Error Messages 1

[BJCooperIT]

I adore error messages that convey something totally unexpected. This one is courtesy of Reader's Digest:

My husband, Mark, was planning to attend a conference and was looking at airline schedules on the Internet. As he checked different combinations of flights, he mistakenly keyed in a return time that was before the departure time, only to see this message appear on the computer screen: "Sorry, time travel is not permitted."

[sup]Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.[/sup][sup] ~George Bernard Shaw[/sup]
Consultant Developer/Analyst Oracle, Forms, Reports & PL/SQL (Windows)
My website: Emu Products Plus

 

[JediBMC]

One of our server techs uses Homer Simpson's "Doh!" when a server error is generated. When the power drops, it is like a musical of singing Homers.

-Brian-
I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV.

 

[Chopstik]

One of the joys of web development is being able to redirect people to certain sites if the users do things they shouldn't be doing. My personal favorite was setting up a small part of one site where I had in printed in bold letters "Under Construction, please do not click as it may cause an error" knowing, of course, that is precisely what people would do. I left a small script that would give them a popup informing them that an email would be sent to their boss informing them that the offender clearly could not follow simple instructions unless they purchased a new gift for the developer (yours truly) from one of two sites - either ThingGeek.com or StarWars.com, depending upon which one they chose from the popup to which they would subsequently be redirected.

Oddly enough, I never did get any gifts from those people... Bunch of cheap bast... Um, never mind...


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I am not young enough to know everything."
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

 

[elanor]

I once reclicked a link that seemed to be taking an awfully long time to open and received the message "Patience is a virtue!" I laughed and blushed at the same moment!
Thanks!
Elanor

 

[TheRambler]

This warning "poem" was found by hackers embedded inside Mac OS X latest version:

Your karma check for today:
There once was a user that whined
his existing OS was so blind,
he'd do better to pirate
an OS that ran great
but found his hardware declined.

Please don't steal Mac OS!
Really, that's way uncool.

I guess that Apple's engineer could have asked here first, we would have given him/her some ideas, wouldn't we?

 

[SajidAttar]

Hi Everybody!!!

Today I was going through Microsoft website and found this Error and thought a new error in MS Dictionary .



Regards,


"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure." -- Colin Powell

 

[KenCunningham]

The misspelling of occurred is also somewhat worrying!

 

[mikeydidit]

I came across one last night that I just have to share. I was exiting out of a program last night, and of course it wasn't going as fast as I like it to. So I hit the cancel button again. I received the following message.

"Please be patient. I heard you the first time."

Someone is having too much fun at their job... Too funny.




Mikey

 

[KenCunningham]

Nice one Mikey, I like that. Very Hal.

 

[faxof]

talking of ununderstandable messages:

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard-drive?

 

[phuzzy42]

There was a DOS error called -

Unprintable error

I never knew if it was because something couldn't be sent to the printer, the screen wasn't big enough to hold it, or the computer just didn't want to cuss.

 

[chipperMDW]

This warning "poem" was found by hackers embedded inside Mac OS X latest version:

Why would someone embed hackers in Mac OS X?

 

[PaulTEG]

and what were they doing, looking for a poem ...

Paul
------------------------------------
Spend an hour a week on CPAN, helps cure all known programming ailments ;-)

 

[RCorrigan]

Just got this one from McAfee's site !!

Search Results   
RuntimeError  
 
Can't find bundle for base name GlobalWidget, locale en_IE  
 
Error on Search Entry Widget

I thought widgets were in beer cans !!!!

<Do I need A Signature or will an X do?>

 

[TheRambler]

Well spotted chipperMDW.
Looks like I was following Plain Language's advice:

You're better off with passive voice. Active voice annoyingly insists on placing attribution to actions, and we all know that sooner or later somebody's going to get fired for being attributed to something. English-major weenies insist that passive voice is bad, but that's because they have no real authority and therefore are in no great danger of getting fired for anything. Put them in management and see how quickly they adopt passive voice.

 

[Kirsle]

The instruction at "0x01a2cd11" referenced memory at "0x01a2cd11". The memory could nto be "read".

I wonder why it felt the need to quote "read"? Maybe Dr. Evil wrote this error message. :-D

 

[IknowMe]

I think perhaps it was written by Scott, wouldn't Dr. Evil's error message be something more like this.

The instruction at "0x01a2cd11" referenced memory at "0x01a2cd11". The memory could be "read" for "one MILLION dollars".

Wow, I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I think I've forgotten this before.

 

[PatrickIRL]

MrMilson, great signature line, that had me laughing out loud, thanks!

 

[CRilliterate]

Me too...

________________________________________
I am using Windows XP, Crystal Reports 9.0 with SQL Server

 

[gbaughma]

I admit it. I have a bit of a sense of humor when it comes to programming. I comment my code, but it's often silly comments (since I *should* be the only one to see them)... stuff like:

' Danger will robinson! If xxx != yyy then the row that was *just there* isn't any longer.... report an error....

... at which point I give an error message to the point of "There's a serious error. Please call MIS and tell them module abc.asp line xxx

But... shame on me, in my "younger days", I would play pranks on the users. Like replacing format.com with format.bat, and giving the user something like this:

Insert new disk for drive A:
and press ENTER when ready...

This will erase all information on drive A:
Are you sure this is what you want to do? (Y/N) Y

Are you really sure? Because I'm not going to be able
to get it back after you do this! (Y/N) Y

OK, so you're absolutely POSITIVE that you want to
erase everything on that drive? Because it's not too late
to back out! (Y/N)

... etc.

However, here's a fun memory for you seasoned IT guys... the "Cookie" program.

The computer just comes up and says "I want a cookie." And will continue to bug you about cookies, until you type the word "cookie". Then it will go away.



Just my 2¢

"In order to start solving a problem, one must first identify its owner." --Me
--Greg

 

[gbaughma]

One other thought.... I had to do this one....

Our internal web system had two work order systems. One for regular maintenance requests from the maintenance department (stuff like clogged toilet, cold in this room, etc.) and the MIS work order system (mine).

I literally had to put "MIS work order system" in LARGE SCROLLING letters on the web page... with ***TWO*** javascript pop-ups when you entered it. The first one saying "This is the MIS work order system. If you are looking for regular maintenance, please use the Maintenance work order system"

... .and the second one said "Are you SURE you read the last popup? This is the COMPUTER work order system. We don't do toilets!"

.... and I *STILL* got work orders for the maintenance department. <lol>



Just my 2¢

"In order to start solving a problem, one must first identify its owner." --Me
--Greg