Funny Advice 3

[AlexCuse]

I started a new class last night, and had a few 'writing tips' in the notes (we will have to write quite a few reports). Thought you guys might get a kick out of these:

-Prepositions dangle awkwardly if you use them to end sentences with.

-Avoid clichés and colloquialisms like the plague, or you will seem old hat.

-Employ the vernacular, while eschewing arcane and obfuscatory verbiage.

-Overstatement totally destroys any credibility you ever had forever.

I'm sure you guys have some good ones along these lines. Lets hear 'em!

Alex

[small]----signature below----[/small]
With all due respect, Don Bot, I don't think we should rely on an accident happening. Let's kill him ourselves.

Ignorance of certain subjects is a great part of wisdom

 

[ESquared]

Bob, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic. Your sentence is more difficult to me than the original. I parsed the original sentence with little difficulty.

How about, "Why did you bring up the book I did want read to me?"

[COLOR=black #e0e0e0]For SQL and technical ideas, visit my blog, Squared Thoughts.

[sub]The best part about anything that has cheese is the cheese.[/sub][/color]

 

[keenanbr]

Esquared, have a look at

http://undergraduate.csse.uwa.edu.au/units/CITS7200/Lectures/2007/lecture7.pdf

 

[BobRodes]

< I can't tell if you're being sarcastic
You can't?

< "Why did you bring up the book I did want read to me?"
I assume you mean "didn't". "Why" of course conveys the same meaning as "what for", so yes, that eliminates one of them. However "Please read this book to me" does NOT convey the exact meaning of "Please read out of this book to me." I would accept "Please read from this book to me" as an equivalent. So, "Why did you bring up the book I didn't want to be read to from?" might work. Eliminating ending prepositions leaves something like "Why did you bring up the book, to me from which I didn't want to be read?" So, we have of course an improvement on the original...

Bob

 

[ESquared]

Still not sure if your proposed sentence was serious or not.

Er, yes I did mean "didn't."

However "Please read this book to me" does NOT convey the exact meaning of "Please read out of this book to me."

It can, but doesn't have to or perhaps doesn't usually. It depends on context. "Read a book" can be telic, implying completion, but it can also be atelic, a simple statement of incomplete activity as in "I read a book to Junior for 10 minutes and then he fell asleep."

Consider "see a movie" and "watch a movie." The former is always completed--you can't say "I saw a movie for 10 minutes, then I went home." But you can say "I watched a movie" to mean completed it and "I watched a movie for 10 minutes" to mean not completed.

So in context, the listener probably knows you mean the partial-completion sense of "read to me from a book" rather than "read a whole book."

Now to try to fix it so it's unambiguous:

Why did you bring up the book I didn't want to have read to me?

This seems to me to strike very close to the atelic sense meant by "to be read to from a book." That is, "to have a book read to me" seems completion neutral, not weighted toward one or the other. The listener would undoubtedly know what you meant since you are already referring to his certain knowledge of the book and the atelic reading situation of earlier.

[COLOR=black #e0e0e0]For SQL and technical ideas, visit my blog, Squared Thoughts.

[sub]The best part about anything that has cheese is the cheese.[/sub][/color]

 

[BobRodes]

<Still not sure if your proposed sentence was serious or not.
You can't?

<It can, but doesn't have to
My point therefore is that it is a less precise replacement of the original. Why, therefore, is it to be recommended?

 

[donbott]

How about "That book sucks"?

DonBott

Does not play well with others

 

[BobRodes]

<Does not play well with others

 

[BobRodes]

<Now to try to fix it so it's unambiguous
If it ain't broke....

<to have a book read to me" seems completion neutral
"To read out of a book to me" IS completion negative.

I accuse you (but in a nice way, of course) of watering down and ambiguating a phrase for purely pedantic reasons.

The difference between the almost right word & the right word is really a large matter--it's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning bolt. -Mark Twain

 

[ESquared]

I wasn't being pedantic at all!

