Error Messages 1

[BJCooperIT]

I adore error messages that convey something totally unexpected. This one is courtesy of Reader's Digest:

My husband, Mark, was planning to attend a conference and was looking at airline schedules on the Internet. As he checked different combinations of flights, he mistakenly keyed in a return time that was before the departure time, only to see this message appear on the computer screen: "Sorry, time travel is not permitted."

[sup]Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.[/sup][sup] ~George Bernard Shaw[/sup]
Consultant Developer/Analyst Oracle, Forms, Reports & PL/SQL (Windows)
My website: Emu Products Plus

 

[GwydionM]

There is the classic link-search that will say "{x} does not exist" if it fails to find it. Such as "God does not exist".

It should say "This computer can not find {x}" - quite hard to find a search it would be stupid with.

There are also systems that will speak about 'matricide' and 'infanticide'.

------------------------------
An old man who lives in the UK

 

[grande]

This computer can not find anything"?

I know, it's a stretch.

-------------------------
Just call me Captain Awesome.

 

[tsdragon]

I'd like to find the programmer who wrote that "time travel" error message and buy him/her a beer! It isn't often enough that that kind of (entirely appropriate) humor finds its way into programming.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[BIS]

I once fell off my chair trying to install PC Anywhhere (i think - long time ago). Halfway through it crashed and popped up a nice little yellow box stating:

"Error loading error mesage

 

[jebenson]

I was one installing and app on a PC (I think it was Symantec AV), and I got a dialog that stated (paraphrased, because I don't recall the exact wording), "There are not enough system resources to display this dialog."


I used to rock and roll every night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find 30 minutes a week in which to get funky. - Homer Simpson

 

[KenCunningham]

I have to admit that 'cannot grok.....' (or similar) always used to confuse me in my early unix-learning days.

 

[tgreer]

I always code "interesting" error messages. In fact, I try to avoid them: if you know enough to code a meaningful error message, you likely know enough to simply correct the issue or possibly provide some "was this what you were trying to do?" options instead of a bland error message.

We had a user who would always get confused, and instead of backing-out would CTRL-ALT-DEL. This caused all sorts of problems. We finally had to write a trap for that within our programs.

The error message was "Valera, you can't do that. Call Tom."



Thomas D. Greer

http://www.tgreer.com

 

[Turkbear]

Hi,
We had a similar programmer one place I worked who set his Fortran program to count the # of times a particular error was made by the data entry person ( there was one entry that was often transposed by this particular person) and, if made 3 times in a row, displayed the message
'You know how to do this...Focus or I'll call my Human'

The first time it popped up, the programmer had to run for cover....




To Paraphrase:"The Help you get is proportional to the Help you give.."

 

[BJCooperIT]

Found this site just for fun: http://atom.smasher.org/error/]Atom Smasher's Error Message Generator[/url]



[sup]Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.[/sup][sup] ~George Bernard Shaw[/sup]
Consultant Developer/Analyst Oracle, Forms, Reports & PL/SQL (Windows)
My website: Emu Products Plus

 

[PaulTEG]

real artificial intelligence ... unprogrammed linux box reveals profound answers about our universe.

Don't shoot the messenger, it's a follow on from the "time travel not permitted quote :-D

 

[elanor]

My favorite error message is "You should not see this message."
Thanks!
Elanor

 

[GwydionM]

In my early days, I'd soemtimes place messages like that. But we soon learn that no computer is ever wholly predictable.

------------------------------
An old man who lives in the UK

 

[SajidAttar]

Keyboard not found, press F1 to continue.

:-D

 

[snuv]

Error:- Universe does not match calculated reality. please reboot universe!

"If it could have gone wrong earlier and it didn't, it ultimately would have been beneficial for it to have." : Murphy's Ultimate Corollary

 

[jsteph]

I used to try to get all wordy and explanatory in my error messages, but to most users, that was always too much info. So on messages that were fatal to the program, my dialog always said:

A Bad Thing happened. Please call the IT dept.

Each program would log to a text file info that was useful to whomever in the IT dept. was called.
--Jim

 

[Golom]

Check out Richard Harter's Obsequious Programs

 

[TheRambler]

Thanks Golom, I also enjoyed the Haiku Error Messages page.

 

[2ffat]

I have a program on our shop floor. Since they are doing things besides looking at the screen, like keeping their hands aways from sharp knives, I add sound to the program. For errors, I say, "Oh no!". It gets their attention.

What's funny is to quietly walk up behind them and say it. Their first reaction is to look at the screen, then start hollering about something being wrong with no error message.

James P. Cottingham
-----------------------------------------
[sup]I'm number 1,229!
I'm number 1,229![/sup]

 

[tsdragon]

My boss likes to use "Houston we have a problem!" when an error occurs in programs that are usually minimized.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.