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Snicker Stickers...
- Thread starter vb5prgrmr
- Start date
There was a good one quoted on the radio this afternoon:
Midwives help people out
-- Chris Hunt
Webmaster & Tragedian
Extra Connections Ltd
Midwives help people out
-- Chris Hunt
Webmaster & Tragedian
Extra Connections Ltd
- Thread starter
- #42
Recieved an email with real/fictitious??? but funny snicker stickers...
CREMATION
Think outside the box (with a casket)
I'M RETIRED
I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today.
When I was younger, all I wanted was a nice BMW
Now, I don't care about the W
I'm in the initial stages of my golden years.
SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP...
We got married for better or worse.
He couldn't do better, I couldn't do any worse.
I was always taught to respect my elders.
Now I don't have anyone to respect.
I asked my wife if old men wear boxers or briefs?
She said Depends.
Food has replaced sex in my life...
now I can't even get into my own pants!
I'm so old...
I don't buy green bananas
That Snap Crackle Pop in the morning...
ain't my freaking Rice Krispies.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy...
and some days I let him sleep.
Senior Campbell's New Large Type Alphabet Soup
I'm not old. I'm Chronologically Gifted
Florida
God's Waiting Room
I'm so old that whenever I eat out,
they ask me for money up front.
also attached to the email was...
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15 .. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
CREMATION
Think outside the box (with a casket)
I'M RETIRED
I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today.
When I was younger, all I wanted was a nice BMW
Now, I don't care about the W
I'm in the initial stages of my golden years.
SS, CD's, IRA's, AARP...
We got married for better or worse.
He couldn't do better, I couldn't do any worse.
I was always taught to respect my elders.
Now I don't have anyone to respect.
I asked my wife if old men wear boxers or briefs?
She said Depends.
Food has replaced sex in my life...
now I can't even get into my own pants!
I'm so old...
I don't buy green bananas
That Snap Crackle Pop in the morning...
ain't my freaking Rice Krispies.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy...
and some days I let him sleep.
Senior Campbell's New Large Type Alphabet Soup
I'm not old. I'm Chronologically Gifted
Florida
God's Waiting Room
I'm so old that whenever I eat out,
they ask me for money up front.
also attached to the email was...
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15 .. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
This wasn't a sticker but rather someone had painted these on their car. I was only able to read the writing they have printed on the back of the car above the license plate as they zoomed past me but I did notice the car was covered. I've seen this on cars that people think are lemons but I don't know if these two were about the car or themselves.
Birthstone: Coprolite
Poop happens.
James P. Cottingham
I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229!
Birthstone: Coprolite
Poop happens.
James P. Cottingham
I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229!
A guy I know is originally from Ireland. One day he was driving along and saw a womand driving a car with a bumper sticker reading "Treat me like the queen I am."
He pulled up next to her at the next light and flipped her off. Her husband rolled down the window and started yelling at him asking him what his problem was.
He responded cheerfully (in his thick Irish accent) "Where I come from, that's how we treat the queen."
The husband started laughing and the wife's anger shifted to the husband.
(For the record, this was stupid behavior on his part and potentially quite dangerous, but it does make for a good story.)
He pulled up next to her at the next light and flipped her off. Her husband rolled down the window and started yelling at him asking him what his problem was.
He responded cheerfully (in his thick Irish accent) "Where I come from, that's how we treat the queen."
The husband started laughing and the wife's anger shifted to the husband.
(For the record, this was stupid behavior on his part and potentially quite dangerous, but it does make for a good story.)
Annihilannic
MIS
I find those "BABY ON BOARD" signs you often see in rear windows irritating... what are you supposed to do, give them an especially wide berth or something?
My wife and I were trying to think up a funny alternative... "HUMANS ON BOARD" or... "EXPLOSIVES ON BOARD" (hmm... might draw the wrong kind of attention though!), but I saw a classic one the other day, someone had beaten us to it:
Annihilannic.
My wife and I were trying to think up a funny alternative... "HUMANS ON BOARD" or... "EXPLOSIVES ON BOARD" (hmm... might draw the wrong kind of attention though!), but I saw a classic one the other day, someone had beaten us to it:
EX-HUSBAND IN BOOT
Annihilannic.
KenCunningham
Technical User
Yes, I've seen that too Anni. The other annoying ones for me are 'Princess on board' and variants. Pass me the bucket.
Maybe 'Caution - erratic driving due to ADHD child on board' might be a goer, as that seems to be the all the rage these days!
The internet - allowing those who don't know what they're talking about to have their say.
Maybe 'Caution - erratic driving due to ADHD child on board' might be a goer, as that seems to be the all the rage these days!
The internet - allowing those who don't know what they're talking about to have their say.
hjgoldstein
Programmer
I have heard - though I have serious doubts - that these "Brat on Board" signs are there to prompt the emergency services to search for said Brat in case of an accident.
I think that they are just flaunting their fertility
It is time for pacifists to stand up and fight for their beliefs.
I think that they are just flaunting their fertility
It is time for pacifists to stand up and fight for their beliefs.
SantaMufasa
Technical User
Wikipedia apparently agrees with HJ on the origins of the "Baby on Board" signs. But an unintended use of the signs became freeway/motorway "Car-Pool-Lane" users in many locations who were trying to convey the message that the driver was not alone in the lane reserved for vehicles carrying multiple occupants.HJ said:
![[2thumbsup]](/data/assets/smilies/2thumbsup.gif "[2thumbsup] [2thumbsup]")
![[santa]](/data/assets/smilies/santa.gif "[santa] [santa]")
Mufasa(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
“Beware of those that seek to protect you from harm or risk. The cost will be your freedoms and your liberty.”
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