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Ways to keep your system in top operating condition

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curlycord

Programmer
Sep 22, 2002
14,188
Toronto, Canada

1.Do not call for service until everyone has had a chance to form an opinion about what is wrong. Give each person a chance to correct the problem. Whenever possible flip all switches and turn all dials.

2.After several days, when the minor telephone malfunction has become a major annoyance, place an urgent service call. Fridays are best, but anytime after 4 p.m. is okay.

3.Alert all your people when the technician arrives. This way each person can give their own version of what is wrong. Suggestions on hw to fix the problem will be welcomed by the technician.

4.Hide the service history log and clear the error table. This makes trouble-shooting more interesting. He'll appreciate the challenge. Make several rude remarks about the technician who was here for the same problem last week.

5.The moment the technician arrives, ask what took him so long. Make it clear that whatever time he took t respond was too long. Before he can answer, preferably before he's even stepped inside your building, ask him how long it is going to take to repair the problem.

6.Any telephone you ask the technician to look at should be as dirty as possible. A mixture of coffee, white-out and pencil shavings work best. If the phone is electronic, add staples and paper clips.

7.Assign someone to supervise the repair. The best person to supervise is one who has never before been inside a switch room - nor has any idea where the main console is. Bad breath is a plus.

8.Five minutes into the repair, organize at least eight engineers to ask highly technical voice/data integration fourth generation PBX questions. The key is to ask questions which are in no way related to the immediate problem.

9.Make sure there are no lights in the switch room. Be assured a good technician can fix it blindfolded. An ideal switch room environment is two inches deep in dust, as well as damp, freezing and unventilated.

10.If the technician isn't doing anything to correct the problem (perhaps he's reading a schematic diagram or installation manual) ask him if he knows what he is doing. Mention that you fixed your toaster last week without a schematic - in fact, without reading the instruction booklet.

11.When the repair is complete, tell the technician what a swell job he did! Tell him it should be swell. After all, it took him long enough.

12.The instant the technician leaves, place another service call.

13.When the technician returns, tell him you forgot to tell him about :"this other little problem." Imply that you're a little disappointed that he didn't catch it when he was here two hours ago.

14.Never offer your technician a glass of water, a can of coke, or a slice of pizza, no matter how long he spends in your phone room. Tell him that working through lunch is like Time Division Multiplexing - when two or more things happen at once.

15.Never replace your own handset cords. Technicians love replacing modular cords. After all, this is why we have maintenance contracts. Your technician will appreciate the work, too.




 
Did someone really irritate you today? you forgot one:

Code:
16. After the technician leaves call another service call in about the phone that "was working fine before the tech was here"

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JerryReeve
Communications Systems Int'l
com-sys.com

 
roflmao lol...so true
Yesterday I completed a request for one additional phone to be installed. Upon completion the client asked if I had repaired the bad phone. What phone? Turns out, someone stole the handset cord, easy fix. Trying to leave,the garage mechanic stops me to report that his phone is dead. How long has it been dead? his answer....about a month. It had been disabled in the switch.

A man once said, "a good tech ain't afraid to do something stupid.
 
You just jogged my memory about an encounter I had with a customer about 25 years ago. While working for Pac Bell I was sent on a trouble call to fix a Northern Telecom SG-1 Pulse (anyone remember those?). The system was stuck in night mode. Each system had a set of 2 3-inch thick troubleshooting manuals inside the main cabinet. As I was following the flow charts to troubleshoot the system the owner pops into the phone room and barks at me, "Don't you know what the hell you're doing?"

I replied, "Yes sir, I do."

He then says, "Then why the hell do you need to read the book?"

I replied, "Sir, I don't have 2 3-inch thick manuals committed to memory. Would you like me to have a more experienced technician sent out?"

He says, "No, but I want your name right now! I'm reporting you to your supervisor!"

I calmly put away the manuals, picked up my tool case and replied, "My name is Brian Cox, and I'm leaving."

He just stood there speechless, and as I passed the receptionist she says to me, "I'm so sorry."

I replied, "So am I. Now it'll be another hour before your system is fixed."

I decided I better call my boss and give him the dirty details of my encounter before the customer called. He just laughed and said, "Don't worry about it. That old bastard does that to everybody."

Brian Cox
 
Outstanding! I think everyone has had customers like that. While at the big phone company, we had the State of Illinois account. Pontiac Prison's customer was like that. One evening, the on-call guy got an emergency call for Pontiac. He told the guy 'I just got on the tread mill now, and.....' Ha ha ha ha. Nice job Curly, a good laugh indeed
 
Very funny curlycord! i'll post it in my office.

Brian, Going back, i remember the first call i did as a new employee of ITT Canada, i had to install a ground start trunk in a ITT-3100 pbx. My experience was limited to key system only but i didnt want to say no to my boss.
i went to the site and after 3 hours of trying to make that trunk works, i finally called my boss, all panicky,and while i was trying to explain him the problem,he calmly replied to me: "it could be worst!"
"Oh yes, i said, how come?"
He said :"it could happen to me..."

I still remember it 20 years after...and use it sometimes...
 
Wow that's a great list.

When a customer starts being mean to me for no reason, I say "sir you're scaring me, i'm gonna have to leave now" ... It's great having the customer have to call the office later saying the tech left, and when they ask why, he says "I scared him" ... hehehhehe... they're always nice when you come back. :)
 
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