Signs of the Times

[LNBruno]

Search is broken, so I don't know if we've gone here before.

Lately, I've taken notice of some unusual and, I'm sure often, unintended phrases in signage. Here are a few. What are some of your favorites?

Sign...

...outside a chiropractor's office: "Trying to get pregnant? We can help!"

...in front of a South Florida paving company: "If you don't like the looks of your driveway, it's your own asphalt."

...in the window of a Mexican restaurant: "Children, buy one, get one free."

...at the local dry cleaners: "Drop your pants here, $2.95."

< M!ke >
I am not a hamster and life is not a wheel.

 

[flapeyre]

There used to be a Wagner's Meat Market in New Orleans, and his signs (and bumper stickers)said "You can't beat <company name>".

I just didn't have the nerve to explain to my wife why I was laughing at that...

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.

 

[jebenson]

I've always been particularly fond of the Secret Nuclear Bunker sign.

In the city I live in there's a tire company that has their motto painted in large letters on the side of the building: "If it's in stock, we've got it!"


I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

Arrrr, mateys! Ye needs ta be preparin' yerselves fer Talk Like a Pirate Day!

 

[ESquared]

Diaper Laundering Service:
"We're #1 in the #2 business!"

[COLOR=black #d0d0d0]When I walk, I sometimes bump into things. I am closing my eyes so that the room will be empty.[/color]

 

[cjelec]

There is a funeral company down the road from me, and they have an "Investors in people" sign on the front of their building.

 

[chiph]

I always thought that Tenkiller state park in Oklahoma is where they go to film teen slasher movies:

http://www.oklahomaparks.com/detail.asp?id=1+5U+3616

Chip H.


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[stackdump]

I saw a truck for a cesspit cleansing service today, the company was called "Suc-Cess Cleansing" with a slogan that played on the Ford campaign, "Everything you do, is driven by us"

 

[LNBruno]

Couple more:

...in a bank lobby: "In order to serve you better, we will be closed on Saturdays."

...on Cemetery Road in Tempe, AZ: "Dead End."

< M!ke >
Your right to an opinion does not obligate me to take you seriously.
- Winston Churchill

 

[Rofeu]

I've this powerpoint with signs in China, where they tried to translate to English. Don't know how to put that on here, but some examples:

In a restaurant:
"please keep chair on position & keep table cleaned after dying"

On the door of a chaning room for babies:
"Beware of People"

Above a dumpster:
"Poisonous & Evil Rubbish"

Cheers,

Roel

 

[sha76]

I was amused by an instruction in Beijing to "Please respect our monument & our railings". In fact, there were a few entertaining ones, will have to dig out photos!

"Your rock is eroding wrong." -Dogbert

 

[flapeyre]

One of China's road signs:

"Go soothingly on the greasy roads, for therein lurks the skid demon."

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.

 

[Trevoke]

In Pennsylvania, somewhere, a sign :

RESURRECTION CEMETERY
Make a right on Krocks Road.

Tao Te Ching Discussions : Chapter 9 (includes links to previous chapters)
What is the nature of conflict?

 

[flapeyre]

Whenever a vending machine or something breaks down, we print out this picture and tape it to the machine until the repairman comes.

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.

 

[LNBruno]

Seen in a joint: “All unattended children will be given a free puppy and cup of espresso.”

< M!ke >
Your right to an opinion does not obligate me to take you seriously.
- Winston Churchill

 

[LNBruno]

pizza joint, that is...

< M!ke >
Your right to an opinion does not obligate me to take you seriously.
- Winston Churchill

 

[CajunCenturion]

http://www.jibjab.com/view/105266

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[flapeyre]

CC:

Heh - I like that license plate.


Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.

 

[thefourthwall]

When I lived in Columbus, Ohio there was an auto parts store whose slogan was "We're open 7 days a week and that includes Sundays!!"

gee, ya think?

 

[Stella740pl]

"We're open 7 days a week and that includes Sundays!!"

I tend to think it was there for a good reason. They probably had a regular one, "We're open 7 days a week" before, but still got asked every day if they were open Sundays. Did you ever ask them?

 

[AnotherHiggins]

-> "We're open 7 days a week and that includes Sundays!!"

That reminds me of a Steven Wright joke. I can't find it online right now, so this is paraphrased:

Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.

I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours."

"Yeah," he says, "but not in a row!"

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[blue]-John[/blue][/tt]
[tab][red]The plural of anecdote is not data[/red]

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[Tbey80]

I worked in a Joke store when I was younger. We had two signs hanging one was "Unattended children will be sold" and the second was "Shop lifters will be prostituted"

At a batter store we had a sign behind the counter

"If you are not happy with your purchase please return the unused portion and we will gladly return the unused portion of your money.