Fake names and silly words 2

[ESquared]

This is only peripherally language-related, but it is so amusing to me that I had to share.

I find it tedious and silly to have to provide my name, address, or phone number when I return something to a store, if they're not going to check my ID or a major credit card or something. I didn't have to supply my name to buy it! So I routinely sign obviously false names to these things, on the principle of the thing. Tonight I returned something I bought for my wife (no, the one with wings, dummy) and got the dratted form again. So I filled in:

Binkerbonk Monkeynoggin (Monkeysomething, anyway. I can't remember now.)
123 Monkey St
Orange Squishers CA 97111
831-697-7777

I have so much practice inventing random syllables or silly non sequiturs that I don't even hesitate. I even signed my name this way. (I think it all started with the Mad Lib games when I was a child. I absolutely adored those things and I've never been normal since.)

Does anyone else do anything like this? Do you fake-speak in any languages? I do, in Chinese. Can you talk in gibberish, sort of like Comedy Sportz entertainers do??

Erik

Note: I have never once been challenged when supplying one of these fake names, which sort of supports my point. And I have a plan in case it ever happens. I'll break down crying, and sob about the person making fun of my name and it's a really painful subject and can't he just leave me alone and boy he is sure cruel like everyone else in the world, and now that I think about it can you recommend any books on how to commit suicide? But if they actually press me, I will certainly then produce my ID and sign my real name and address!

 

[RegistrationMark]

There has to be a gajillion of these, most of which have been used in crank calls to Moe's tavern.
Ben and Eileen Dover is a classic.
Hugh Jass
Phillip McCrevass
Les Moore
Anita Mann
(stop)

 

[jebenson]

If you live in a large(ish) urban area in the US (not sure if this goes on in the UK as well...check it out for us, Brit friends!) look in the phone book's residential pages for Skjellyfetti, McGannahan (McGannahan Skjellyfetti). This is a codename used by Deadheads (i.e., fans of the band The Grateful Dead). If you are a Deadhead in need of a place to stay for a while, you can look up McGannahan Skjellyfetti in the phone book, give the number a call, and usually have a couch or piece of floor to crash on for a few days.

The name McGannahan Skjellyfetti was used by The Grateful Dead as the composer of several of their songs. They apparently got the name from a character in a novel called "Memoirs of a Shy Pornographer".

An now actually on-topic, I use:

John Smith
123 N. South St. (or, 321 S. North Ave.)
Peoria, IL 12345
John@smith.orc

I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

Arrrr, mateys! Ye needs ta be preparin' yerselves fer Talk Like a Pirate Day! Ye has a choice: talk like a pira

 

[2ffat]

Happy belated holidays
from Murray Chris Moose.

 

[Ladyazh]

I warked with a girl name Sundae.
At first I though people were insane telling me to ask Sundae which sounded to me like Sunday. So I was in emotional jamm for a while

 

[jebenson]

I once knew a woman named Pearly Gates. She hated her parents for giving her that name.



I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

Arrrr, mateys! Ye needs ta be preparin' yerselves fer Talk Like a Pirate Day! Ye has a choice: talk like a pira

 

[flapeyre]

I work for a company that owns funeral homes and cemeteries. One of our cemeteries had a receptionist whose last name is Gravely.

Not sure about Diggs or Berry, though .

Tibi gratias agimus quod nihil fumas.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Some of you are aware that my surname is "Hunt". My Uncle Jeff's wife, Helen, was the clerk in charge of the "Lost and Found" desk, during the 1950s, for Twin Falls, Idaho Police Department.

I recall a tourist who had lost his wallet at the Snake River Overlook in Twin Falls. He went to the Police Department and asked what he should do if he had lost his wallet.

The tourist became rather upset and offended when the officer suggested:

You can go to Helen Hunt for it.

(For full effect, you must quote the officer out loud.)


And, No, I have no relatives named, "Michael". As a family, we are under strict instructions never to allow a child, born to our men and their wives, to have that name.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[karluk]

When I was a kid, I was inspired by the old TV show, "The Fugitive", to create an alias for myself. I was impressed by the way Richard Kimball always was able to come up with a new alias without the slightest hesitation, and figured I had better be prepared too. After all, one never knows when one will be on the lam from the long arm of the law while trying to track down the one-armed man who is the real culprit.

The name I picked was "Frank Almi". It is based on the biographies of two people I had read about at the time. "Frank" is from "Frank Thompson", the pseudonym of a woman who disguised herself as a man and enlisted in the Union Army during the (U.S.) Civil War. "Almi" is an abbreviation of "aluminum". It comes from Charles Martin Hall, who is the person who discovered how to cheaply extract aluminum metal from bauxite. I didn't know it at the time, but I found out later that "Alme" is a fairly common surname, so that made "Frank Almi" sound more authentic.

The most daring I ever got with this alias was to use it when checking into a hotel room. Nowadays I couldn't get away with it, since I invariably use a credit card to rent a room. But I'm still prepared, just in case the cops ever try to frame me for some nefarious crime.

 

[mmerlinn]

I did a nationwide search using Superpages for both McGannahan & Skjellyfetti as surnames and came up with nothing.


mmerlinn

"Political correctness is the BADGE of a COWARD!"

 

[p5wizard]

Paging passengers Mr. Al Kyder and Mr. Terry Wrist...

http://www.videosift.com/index.php?search=airport,+security,+prank&tag=true

p5

 

[Welshbird]

I used to play golf with someone who's surname was 'Dick', and his mother must have had a horrible labour. She called him 'Justin'

Fee

The question should be [red]Is it worth trying to do?[/red] not [blue] Can it be done?[/blue]

 

[mjldba]

jebensen: The GM of my last employer was named Al Spoerl and his wife had to love him dearly 'cause her name is Pearl.

 

[SantaMufasa]

My co-worker and his wife are "Aaron and Erin Smith"...And their little boy and girl are, of course, "Aaron, Jr." and "Erin".

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[ESquared]

Now that's just silly! Laugh.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Perhaps, E[sup]2[/sup], but just think of how easy it is to answer the question from the telephone caller:

Hello, is Aaron(Erin) there?

The answer is always "Yes" as long as someone answered the phone.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]

 

[ESquared]

I always thought it would be funny if I had married an Erika.

 

[MallardVHS]

>> "CBL": I think MallardVHS and SilentAiche were separated at birth ... or maybe one of them has a split personality.


.o.l.i: ?? Sounds like a TV script to me. "Twin Beaks" or some such.



We resent that, by the way.

uno >?

[green]Tis far easier to keep your duck in a row if you just have the one.[/green]

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

I've just clued in ... MallardVHS = Duck-Tape ... right?

Making a pun of your handle is taking puns to a new level. Did you Beta test it first?

Sorry to feather my own nest using your name, but it just quacked me up.

And "Twin Beaks" would probably be a flyaway success if played on the World Wide Webfoot.

[Cheers]

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

Santa ... Do you pronounce Aaron and Erin the same then?

Air-on vs Eh-rin ... similar but distinct to my accent & ears.

[Cheers]

 

[SantaMufasa]

In the U.S., we tend to pronounce both as "Air-un".

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)
[I provide low-cost, remote Database Administration services: www.dasages.com]