Out of the mouths of babes... 5

[SantaMufasa]

...come some mighty interesting, typically humorous (mis)interpretations of the English language.

While we were listening to my collection of classic Simon & Garfunkel, my four-year-old granddaughter asked me:

Grampa, did Parsley save Rosemary in time?

What other corkers have you heard that proceded from the mouths of your, or others', kids?

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
“Beware of those that seek to protect you from harm or risk. The cost will be your freedoms and your liberty.”

 

[kjv1611]

I've heard TONS myself from our about to be 3 year old. However, I can't bring any to mind at the moment. I'll have to post some when I do remmeber..

Well, many of my son's have been mostly funny on the idea side of things more so than linguistics. And they have been hilarious.

Here are a couple examples:

Today, my wife told me that our son told her this:

I wanna go to an Island 'morrow, momma; just tomorrow.

Of course, he's implying that it's not a big deal, b/c he just wants to go to the island tomorrow. Granted, we actually could go to an island for a day, and come home, but it'd be at least a 4 1/2 hour or 5 hour trip, if I remember correctly, to the closest one off the SC coastline.

[LOL]

Another one he says quite often. Whenever he sees somebody else doing something we've told him not to do, or either he thinks wouldn't be a good idea to do, he'll just say:

We don't do that, daddy; we don't do that.

And of course, you gotta respond, showing him you hear him, or he'll repeat it until you do. [WINK]

It's hilarious when he sees something in a cartoon, and says the last one, b/c we know good and well that many of the cartoon things just aren't possible, regardless.

Those aren't the best... and I'll easily go off into toddler land on hilarities that I can think of instead of JUST language type funnies... So I'll stop for now until i can remember the specific word funnies.

Having a little boy has brought us more happiness than I could ever possibly imagine.

--

"If to err is human, then I must be some kind of human!" -Me

 

[gbaughma]

A funny one that I heard....

Who'da thunk it?

You are, Grandpa! You da thunkit!

Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[kjv1611]

[ROFL]

--

"If to err is human, then I must be some kind of human!" -Me

 

[gbaughma]

Or the exchange between my son and I, when he was about 4....

Me: Ray! Behave!
Ray: I am being have!

Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[gbaughma]

Or, another classic from my kids....

DAAAAAAAAAADDY! HE HIT ME BACK!

Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[genomon]

My niece (age 3) in the bathtub, singing merrily the lyrics she had just heard on her Lion King DVD:

There's a tuna inma tata!
There's a tuna inma tata!

Think she meant Hakuna Matata?

Cogito eggo sum – I think, therefore I am a waffle.

 

[SantaMufasa]

I've heard some good ones in the corridors at Church, as well:

Kid 1: Do you believe that stuff about the Devil?

Kid 2: Nah, it's just like Santa Claus...it's your Dad.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
“Beware of those that seek to protect you from harm or risk. The cost will be your freedoms and your liberty.”

 

[gbaughma]

Nah, it's just like Santa Claus...it's your Dad.

Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[KenCunningham]

I think I may have posted this before, but when he was about 11 my son told me he'd been reading about viagra and its use as an impudence cure.

Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks - make sure most are the former.

 

[Welshbird]

Not got kiddie stories (not having kiddies) but, my wee goggie (Poppet) does some classics.

1. Brother in law chucked her off the sofa because he wanted to sit by the fire. She was hugely affronted by this, and stomped off upstairs to wee on his pillow.

2. She managed to find a whole packet of dog biscuits, and hide them under the mattress in the base of her dog crate. She then waited until I had switched off all the lights and had a midnight feast.

Fee

"The cure for anything is salt water – sweat, tears, or the sea." Isak Dinesen

 

[SantaMufasa]

Woo-Hoo, Fee ! Poppet scores ! The only thing that would have stated his case better is if he had hopped up on Brother-in-Law and wee'd on him. <grin>

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
“Beware of those that seek to protect you from harm or risk. The cost will be your freedoms and your liberty.”

 

[LeeMcCauslin]

My wife to our then 5 year old granddaughter: "Do you want something to eat?"
Granddaughter: "Peanut butter and jelly sandwich please"
Wife: "Oh honey, you have on your new shirt and your mom will be picking you up soon, wouldn't like something less messy?"
Gd: "No, I want peanut butter and jelly"
wife: "We have ham and cheese - would you like that?"
Gd: "No - just peanut butter and jelly"
Wife: "How about some crackers?
Gd:

Spoiler

"WOULD YOU JUST GO IN THE KITCHEN AND FIX ME A DAMN SANDWICH!"

what I don't get is why I got in the most trouble - all I did was laugh for about 15 minutes...

"Dyin'? Boy, He can have this little life any time He wants to. Do Ya hear that? Are ya hearin' it? Come on. You're welcome to it, Ol' Timer. Let me know You're up there. Come on. Love me, hate me, kill me, anything. Just let me know it... I'm just standin' in the rain talkin' to myself."

 

[SQLSister]

My doggie is my baby, so here's a Rusty story.
The other night he woke me because he was dreaming, loudly. First I hear
GRRRRRR
Then
Yip Yip Yip
Then
GRRRRRRR
Then
Yip Yip Yip

for about five minutes. The funniest part was he never actually goes Yip Yip Yip, but it sounded a lot like the Chiahuahua who used to live with us and who was his buddy. Never heard a dog talk in his sleep in two voices before.


"NOTHING is more important in a database than integrity." ESquared

 

[LFCfan]

My friend when she was little, and her parents had said No, you can't have a chocolate bar:

"I'm so DEPRAVED" *stomps off in a huff*

~LFCfan

 

[Guest_imported]

In my last year of primary school, at speech evening, a guy a year below me made a speech about his hobby, which was keeping pet birds in an ovary.

Jim Brown,
Tech writer and training consultant,
Johannesburg,
South Africa.
My time is GMT+2

“And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. (Chapman, Cleese et al, 1975)

 

[SantaMufasa]

Many years ago, our elderly neighbor developed prostate problems that led to his having the organ removed. He had the procedure at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. The fellow's children and grandchildren also travelled to SoCal to show support and to take some time to enjoy the sights and sites of LA.

In addition to going to DisneyLand and the Beach, they also went to a live broadcast of the Lawrence Welk Show. Welk used to like to go out into the audience during his show to welcome and chat with audience members on camera.

He approached one of our neighbor's 10-year-old grandchildren and asked the boy if they live in the area or were just visiting. The boy responded, "We're just visiting. We came here while Grandpa is getting his prostitute removed."

Speechless and red-faced Welk quickly cut away to a station break.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]
“Beware of those that seek to protect you from harm or risk. The cost will be your freedoms and your liberty.”

 

[Annihilannic]

:-D Jim's story reminds me of when I was about 10, I had a conversation with a family friend on the beach where I talked at length about an octopus and its 8 testicles...

I was horrified when I realised shortly afterwards!

Annihilannic.

 

[flapeyre]

A classic:

Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?

-- Francis
I'd like to change the world, but I can't find the source code.

 

[hilfy]

When my youngest (now 19) was 3 or 4 we went to New England to visit my parents. She was out in a small rowboat with my dad and they were singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat where

Life is butter dream.

I still tease her about it!

-Dell

A computer only does what you actually told it to do - not what you thought you told it to do.