Introducing new staff with appropriate names.

[flyboytim]

Our human resources policy is now to only recruit staff with appropriate names for the position they are about to fill, so without further ado:

I'd like to proudly introduce, from Shanghai, our new TCP/IP expert and Routing engineer, Mr Wan Lan Ping...

...and please give a warm welcome to my charming new PA from the Republic of Belarus, Miss Leila Ismailova...

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[BadBigBen]

Welcome our newest members to the Sanitation Staff: Mr. Ty D. Bowl.

our newest cook: Wyatt A. Mess



Ben
"If it works don't fix it! If it doesn't use a sledgehammer..."
How to ask a question, when posting them to a professional forum.
Only ask questions with yes/no answers if you want "yes" or "no"

 

[Annihilannic]

A doctor at our local surgery really is called Dr. D. Little.

Annihilannic.

 

[mscallisto]

The three stooges attorneys classic:

Dewey, Screw-em & Howe

 

[flyboytim]

Corporate appointments:

Employee of the month in the mince processing plant here at Macdonalds UK - Patty Pressburger...

Tess Tingwell, our new Head Operative at BP Capping Services will hopefully make sure we have no more embarrassing leaks, and will help to narrow the PR Gulf that remains between our offshore operations and the USA after the disaster of 2010.

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[hjgoldstein]

Double Glazing salesman in Dublin - Patty O'Doors

It is time for pacifists to stand up and fight for their beliefs.

 

[DansDadUK]

This is a variant of 'Late arrivals at the ball", popularised by the long-running BBC radio show "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" (ISIHAC - see

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I'm_Sorry_I_Haven't_a_Clue

).

There are lots of examples; e.g.:

Late arrivals at the Americans ball:

Cybil Rights, and her Irish cousin Bill O'Rights.

From Chinatown, that oriental-American artist, Yang-Kee Doodle.


Late arrivals at the Morticians ball:

The Gee sisters, Ella and Ula - they've been laid to rest a few times.


One (of many) sources of many more examples is

http://www.g0akh.f2s.com/isihac/Late_Arrivals_Page.php

 

[flyboytim]

In the Bank of Slovakia, Kasha Big?ek is our new favourite, and where better to go then than the Casino, where, on the blackjack table, Delia Goodhand is your croupier, and Tosti Dyson can be found supervising the craps table.

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[Turkbear]

Hi,
From 'Click and Clack' on NPR:

Our proofreader, Marge Innovera

More here:

http://www.cartalk.com/content/about/credits/credits.html

To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[Turkbear]

Hi,
OOPS.
Marge is their Statistician...





To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[SantaMufasa]

The surname of the music/chorus teacher at a local middle school is "Tea". Two of her boys are "Warren" and "Geren". (If you need either a guarantee or a warranty <grin> that they are real, you can verify them on Facebook).

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
“People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

 

[flyboytim]

Our lookout will be Amanda C. Varhoff, our blood-bank managers Carmen and Scarlett Bottles, and our British Railway Delays Spokesperson will be Leif Sondertrak.

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[randy700]

The new head of our complaint department is Mrs Helen Waite.
So, if you have a complaint, go to Helen Waite.


Randy

 

[flyboytim]

At our traditional orphanage, we are tight on discipline. Our correctional facilities are ably manned by our matron, Tania Botham-Ruffley, and her deputy, Thandie Hyde-Pinkley.
In charge of our laundry is Yuri N. Staines and our culinary facilities are managed by Lydia Cook-Ware.
Waste management is handled by "Dusty" Bin Laden.

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[flapeyre]

Morning shock-jocks Walton & Johnson used to sign off with:

Thanks to our producers, Bill Meady and Bob Oker, for another Meady-Oker production.

-- Francis
In Deo nos confídimus.
Ceteris pariatur.

 

[SantaMufasa]

My grand-uncle, Jefferson Hunt, married Helen. They lived in Twin Falls, Idaho. Aunt Helen, although not a hoarder, did have a penchant for collecting stuff. Because her reputation was town wide, she became the de facto &quot;Twin Falls Lost-and-Found&quot;. Even the Twin Falls Police Department sent her all of the items that people found within the jurisdiction of the department since it saved the deparment from allocating storage space for the items.

After losing his wallet at the Snake River Overlook, a tourist went to the police to ask them if his wallet had been turned in. Their response did not sit well with the tourist:

We suggest that you go to Helen Hunt for it.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
“People may forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.&quot;

 

[flyboytim]

In our hospital patients' canteen, the buffet supervisor is Amelia D. Slyke, assisted by S.Cherie Sheya-Coley, Lister Rhea and Sal Monella. The cutlery and crockery sanitizer is C.D. Fissile.

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[flyboytim]

Our inseparable fashion designers, William Fitzherbert, and Herbert Fitzwilliam will be joined by German stylist and coiffeur extraordinaire, Herr Kutz, whose specialities are severe helmet cuts, bobs, and pageboys.

http://www.fxxxingcomputers.co.uk

 

[BadBigBen]

lol... Flyboytim, that reminds me of the old military days in Germany, where the local slang (under the military guys) for the barber, which usually was German, was Fritz...





The new undertaker in town: Mr. Douglas Deep, he prefers people to call him Doug though...




Ben
"If it works don't fix it! If it doesn't use a sledgehammer..."
How to ask a question, when posting them to a professional forum.
Only ask questions with yes/no answers if you want "yes" or "no"

 

[flapeyre]

BadBigBen:
I know a Mrs. Gravely who works at a cemetery (seriously).

-- Francis
In Deo nos confídimus.
Ceteris pariatur.