More bad writing

[Scott24x7]

Was just reading an article on a bridge that was blown up in Washington DC, and one paragraph about the explosion said:

Seconds after Ruefly pushed down the ceremonial plunger at 12:34 a.m., a cascade of flashes lit the underside of the bridge and thunderclaps rolled across the river. The steel girders of the old span collapsed in a cloud of dust as spectators on a nearby overpass cheered.

The part that bothers me is "and thunderclaps rolled across the river". Wow... there are lots of things that bother me about that, but the most is, shouldn't this be a simalie? Shouldn't it at the very least have read "and like claps of thunder rolling across the river"? Dynamite is NOT lightening, and therefore can not be responsible for producing thunder? Or, I could have at least lived with "Thundered" across the river which has the implicit similie in it, but not as is written...

Just seems a strange usage of the word. I know you can have a thunder of applause for instance, but that is a qualified. thunder. In this case, it implies that thunder was produced...






Best Regards,
Scott

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, and no simpler."

 

[AnotherHiggins]

I don't find anything wrong with the paragraph at all.

As has already been pointed out, lightning is not the only thing that can produce thunderclaps. And even if a simile had been called for, a metaphor would have worked just as well.

"Wow... there are lots of things that bother me about that...". Anything else I'm missing? It seems fine to me.

Yes, I wouldn't disagree that it is a fine example of bad writing.

I just have to comment on this sentence. Given what the content says, I find it very humorous that it has such an obfuscated structure.

Yeah, yeah, spelling is for spell checkers, and this site doesn't have one.

May I suggest a word processor? Previewing, then copying 'n' pasting into a program with a spell check might be a good idea when posting to a group for which the stated purpose is, "The words we use and how we use them often reflect our professionalism. Light-hearted discussions on words, word usage, grammar, and related topics to improve our ability to communicate effectively and help project the right image."

TheManiac, I can't help but notice that the last two paragraphs you cited as containing bad writing were both from articles by Reuters. Are you sure you don't work for the AP? ;p

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[Grenage]

That makes sense. Explained as such, there is a clear distinction between the two. I did initially look both up in a dictionary but was left just as confused.

Thank you kindly.


Carlsberg don't run I.T departments, but if they did they'd probably be more fun.

 

[Gooser]

Bridge goes 'boom', crowd goes 'ooh'.

 

[MeGustaXL]

Flash! BOOOOM!!!! OOOooohhh!!!

$0.02

Chris

Varium et mutabile semper Excel

http://www.insys-ltd.co.uk

 

[sggaunt]

Aside..

Yeah, yeah, spelling is for spell checkers, and this site doesn't have one.

But you don't have to go so far as editing off line in a word processor, just download the Google tool bar, it has an excellent online spell checker which works well in Tek-Tips.


Steve: Delphi a feersum engin indeed.

 

[GwydionM]

I was a little surprised at steel girders turning to dust. Yes, I know what was meant, but it is just as bad as thunderclaps that walk on water.

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An old man who lives in the UK