What did they REALLY say... 1

[SkipVought]

I think that it might have been in a MAD Magazine issue some 50 years ago, (yea, me an' Moses had a laugh!)

saying and quotes that were NOT as we have memorialized them.

Such as...

Captain Oliver Hazard Perry: After making little progress during the War of 1812, Perry's motto, "Don't give up the ship!" breathed life into America's fledgling navy.

What REALLY happened: Perry and the First Mate were having a BS session,

Perry: "When is the ship, not a ship?"
First Mate: "Hmmmmm?????"
Perry: "Do y' know?"
First Mate: "Hmmmmm?????????"
Perry: "Don't? Give up? The ship is not a ship, when it's afloat! Get it?"

Skip,

_{[red]Be advised:[/red]When Viscounts were guillotined just as they were disclosing where their jewels were hidden, it shows to go that you should...
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken!}

 

[Sheco]

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this Wal-Mart!

 

[SkipVought]

Skip,

_{[red]Be advised:[/red]When Viscounts were guillotined just as they were disclosing where their jewels were hidden, it shows to go that you should...
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken!}

 

[SantaMufasa]

...and for those of you familiar with Utah history, upon arriving in the Great Salt Lake Valley (and desert) following a 2 1/2-month, 1,032-mile (2,500-km) journey, the textbooks record his pronouncement:

This is the right place.

But we former Californians know what he really said:

This is the right place to camp for the night...tomorrow we continue on to California.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

Do you use Oracle and live or work in Utah, USA?
Then click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips.

 

[tsdragon]

Patrick Henry:

I have not yet begun to fight!

What he really said was:

I have not yet begun to fight with my wife, and we've been married for over a year!

(Another from Mad Magazine)


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[SkipVought]

Tracy -- John Paul Jones, not Patrick Henry, who was thought to have said...

"Give me liberty, or give me death!"

But, what he REALLY said was...

"Insthead of more fighting againsth thosth Limeyths, give me liberty or give me desthk job, OK? Thanths"

Skip,

_{[red]Be advised:[/red]When Viscounts were guillotined just as they were disclosing where their jewels were hidden, it shows to go that you should...
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken!}

 

[tsdragon]

Skip: Thanks for the correction. I didn't think that was right, but I couldn't think of who the correct person was so I figured I go for it and see if anyone knew.

History was never one of my strong subjects. Growing up on the west coast where civil war history is just book learning, I cared very little about it. When I moved to the east coast, I got a chance to go to Gettysburg on July 3 (the anniversary of Pickett's charge), and walk the path of the charge across the field. My friend and I were in period civilian costume, and we walked with re-enactors for both sides. It sure brings history alive. I couldn't have told you a thing about Pickett, his charge, or the date before then.


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[SantaMufasa]

Just to make certain we have the correct attributions:

I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! - March 23, 1775

In one of the bloodiest battles in naval history, Jones's ship, the Bonhomme Richard was on fire and near sinking from its engagement with the 44-gun Royal Navy frigate Serapis. The British commander demanded Jones's surrender. Instead, Jones defiantly retorted...

I have not yet begun to fight! - September 23, 1779

...Three hours later, the Serapis surrendered and Jones took command.

Mufasa
(aka Dave of Sandy, Utah, USA)

http://www.dasages.com

Do you use Oracle and live or work in Utah, USA?
Then click here to join Utah Oracle Users Group on Tek-Tips.

 

[tsdragon]

Be honest - you looked those up, didn't you?


Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.

 

[craigsboyd]

ROFLMAO!

http://www.sweetpotatosoftware.com

 

[BocaBurger]

Chayim Salomon (to JPJ) "Oy vey, do you know how much I paid for that ship?!"

I know this since he is an ancestor of mine. (Salomon).




BocaBurger
<===========================||////////////////|0
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword hurts more!

 

[SkipVought]

From memory...

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!

Actually, I memorized this from a record album I listened to as a lad, "Patrick Henry and the Frigate's Keel", so it is very dear to me.


Skip,

_{[red]Be advised:[/red]When Viscounts were guillotined just as they were disclosing where their jewels were hidden, it shows to go that you should...
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken!}

 

[lespaul]

Growing up on the west coast where civil war history is just book learning, I cared very little about it.

Spending a lot of my childhood on the east coast (north & south!) I had a wide exposure to civil war history. We went to Williamsburg, Washington, DC, museums in Philadelphia, Fort Sumter, etc.

Now living in the Southwest, my kids civics/history classes focus on Native Americans and the discovery of the southwest by the Spainards. Don't get me wrong, they talk about the civil war, but not like it's taught back east. And I don't have a CLUE about SW history!!!! My husband's in charge of helping with that homework (I do math & english!!)

Leslie

Anything worth doing is a lot more difficult than it's worth - Unknown Induhvidual

 

[SkipVought]

Sherman was alleged to have affirmed, "War is hell!"

However, while playing cards with his G2, the officer had the choice of games.

G2: "Let's play war. You know how to play, General, don't you?"

Sherman: "I know what war is! Hell, anyone know how to plat that stupid game!"

Skip,

_{[red]Be advised:[/red]When Viscounts were guillotined just as they were disclosing where their jewels were hidden, it shows to go that you should...
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken!}

 

[rwong]

This one is from Mad Magazine too (long time ago)


Richard III:

" A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse"

what he really said was...

Richard III squirrel: "Sir! Your enemies are offering a horse if you surrender your kingdom"

Richard III: " A horse? A horse? My kingdom for a horse?"

Rick

 

[SkipVought]

That's like the sign above the taylor's shop...

Aby the Taylor - I Sew for Nothing

and a guy was indignant when he was charged for having his suite altered. So he quoted the sign as proof, that his alteration should be free.

And Aby replied, "Yea, I'm Aby the taylor. I sew for nothing?" _{voice inflection required}

Skip,

_{[red]Be advised:[/red]When Viscounts were guillotined just as they were disclosing where their jewels were hidden, it shows to go that you should...
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken!}

 

[ESquared]

If I wanted my suite altered, I'd probably see an interior decorator or a construction contractor.

 

[SkipVought]

Pardon me, my slip is showing! ;-)

Skip,

_{[red]Be advised:[/red]When Viscounts were guillotined just as they were disclosing where their jewels were hidden, it shows to go that you should...
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken!}

 

[SilentAiche]

Another alleged JPJ quote, which he used to get out of boring conversations with his men:

Pardon me, my ship is slowing.

Tim

[blue]_____________________________________________________
If you need immediate assistance, please raise your hand.
If you are outside of Raleigh, raise your hand and say[/blue] [red]Ooh! Ooh![/red]

 

[tsdragon]

Mr. Gorbachev, tear this wall down! It's SO tacky. Masonry is so last century. A nice stockcade fence is SO much more attractive.

Tracy Dryden

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons,
For you are crunchy, and good with mustard.