New KitKat! 4

[Toshilap]

I felt sudden urge for sweets. I saw New Kit-Kat in veding machine.I grabbed it and while eating it - reading the lable...
New KitKAt!
EXTRA CRISPY Twice the CRISp!*
* as regular KitKat

I am laughing now, do you?

 

[tsdragon]

Keep 'em coming people! I collect misleading or stupid statements from commercials. I'm collecting material to write a book on how to watch commercials and really understand what they are ACTUALLY saying, not what they want you to THINK they are saying. Haven't come up with a title yet, but that's a whole 'nother thread.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[Dollie]

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant"

(Attributed to many, no idea who actually said it!)

 

[Neil Toulouse]

On the back of a bag of peanuts from Sainsbury's (and probably on all nuts these days):

"Warning: contains nuts"

...no sh*t Sherlock...

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours...

 

[Neil Toulouse]

...and then there's driving down the motorway in dense fog, can barely see your hand in front of your face kinda-thing, and then you see a warning motorway sign coming up which you have to really struggle to read, making it even more dangerous on the road, as you're not keeping your eyes on what's going on ahead of you.

And when you can finally get it into focus it says "Fog". You don't say...!!!

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours...

 

[Toshilap]

Bridge might be icy (love to see it in a summer)

---------------------------------------
I finally got it all together and forgot where I put it.

 

[tsdragon]

I love the fact that, thanks to some clumsy idiots and some greedy lawyers, cups of hot coffee (and cocoa, and probably tea) now contain the warning: "Caution: hot coffee may be hot."

If it wasn't I'd return it.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[tsdragon]

Actually, cups of hot cocoa or tea probably would not contain the warning: "Caution: hot coffee may be hot." While that would be true, and possibly informative (in case you didn't know that little fact), it wouldn't apply to the contents of that particular cup. It would most like replace the word "coffee" with the appropriate beverage noun.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[AngelB]

Didn't McDonalds have to put a warning on their hot apple pies after people kept burning their mouths on them? I wonder were these people genuinely surprised after ordering a hot dessert, to find that - ouch! - it actually was hot?

Gez



Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all

 

[flapeyre]

Wacky Warning Labels

Feles mala! Cur cista non uteris? Stramentum novum in ea posui!

 

[tgreer]

The $250 second place award went to Matt Johnson of Naperville, Illinois for a label on a popular scooter for children that warns: “This product moves when used.”

When I was quite young, according to family lore, I had a scooter. I was scooting along when I snagged a rock, the scooter came to an abrupt halt, the handlebar came off in my hand, and I impaled my eye on the rod.

After the operation, I had to wear an eye patch until everything healed. Being a 3-year old boy with a black eye patch, underneath of which was a disgusting sight, led to many a young girl running, screaming, to her parents. Oh the joy of young Captain Tommy, scourge of the neighborhood!

Splints were applied to my arms, so that I literally couldn't bend my arms and thus mess around with the eye patch. This was a fitting torture for the scoundrel pirate, and for the woman who sired him, as she had to do everything, including feeding the rascal.

Creamed peas were on the menu. I insisted, for likely the ten thousandth time, that I could feed myself! "GO AHEAD!" was the frustrated reply. A large mound of creamed peas was painstakingly maneuvered onto the spoon, which after a moment's pause was predictably flung backwards all over the new drapes.

If it were up to my mother, I would guess that scooters would to this day carry the warning:

WARNING: Use of this scooter may lead to expensive medical and/or dry-cleaning bills.

Thomas D. Greer

http://www.tgreer.com

 

[SamBones]

This always cracked me up, in a book or a document, a page with the only words on it being "This page intentionally left blank".

I understand their need to stave off the confusion that would obviously ensue, but, well, it's just not blank any more!!!

Simpson's Moment: This isn't quite the same, but there was an episode where Lisa was disqualified from a beauty pageant because on the entry form, where it said "Do Not Write Here", Homer wrote "OK".

 

[tgreer]

I just wrote "the woman who sired him". That's not quite right, is it? What would be the correct equivalent term, "mared"?

Thomas D. Greer

http://www.tgreer.com

 

[SamBones]

Well, keeping with the horse theme, would it be "the woman who foaled him"?

 

[SamBones]

The correct equivalent term to "sire" would be "Dam". So would that be "the woman that damed you"?

 

[Dollie]

Frankly, I'd just say "momma".

;-)

 

[Dollie]

Oh, and for silly things....

In my convenient, portable, 1000 page Windows 2000 Server guide from Microsoft I found this in the back:

"Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of this book.

....

If you have comments, questions, or ideas regarding the bok, please send them via e-mail to

<MUNGED>@MICROSFOT.COM"

 

[SilentAiche]

Curses, Foiled again.

Kurt says, fold again.

Mared, with Children.

[green]Tim(ing) is everything[/green]

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