. I think not. No one is sitting and expecting one. And not everyone sends one, and that's fine. And badmouthing is not an etiquette-accepted move, you know. But, it appears, some people do send thank you notes - not at once, a little later (a few days to few weeks later), and, probably, it is not that bad an idea, since most people like being acknowledged.

 

[Ladyazh]

I believe in not expecting anything in return when doing a good deeds. Otherwise it loses it's purpose.

Thank you card after the wedding is expected but after the funeral it shouldn't be matter. IMHO

 

[CajunCenturion]

It's never wrong to say thank you.

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[Ladyazh]

But isn't it wrong to expect thank you?

 

[CajunCenturion]

The question is not about the giver expecting a thank you. The question is about how and when the receiver of the gift should say thank you.

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Good Luck
To get the most from your Tek-Tips experience, please read FAQ181-2886
As a circle of light increases so does the circumference of darkness around it. - Albert Einstein