My recent experience with a help desk...

[gbaughma]

So, a couple of days ago I received, and started installing a new NVR (Network Video Recorder).

I had some problems getting some of the cameras to be recognized. They're made by a company that I'll just call "E-Link", to protect the guilty. (They're really re-branded vivotek cameras).

So, after calling the DVR software manufacturer, and spending some time on the phone with them, we realized that the cameras weren't responding properly, and I needed to call E-Link. Here's a snippet from the hour-long conversation with a person who spoke very broken english.

Me: "I'm trying to get your camera to work with (brand) DVR."
Them: "Does it work with E-View?*"
Me: "Yes, but I'm not using E-View, because frankly, it sucks, and I need the power of (brand) DVR. Your website brags that it works with (brand) DVR, and (brand) DVR's website brags that it works with E-Link."
Them: "What operating system are you running on your computer?"
Me: "Well, *I* am running Windows 7, but the (brand) DVR is running Ubuntu."
Them: "You need to make sure that port 80 is open in your router."
Me: "Umm... why? I'm not accessing it from outside of the company, the cameras and the DVR are both on the inside of the network."
Them: "What IP Address are you using?"
Me: "Umm... not that it makes a difference, but it's 192.168.x.x"
Them: (Here comes the amazing part) "I just tested that IP, and port 80 is not open on it."
Me: "Umm... how could you check my INTERNAL, NON-ROUTABLE IP address? Do you actually understand anything about networking?"

.....

Them: "What is your external IP address?"
Me: "That is none of your business, actually... and has nothing to do with the problem."
Them: "Well, if you do not have port 80 opened up in your router..."
Me: "I'm not TRYING to see the camera from OUTSIDE of my network!"

... back and forth for an hour... finally...
Me: "I need to speak to your supervisor."
Them: "Hold please...."

Supervisor: (broken english) "May I help you?"
Me: Explain again.
Supervisor: "That is not a E-Link product..."
Me: *Facepalm* *Hangs up*



Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly replaced his Dilithium Crystals with new Folger's Crystals."

--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[SkipVought]

Ohhhh. You must have been talking to *Bob*. I've conversed with him before, MANY times.

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[Noway2]

That operation could not be completed due to an error 1502495 state 5 code 15 in run32.dll. If the problem persists, contact your computer administrator.

 

[judgeh59]

I was an IT Manager for a while at a medium sized Payroll company and when I arrived they had an anti-virus system from a company called Pxxxa. Supposedly highly reguarded by Microsoft. We were having a problem and one of my guys was emailing back and forth and answers were very strange. The last response was "You server is too close to the server room door". Now how did they know that? It turns out, we think, they were in a foreign land and using a translator that needed help. We really had a laugh at that one. And we switched to Txxxxxxo. (Meager attempt not to embarrass bad company)

Be Alert, America needs more lerts

 

[SantaMufasa]

Allo...my name ees Peggy. How may I help you?

Sound familiar?

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
“People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

 

[kwbMitel]

Here is a comedy sketch from some local Edmonton Alta Boys

(Three Dead Trolls and a Baggie)

Internet Helpdesk:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nL24aNugo_4

**********************************************
What's most important is that you realise ... There is no spoon.

 

[philhege]

(Male Foreign Voice):
Allo...my name ees Peggy. How may I help you?

Sound familiar?

*dial tone*

-------++NO CARRIER++-------

 

[Michael52x]

Tell them you have an ID10T error, and they are it!

"Impatience will reward you with dissatisfaction" RMS Cosmics'97

 

[KenCunningham]

I don't think you can blame the (for want of a better word) 'foreign' helpdesk operators for doing their job to the best (or otherwise) of their ability. Blame the corporations who seem to believe that this really is an acceptable level of customer service, and vote with your feet/cash!

The internet - allowing those who don't know what they're talking about to have their say.

 

[hjgoldstein]

You can't always vote with your feet/cash though.

I needed to report a falling telephone pole to the monopoly infrastructure supplier BT Openzone and got through to an overseas based call centre.

I reported that the storm force winds the night before caused the pole to fall over to an angle of 60 degrees from the vertical and it was only being supported by the cable itself.

The response was almost to accuse me of causing the problem. I know the operative didn't mean that of course. It was merely the problem of not understanding what I had said and following a script in front of him.

As a monopoly, I believe that it is the supplier's responsibility to provide an acceptable level of service in this area, although I do realise that I am probably being naïve.

It is time for pacifists to stand up and fight for their beliefs.

 

[Noway2]

Can't always vote with your feet, that is true. Other times it just isn't practical or you are with the lesser of the evils. I had a great experience customer-no-service experience yesterday with Time Warner Cable who has a great reputation as it is.

