Fake names and silly words 2

[ESquared]

This is only peripherally language-related, but it is so amusing to me that I had to share.

I find it tedious and silly to have to provide my name, address, or phone number when I return something to a store, if they're not going to check my ID or a major credit card or something. I didn't have to supply my name to buy it! So I routinely sign obviously false names to these things, on the principle of the thing. Tonight I returned something I bought for my wife (no, the one with wings, dummy) and got the dratted form again. So I filled in:

Binkerbonk Monkeynoggin (Monkeysomething, anyway. I can't remember now.)
123 Monkey St
Orange Squishers CA 97111
831-697-7777

I have so much practice inventing random syllables or silly non sequiturs that I don't even hesitate. I even signed my name this way. (I think it all started with the Mad Lib games when I was a child. I absolutely adored those things and I've never been normal since.)

Does anyone else do anything like this? Do you fake-speak in any languages? I do, in Chinese. Can you talk in gibberish, sort of like Comedy Sportz entertainers do??

Erik

Note: I have never once been challenged when supplying one of these fake names, which sort of supports my point. And I have a plan in case it ever happens. I'll break down crying, and sob about the person making fun of my name and it's a really painful subject and can't he just leave me alone and boy he is sure cruel like everyone else in the world, and now that I think about it can you recommend any books on how to commit suicide? But if they actually press me, I will certainly then produce my ID and sign my real name and address!

 

[r937]

i always use

Joe Example (joe@example.com)
123 Sesame Street
Eureka, Kansas, 90210

and on web forms, i always try to choose Bouvet Island as my country, which is hilarious, because nobody actually lives there

https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/bv.html

r937.com | rudy.ca

 

[stackdump]

I've used name such as Crispin Dry, Dryden Ironed, Mahatma Coat, Mustafa Nalias etc.

What's really embarassing is when I see what I think is a joke name only to find out that it's actually correct! A prime example of this was when I met a "Donald Duck" and also a "Mary Christmas" (both real). Some foreign ones were "Park Yung Bum" and also "Bo Ng" (also both real).

So beware! I would add that all four people were aware of how their names appeared and were very good humored about them. So I dont feel too bad about mentioning them. (I do know one more, but its a little rude and the guy is definitely not good humored about it!)

 

[sleipnir214]

When I was in high school, my friends and I created an imaginary student and enrolled and registered him in classes each year. When I do not feel like providing my real name, his name, David A Burrows, comes to mind quite readily.



In a related vein, when I was in high school we took 16 or 17 standardized tests, aside from the SAT and ACT but of that type, in our junior or senior years. One of my friends got curious about how his personal information was being used and deliberately misspelled his name differently on each test. He'd add a letter here, take one out there, etc., all intended to make it look like honest typos. He even did it for the ACT and SAT.

Keep in mind we graduated high school more than 25 years ago. My friend says that he still occasionally comes across those phantom versions of himself in some database somewhere.


Want the best answers? Ask the best questions! TANSTAAFL!

 

[jrbarnett]

I do the same. I do, however, have a real email account from one of the free email providers that I provide the address to when required. I also use this address when filling in web forms that require one.

Occasionally (about once a month) I check this account. I've never had any of the promised notifications about product improvements/patches or new site launches, having heard about any of them beforehand. Instead, its full of spam advertising all sorts of products and services that I don't need.

I don't make up an email address simply because I have no way of checking whether it may be a real address for some poor individual somewhere else on this planet. Sure, I could try a whois on the domain name and see if there is a website on www. whatever, but it could still be used for email. I can't be bothered though.

John

 

[r937]

john, use example.com -- it has no valid emails, and one very interesting site (if you've never seen it)

r937.com | rudy.ca

 

[jrbarnett]

Thanks Rudy, will use that from now on.

John

 

[chiph]

I like to make up names for restaurants that call your name when your order is ready.

Sue! Order for Sue! Wait... you're a guy.

{aggrieved} Yeah, yeah, it was my dad's favorite song. Gimmie my sandwich.

Fun every time.


____________________________________________________________________
If you want to get the best response to a question, please read FAQ222-2244 first

 

[ESquared]

Ooh, I like to give fake names at restaurants when I am waiting to be seated. An actual occurrence:

Fishcake, party of four!

The woman who made the announcement was unsuccessfully attempting to stifle giggles.

I should tell about some of the silly things I've done in public just for laughs. Then again, maybe I shouldn't.

 

[MallardVHS]

I nominate "Kontints."

"Paging Mr. Kontints. Your table is waiting..."

hav efun!

[green]Tis far easier to keep your duck in a row if you just have the one.[/green]

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

OK 'fess up ... who else is thinking of Michael Hunt of "Porky's" fame?

[Cheers]

 

[ESquared]

I don't get "Mr. Kontints.

 

[Welshbird]

Nor me...

Fee

The question should be [red]Is it worth trying to do?[/red] not [blue] Can it be done?[/blue]

 

[KenCunningham]

CorBlimeyLimey. I confess that was the first thing that popped into my head when I read this thread too!!

I don't mind people who aren't what they seem. I just wish they'd make their mind up.

 

[flapeyre]

Sheesh - I had no idea that the Porky's films were so popular in the UK.

When I was designing a database for a collection agency, years ago, I tested it using a client I called "The Law Firm of Dewey, Cheathem, and Howe" (comes from a Three Stooges gag).

Tibi gratias agimus quod nihil fumas.

 

[gbaughma]

I couldn't help thinking of Monty Python's "Life of Brian"

(Spoken with an obvious lisp)

"And do YOU find it humorous... when I speak of my friend... Biggus Dickus?????"

(At which point guards are trying not to laugh....)

"He has a wife, you know! Incontinentia! Incontinentia Buttocks!"



Just my 2¢

"What the captain doesn't realize is that we've secretly exchanged his dilithium crystals for new Folger's Crystals." -- My Sister
--Greg

http://parallel.tzo.com

 

[mjldba]

Many years ago I was a nightclub DJ at a dance club that had a thriving dinner business so it was my responsibility to page groups when their table was ready.

I had no problem with "May I have your attention please, would the Stevens party please go ot the hostess station, your table is ready. Stevens party to the hostess station please" because that was the standard page format that the owner wanted me to use.

One night I had to page the Paddy party & it sounded pretty ridiculous. I actually had a customer ask me if I made that one up 'cause it made everyone in the back of the bar laugh.

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

You may need SilentAiches help deciphering that one.

But here's my attempt:
"Kontints" = German for "contents" (I think) so it's a play on the words;
Paging ... Contents ... Table


I think MallardVHS and SilentAiche were separated at birth ... or maybe one of them has a split personality.

[Cheers]

 

[SamBones]

Whenever giving a name for a group at a restaurant, I usually say 'The last name is "Wild"' (not really my last name). This usually results in...

"Wild party of four, your table is ready

 

[ESquared]

There's always "Donner" as in "Donner party, your table is ready."

Lately I've been slacking and just giving my real name. I'm going to stop that!