Hypothetical question....re: careers and money 7

[BeckahC]

This is just a hypothetical question that came up in a discussion I had with a friend the other day and I was curious enough to want to get more opinions:

Let's say you're a programmer who is not paid terribly well (under 30K/yr) but you love what you do and where you work, etc.

Then someone comes to you with the possibility of a position elsewhere making something like twice what you are making, but doing something else, something you are capable of doing but may or may not enjoy as much.

I was kind of stumped at this question, as I had never really thought about it. On the one hand - I'm a "starving programmer" on the other I'd be a successful "not a programmer" but able to pay bills and such... I'm happy where I am, but I had to say I'd be tempted....

How about any of you out there? How do you think you might respond? BeckahC

 

[BeckahC]

goBoating,

I certainly didn't mean to generalize based on 2 children... though looking back, I agree I may have seemed to, though those were just 2 examples of extremes that I have personally observed....

I think it should depend on the individual situation... You made some very good points regarding daycare.

I never meant to have anyone base their decision - stay at home vs. go to work - on anything written here. I have personally been trying to weigh the pros and cons of taking a position that would give my husband and I a big financial boost - this was posed as a hypothetical question from a friend of mine and I was curious as to the input I would get from fellow IT people. My husband and I do not have children yet, although we are in the "discussion" stage, deciding when would be best to start, etc... My friend posed this question and caused a bit of a dilema for us... if we could earn that much more money, wouldn't it be better for our future and the furture on our children, even if it is in a slightly different field than what I am in now - not just a little more, but nearly double what I earn now...

So the dilema we've actually been discussing, though we did get a bit side-tracked, was that of which is more important to you - what you do for a living, or making enough money to support your family or help support your family better than you do currently...

Part of the dilema for me would be that if I were to take the "hypothetical position" my friend told me about my husband and I would have to put off starting our familiy for a couple of years - as I would never get pregnant when I just started working somewhere... I'd have to give it at least 1-2 years before considering it again.

Obviously the debate over whether to be a stay-at-home mom or use daycare is a very heated, personal debate that everyone is going to have different opinions on.

A friend's mother stayed at home until we were 16 and our younger siblings were 10... she regretted and resented giving up her career for us... now that she has been back to work for awhile their relationship is much better, but trust me - it is much nastier and upsetting and terrible to grow up in a home where you are resented and viewed as an obstacle than it to go to daycare... (It can also be very destructive to a marriage)

I do have some links at home regarding daycare, and other options for childcare that I have used for my personal research, which has been ongoing for over 10 years time. But as mentioned... this is a bit off topic, and not the point of this thread...

Thank you BeckahC

 

[BeckahC]

I noticed I said "us" and did not explain... she watched the 4 of us... our mom worked... BeckahC

 

[goBoating]

An interesting thread....

I focussed to narrowly on the child care issue. I guess my overall point is

"So, choose your priorities and pursue them. Just be honest with yourself about (benefits and) costs of either option."

I did not mean to ruffle or offend....apologies if needed ... just trying to do a case study on one issue involved in making life decisions.....

Again,...interesting thread. Thanks for the hypothetical.

'hope this helps

If you are new to Tek-Tips, please use descriptive titles, check the FAQs, and beware the evil typo.

 

[BeckahC]

goBoating,
I was afraid that I had offended, actually. No offense taken.

It is always interesting to pose a question like this... there are so many different views! So many possibilities!

I suppose none of us can really say for sure one way or another - we may react one way to a question such as this... but if and when we are faced with such a dilema in "real life" we may react rather differently! BeckahC

 

[BeckahC]

Same friend came to me and offered to make this hypothetical opportunity real... go figure - I figure I'll interview and see what the atmosphere is like... you never know! BeckahC

 

[jasek78]

wow.. Good Luck, BeckahC.

jason

 

[BeckahC]

Thanks Jason!

Turns out this would nearly double my salary - only problem is... It's mainly Access and Excel work - I'd be saying good-bye to SQL and ASP... at least for awhile... BIG adjustment....HUGE decision........

I think that's why this friend brought it up as a hypothetical question first - to give me the time to think it over.... BeckahC

 

[mcconmw]

Go for it...

 

[goBoating]

Good Luck!
'Hope it turns out to be something wonderful. 'hope this helps

If you are new to Tek-Tips, please use descriptive titles, check the FAQs, and beware the evil typo.

 

[BeckahC]

Thanks everyone!! I'm really starting to get excited - although, it means waking earlier, putting in longer hours, commuting to the city, etc... the $$$ and benefits... also, it is a really big, very well known company too!!!!

My head is spinning! s-) BeckahC

 

[elizabeth]

If you have the time, you could always offer to do a little ASP & SQL work on the side for your current employer, just to keep your hand in. At your old rate, they're getting a bargain!

 

[BeckahC]

That's true... I do feel like I'd be leaving my family behaind - but hey! I got married and moved out and I still see and speak with my parents - right?!

:-D BeckahC

 

[elizabeth]

Yes, I always found it interesting how many people spent a lot of time talking with their co-workers during work hours but not when they were off the clock. This may be unfair, but I wondered how much they valued the relationship if they only pursued them while they were getting paid to do something else, or because that's who was around at lunchtime, etc.

Another thought, I'm sure you aren't the type to burn bridges, so you can always ask if you would be welcome back, if you don't care for the new position. It's not likely you'd go back, but it's a really nice feeling when they say yes, and might help you reduce the stress of making the decision. My husband did this on his job last week before he put in for a transfer to a position that would be a promotion. His supervisor was very supportive and now he feels like the transfer is 'no risk'!

 

[BeckahC]

They will likely be begging me to come back! I have no back-up and cannot teach someone in the 2-3 weeks notice I would be forced to give in the event that I do get the job... As for maintaining friendships outside of work - I do have some that remain in the office - but I do have a "lunch group" of sorts, at least 1 person of whom I have gotten together with outside the office.. there were also several people from work who were at my wedding. I value all of my friendships - even if we tend not to have time to cultivate them as much as we'd like, our friends are still very important.

BTW - My Matron of Honor is a woman whom I met at work. She is now a Stay at home mom, but we get together at least once every week or 2 and call each other several times a week... I think I speak with her more than I do with my mom!

I get very attached... I'll be very likely to cry when I announce that I am leaving and will likely call and come by whenever I can... But I'll likely keep in touch with some, lose contact with others and maintain those few, but special friendships that I wouldn't be blessed with today if I hadn't have been working here for the time I have been... my main regret - not having the chance to get to know even more of my co-workers and having to leave before having my first child....

I'll be alright - continue to grow and change and develop... But I'll always miss this place! BeckahC