Tek-Tips is the largest IT community on the Internet today!

Members share and learn making Tek-Tips Forums the best source of peer-reviewed technical information on the Internet!

  • Congratulations John Tel on being selected by the Tek-Tips community for having the most helpful posts in the forums last week. Way to Go!

Resignation Letter...

Status
Not open for further replies.

Kjonnnn

IS-IT--Management
Jul 14, 2000
1,145
US
I Don't know if this will get Red Flagged, but I thought it was interesting.

THE BEST RESIGNATION LETTER EVER

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at ??????, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

Dear Mr. ??????:

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few
true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to
provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the
blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to
do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that
terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and
kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with
all that free time!
 
Cute ... and things like that are definitely fun to write.

If you value your future career however; never, ever actually send them. Long after the sins of the evil boss are long forgotten, things like this remain on file and a corrolary of Murphy's Law says that they will resurface at the worst possible time ... like when you apply for the dream job with the buddy of the guy you sent this to.
 
Amusing, however, not true. See for details. But who hasn't wanted to write something like this at some point in his/her career?

Susan
You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.
Aristophanes, 424 B.C.

Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.
 
Yup. One more in the urban legends file.
AFAIK, Zantex isn't even a real company. Maybe they should have used a real entity to boost credibility.

"'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds." - Malaclypse the Younger
 
According to SF0751's snopes article:
Zantex USA exists in Palm Coast, Florida, but they professed to know nothing about this letter



Hope This Helps!

Ecobb

"My work is a game, a very serious game." - M.C. Escher
 
Ah. I totally glossed over that hit. They're in the pc recycling market. I saw "recycling" and just moved on...mea culpa.

"'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds." - Malaclypse the Younger
 
kjonnnn that was the best letter i have read in a long time
please please please please send it to the Ground squirrel

If you dont ask you wont get :)
Steve Poole
Technical Analyst
Cinram UK ltd
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Part and Inventory Search

Sponsor

Back
Top