Introducing new staff with appropriate names.

[flyboytim]

Our human resources policy is now to only recruit staff with appropriate names for the position they are about to fill, so without further ado:

I'd like to proudly introduce, from Shanghai, our new TCP/IP expert and Routing engineer, Mr Wan Lan Ping...

...and please give a warm welcome to my charming new PA from the Republic of Belarus, Miss Leila Ismailova...

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[flyboytim]

Ah, to work at a cemetery...I have always dreamed of having a job with a lot of people under me...I hear people are dying to get in there.

There's Lily Reith and her mam Oriel Cross, funereal florists, Ed Stone, monumental mason, Poul Berra, and the strangely similarly named Paul Bearer, part of the team that carry the coffins, Gaz Furness who fires up the crematorium, and "Cinders" Miller, whose daily grind is to process the remains.

The head groundsman is D. Plotts, the last in a long line of the family Plotts, assisted by young Will Berry.

Thanks to DansDadUK who has already mentioned the Gee sisters, Ella and Ula and there's E.P. Taff, who can often be found among the gravestones.

A very interr resting place, the cemetery.

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[flyboytim]

...and finally, for the knight with the best training record - Sir Lance-a-lot!

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[flyboytim]

Sorry, there is another - for the most profane, dyslexical, and ungrammatical knight - Sir Sword-a-lot

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[BadBigBen]

alas, you forget the knight who fell off his horse: Sir Swear-a-Lot

Ben
"If it works don't fix it! If it doesn't use a sledgehammer..."
How to ask a question, when posting them to a professional forum.
Only ask questions with yes/no answers if you want "yes" or "no"

 

[N1GHTEYES]

This one is genuine - I know because the person in question is a friend of mine. The ornithologist running the RSPB in Letchworth is Dr Peck.

However, I can't substantiate the rumour that the refrigerated transport department of our local supermarket is run by Mr I. C. Van Handler.

Tony

 

[flapeyre]

In the medical profession, we have the apocryphal doctors Ben Dover (gastroenterologist), and Billy Rubin (hematologist).

-- Francis
In Deo nos confídimus.
Ceteris pariatur.

 

[N1GHTEYES]

Don't forget Ben's friend, the Scottish dentist - Phil McCavity.

 

[flyboytim]

And Phil's friend who attends the cloakroom at the local theatre, Angus McOatup, ably assisted by Mahatma Coat...

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[hjgoldstein]

The guy who works at the number 1 commercial vehicle hire company, Hertz van Rental

It is time for pacifists to stand up and fight for their beliefs.

 

[flyboytim]

At our aquatics center, our curator of mammals is Adolf Finn, our deep water specialist is Ben Thick, and our popular Amazon River collection is literally single-handedly managed by P. Rana.

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[SkipVought]

My squeeze is Anna Conda.

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[N1GHTEYES]

Mine is Anne Aerobic. She leaves me breathless.

Tony

 

[SkipVought]

Anne Arexic: really has no taste.

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[N1GHTEYES]

Anna Morphic - I wouldn't call her shapely.

 

[SkipVought]

Anna Tomic! Woah! What can I say?

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[N1GHTEYES]

A. Spheric. I don't see her often - she's not round much...

 

[SkipVought]

A. Typical. Odd one 'e is.

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[SkipVought]

Sorta like Abe Normal.

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]

 

[2ffat]

When I lived in Michigan, there was a Doctor Docter at the local hospital. Funny this was, before he started, whenever they paged "Doctor Doctor," that was the code for a hospital emergency. Some of the older doctors laughed whenever they heard him being paged because they still got an adrenalin rush thinking it was an emergency.


James P. Cottingham
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[SkipVought]

A group of interns were given a hospital department orientation, including a trip to Shipping & Receiving for a dock tour.

Skip,
[sub]
Just traded in my old subtlety...
for a NUANCE![/sub]