I have no problem with the original, either reading or saying it. I thought I was just offering a simpler one for those interested. If you don't want it, never mind!

[COLOR=black #e0e0e0]For SQL and technical ideas, visit my blog, Squared Thoughts.

[sub]The best part about anything that has cheese is the cheese.[/sub][/color]

 

[BobRodes]

<I have no problem with the original, either reading or saying it.
You don't?

I didn't mean to offend you, ESquared. I'm sure that both versions have value.

 

[ESquared]

The ability to reword an awkward sentence and still capture the majority of its meaning is a valuable one.

[COLOR=black #e0e0e0]For SQL and technical ideas, visit my blog, Squared Thoughts.

[sub]The best part about anything that has cheese is the cheese.[/sub][/color]

 

[SimonDavis]

I like the illogical stuff. My wife (english is her second language) said the other day as we were driving into the car park at the local mall; 'Look over there, it's full of empty space'.

 

[DansDadUK]

Look over there, it's full of empty space

Reminds me of the story David Niven told in one of his autobiographies ("Bring On The Empty Horses") as to the origin of the book's title.
I can't remember the full story verbatim, and, anyway, it contains some profanity, so I'll not attempt to repeat it here - but it is extremely funny (in my opinion).

 

[SantaMufasa]

Dan,

Don't leave us hangin'...We'd love to hear the story, and if you are concerned about the profanity, we can use our imaginations if you use the standard $%&# replacement strings.

David Niven was not only an important actor/entertainer, but he was also a direct decendant of God, at least according to the kid that claimed he knew God's full name:

Our Father, who art a Niven, Howard be thy name...

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[TheRambler]

Here it is:

“Mike Curtiz was the director of The Charge and his Hungarian-oriented English was a source of joy to us all. High on a rostrum he decided that the right moment had come to order the arrival on the scene of a hundred head of riderless charges. ‘Okay’, he yelled into a megaphone, ‘Bring on the empty horses!’.

Flynn and I doubled up with laughter. ‘You lousy bums’, Curtiz shouted, ‘you and your stinking language…you think I know f---k nothing…well, let me tell you – I know F---K ALL!’”

 

[SimonDavis]

heh. I have another biography of Niven - the moons a ballon. It's a great read. He was an interesting chap.

 

[SimonDavis]

Sorry, scratch that, it's not called the moons a baloon, it's called 'Niv', by Graham Lord. The moon was another autobiography by Niven himelf.

 

[BobRodes]

>The ability to reword an awkward sentence and still capture the majority of its meaning is a valuable one.

To prove this point, we have "Cliff Notes".

 

[LNBruno]

...and Reader's Digest Condensed Books (still?).

< M!ke >
[small]I can say nothing, which is cowardly, I can lie, which is immoral, or I can tell the truth, which will upset people. - Tiki Barber[/small]

 

[SantaMufasa]

I admire any ESL (English Second Language) speakers that can survive this experience of speaking English without "throwing in the towel".

Years ago, we had a Japanese exchange student that was attempting to survive the American High School experience. Although all Japanese students must take English classes, rarely do those classes prepare students for the "American Experience".

One evening after school, she came to me and asked, "Dad, what mean gottagogetta?"

Imagining that one of her American classmates said something like, "I gottagogetta a book outta my locker," I explained that whoever said it was speaking very quickly and running together the words, "I've got to go get a book," which means, stated more correctly, "I must go get a book."

She seemed satisfied with that explanation. Then she asked me, "What mean 'bull shit'?"

I then borrowed her Japanese-English/English-Japanese dictionary, first pointing to the Japanese equivalent of "profanity", then "bull", then "shit".

She nervously giggled in the patented hand-over-mouth Japanese-female style and said, "Oh, I so sorry." I assured her it was not her fault that her friends used such language and that I am glad she came to us when there were words she didn't understand.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]