Fake names and silly words 2

[ESquared]

This is only peripherally language-related, but it is so amusing to me that I had to share.

I find it tedious and silly to have to provide my name, address, or phone number when I return something to a store, if they're not going to check my ID or a major credit card or something. I didn't have to supply my name to buy it! So I routinely sign obviously false names to these things, on the principle of the thing. Tonight I returned something I bought for my wife (no, the one with wings, dummy) and got the dratted form again. So I filled in:

Binkerbonk Monkeynoggin (Monkeysomething, anyway. I can't remember now.)
123 Monkey St
Orange Squishers CA 97111
831-697-7777

I have so much practice inventing random syllables or silly non sequiturs that I don't even hesitate. I even signed my name this way. (I think it all started with the Mad Lib games when I was a child. I absolutely adored those things and I've never been normal since.)

Does anyone else do anything like this? Do you fake-speak in any languages? I do, in Chinese. Can you talk in gibberish, sort of like Comedy Sportz entertainers do??

Erik

Note: I have never once been challenged when supplying one of these fake names, which sort of supports my point. And I have a plan in case it ever happens. I'll break down crying, and sob about the person making fun of my name and it's a really painful subject and can't he just leave me alone and boy he is sure cruel like everyone else in the world, and now that I think about it can you recommend any books on how to commit suicide? But if they actually press me, I will certainly then produce my ID and sign my real name and address!

 

[SantaMufasa]

Then there was Jeanette Johnson (at my high school) that married Gary Johnson (no relation), so her name has never changed.

And my sister-in-law's maiden surname is "Peck", so the newspaper wedding announcement was entitled, "Hunt & Peck". Their kids have awesome keyboarding skills.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[ncotton]

I know a few weird named people and a few unfortunately named people


Terry LaMartia (when pronounced over tannoy system, always said as "Terry the Martian")
Addell Pratt (A. Pratt)
Austin Tasnius (Austentatious)
Chew Mein (Chow Mein)

I also know a
Michael Jackson
Jon Van Bovvi (Jon Bon Jovi)

and just names where no thought was gone into them

John Maxwell Jnr Jnr II (MAKE AN EFFORT!!!)
Alex Andrew Alexanderson (AAA)
Claire Isobelle Samantha Round (Claire IS Round)

and a guy who had a perfectly normal name, but was incorrectly writen down on his birth certificate, so now he is still officially (well, may have changed it now)

CWRISS CURSHAW.....worst thing is..... he actually has a lisp.

Hope this Helps.

Neil J Cotton
njc Information Systems
Systems Consultant

 

[SantaMufasa]

I had an unsettling experience in May of 1975. Recall that the date was during the Fall of Viet Nam. I was a Computer Science instructor at a technical school in San José, California, at the time.

As a school, we did more than our civic part to accommodate the flood of Vietnamese refugees at that time. (Our student body was approximately 45% Vietnamese for many months during 1975.)

On the first day of the Summer Term, I began class as I usually did: Going around the classroom and having each student introduce her-/himself. I asked the next (Vietnamese) student in the row, "What is your name?"

V-Student: "F*** You".

(The Anglos in the class let out an audible gasp.)

I: "Pardon Me?"

V-Student: "F*** You".

I: "Perhaps now is a good time to take a quick break."

During the break, I went straight to the student and asked if I could please see his registration/immigration papers. He willingly showed them to me. Sure enough, as bold as it could be, his name: Phuc Yu.

Needless to say, we explained the "issue" with his name, and convinced him to change his name (both at the school and subsequently through the courts) to the more socially acceptable Anglicised version: "Phillip Yu".

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[Gooser]

Maybe I'm immature, (okay, strike the Maybe, if you must) but I frequently visit a bank in the international district of Seattle, where one of the loan officers has the DOUBLE entendre name of Richard Wang. Did his parents not know, or were they trying to be funny? I'll never know.

--Gooser

 

[SantaMufasa]

Gooser, Chances are good that "Dick" and his parents are ethnic Asian. Chances are equally good that if "Dick's" parents are first- or second-generation Asian, his given first name is not "RICHARD", but is something classically Asian. "Dick" likely chose his appellation for himself, unaware of the unfortunate consequences.

Such unfortunate naming could happen to even the most American amongst us...As I alluded in an earlier post in this thread, we have a naming restriction in my family, as well. My naïve, new bride had always dreamed of having a son named "Michael", and I had to be the one to dash her innocence and explain why no son of mine could bear that name.

And, BTW, what were your parents thinking when they named you "Gooser"? <grin>

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[Gooser]

Dave,

They knew I'd be a grab-a**, I guess.

--Gooser

 

[johnherman]

I have actually met the following people:
Dick Devine
Robin Hood (female)

and the following non-famous namesakes:
Kenny Rogers
Glen Campbell

and the following real people (imagine this marriage):
Charlie Queen and
Queen Victoria Baines

and for the best fake names, you need to get an old copy of the National Lampoon Yearbook. For you youngsters, before the National Lampoon movies such as Animal House (and even that is old, but widely rerun), there was a National Lampoon magazine and occasionally they would have special issues, such as the Yearbook.

Imagine names like these:
Rufus Leaking, Phil McCracken, Ida Noanbetter, Noah Liar, etc. Like Richard Hertz but a thousand times better.

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The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was - Steven Wright