I have separate residential TV and business internet accounts with them, though both use their payxpress service to pay your bill(s) through the web site, which I like to use because you get instant and email confirmation. This service had been down for several weeks, every time I tried. I finally contacted them by phone and learned that to have them process it was subject to a $5 "convenience" fee. Excuse me, the convenience here is that I am your customer and want to give you money so that you can have a damn job! I went round and round with this one and even asked them if I were to tell them to give me the disconnection department if there would be a "convenience fee" because we could go that route too. Now this isn't my first complaint with them by far. It is the latest in a long line of problems, including failure to show up for a service appointment, giving me defunct used equipment, etc.

The rep said that they would "make a note in my account" and they would credit me if I called back after the next billing statement. Huh, WTF? "Make a note in my account" is customer-no-service speak for I am not doing Sh!T. I then complained to the supervisor too.

After calming down, I called the business internet side, prepared for a similar battle. I informed them that the web site had been down and would like to pay my bill. They said that, "they would notify the IT department about the web site and would I care to make a payment with them over the phone at no charge?"

My question is, is the $5 over their mistake so important to them that they would risk losing my business, which amount to 20x that every month?

 

[guitarzan]

My question is, is the $5 over their mistake so important to them that they would risk losing my business, which amount to 20x that every month?

Generally speaking, the game is keep asking for a supervisor. Even a large company like Time Warner is unlikely to charge $5 for something dumb like that, you just have to speak to a person who has both the power to give a credit, and the intelligence to realize that they SHOULD give you the credit. Armed with determination and threats to move to another service (if you have other choices, that is), you may even get a discount.
<aside>
Where I live, my provider is cablevision, which is losing lots of business to Verizon FIOS, so they are willing to make concessions to keep customers. Other providers may not care as much.
</aside>

 

[JCreamerII]

I had one with AMEX. Going back a number of years, I had my AOL billed to my AMEX card, and couldn't get AOL on the phone to cancel, so I called AMEX to cancel the chage going forward. Long story short I calceled my AMEX card!

Jim C.

 

[Andrzejek]

and couldn't get AOL on the phone to cancel

Welcome to the club.
I also did try to cancel my AOL over the phone long time ago. It took about 25 answers in a row of “No” to do it (to a great amusement of my co-worker who overheard the conversation with so many ‘No’s from my side), after 15 attempts to reach anybody over the phone in a ‘cancel’ department of AOL. Interestingly enough, every time I try to dial ‘Sign me up for AOL’ phone number, there was a live, eager person right away ready to take my order and sign me up (they did not do ‘cancel my account’ orders)


Have fun.

---- Andy

 

[SantaMufasa]

I have a colleague with similar stories about AOL. He became so enraged with them that he Photoshopped the AOL logo to include two lower-case "ss"es between the "A" and the "O", then he posted his work all over the building and all over town. It seemed to relieve his tension a bit.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
“People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

 

[JCreamerII]

What surprised me was that AMEX seemed to think AOL was their client and not me. I had them cancel my current card and reissue, then it follow to my new card? After which I called and canceled my account and all cards associated with it. Next week I got a call from a rep and wanted me to pay a fee for my wife's card on my account. I told her I didn't have an acount any more and I told het that I told AMEX to cancel all of the cards over a week aog. She wanted to know my mother maiden name. Needless to say she got an earfull.

That's a big time company and they have their head up their As..
You wonder how anything gets done correctly anymore.

Jim C.

 

[Noway2]

What surprised me was that AMEX seemed to think AOL was their client and not me.

That is because the merchant fees that AOL is (or was) paying them far exceed any charges and interest that you were paying. In effect, AOL was their client, not you. In the merchant fee regard, AMEX is amongst the worst. My wife accepted one once and I heard her scream about the merchant fees when she got the statement. While for MC and Visa they are on the order of 0.21 + 2%, the Amex was on the order of $2 + 5%. I think she will refuse to accept them anymore.

It will be interesting to see how the cap on the merchant fees that is working its way through the legislation now will effect things. It was being discussed on my way home yesterday and the answer was that use of 'debit' cards will no longer be free to a certain market segment.

 

[JCreamerII]

Noway2,

I understood that part, but how long will they be making money off fees if they lose their card holders. They charge more for their cards and as you mentioned alot of small businesses don't take their cards. Also they had to know the game that AOL was playing, but decided to stick their heads in the sand. The fact that a customer couldn't halt or discontinue an external fee?

It's the disconnect with their customers that I find odd. In any business your relationship with your clients is the key to a succesful business. Once that starts to erode, it take alot of time & money to get it back. It's just good business.

Jim C.

 

[CajunCenturion]

It at least sounds like these help desks speak English, or do they?

--------------
Good Luck
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Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools because they have to say something. - Plato

 

[edfair]

I assume that AMEX is still as bad as they were back in the days when I mailed rocks in their payment envelopes.

Never did go to the extreme of pasting the envelope to a brick, but considered it.

Took them about 6 months to figure out that there was a problem with my account and about a month to figure out where and how Delta had screwed up the charges and find somebody at Delta who could fix it.

I've enjoyed my 40 plus years of bad-mouthing them.

Ed Fair
Give the wrong symptoms, get the wrong solutions.